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| Well Butt-Aliscious, here is what I have learned (that is, taught myself) about the buttlove: First off, It is a VERY POWERFUL AREA. The energy flow here is intense. So, you must keep in mind to respect the energy, to pamper it a bit (at first), to form a relationship with it so that you both (that is, you and your asshole) are walking hand in hand. NOT, you trying to force anything. The asshole doesn't open to force, only love. Anal Energies It is an orifice of spiral muscle, which lays in the path of your kundalini. You could say that it's the physical manifestation of your former root chakra. As such, MUCH energy flows through it, and MUCH information is (potentially) stored within it. Good AND bad. Once you begin exploring, you will be disturbing and dislodging old stuck energies in this area. Being the root chakra area, the issues disturbed during play will be primal, basic. Powerful magic. And within this, is a portal to deep, deep physical satisfaction. I found it was necessary to really OWN the amount of old energy stuck here, otherwise it can be distracting once it wakes up and starts talking to you. Now, the old energy will be the primary barrier to enjoyment here. The old energy will be fear, in all forms, but will mainly be felt as an apprehension; should I be doing this? We are not taught to accept love anally, we are not even taught to love the asshole. In fact, most if not all of our training in this life was to disown the anus. It's dirty, it smells, it's full of poop, only perverts and fags like sex back there, etc. Or, you will have fear about the physical aspect: will I damage my anus? What if I loosen up and can't hold in my feces anymore? I don't want to wear diapers! Etc. Any concept that it is unnatural, or bad, or dirty, or in any way negative, WILL be old energy. Because the anus WANTS love. It HUNGERS for stimulation. You have been using it only to defecate, and so it feels that its most beautiful aspect has been ignored. Imagine treating your breasts as JUST udders, or your vagina as JUST a birth canal, or your penis JUST as a urination tube. It wants to open like a flower, to accept love, but you have many overlays that warp this energy. They keep the muscle tight and inflexible, which will cause pain upon stimulation. SO, the primary aspect of anal sexual practice is the release of old issues trapped in the tissues. Seriously, this is a big deal. With the tissue cleared, you have an orifice of pure fun. With issues, it will hurt and be troublesome. I have found that I release these issues in a certain way, but we all have our own favorite means of release; do what works for you. What I do, is just to start anal play, and as issues come up, release them. Works for me. OKAY, now the fun part (buttsex!). Orchestrating Anal Play The key to anal play is to be GENTLE, EXPLORATORY, and PATIENT. The anus will record experience deeply. If you rush the energy, and cause pain, this pain will be held as a warning to further intrusion, and limit your fun somewhat. If, however, you are patient and loving, the anus will know nothing but loving sensations, and will soon be a pleasure-only area. On a physical level, you want two things: A toy that is forgiving (that is, non-rigid, and quite smooth). You want to minimize the potential for jabbing or friction (at first, remember this is love training. Later, you can pound your ass with abandon). I would suggest a toy BEFORE using a finger, for two reasons. A finger can be rough in texture, and the angle can make using the hand directly too cramped. A toy extends the reach, means you don't have to be wrapped up in a ball to reach your finger up into your butt. But, I'm male, maybe the more-flexible women won't have that problem. Also you want PLENTY OF LUBRICATION. Like, a river. A lake. You CANNOT use too much lube. Can not. Understand it this way: The anus dilates on a daily basis. Every time you defecate, it opens like a flower. It already knows this, is comfortable with it. For all anal play, it is doing the same thing. However, instead of internal pressure helping it open outward, you are using external pressure (a toy). And the anus is set up like a downward spiral; down and out. This is why anal sex will not lead to incontinence; the muscle itself is designed to stay closed when relaxed, not from inner tension (which is how most of us walk around, especially...white people...), but from the basic elastic nature of muscle. When you open the anus with external pressure, the nature of the spiral muscle will be to close up onto whatever is "invading". With PLENTY of lube, that is, NO FRICTION, then the anal muscle has nothing to grab onto, so there is no unpleasant rubbing sensation. Only firm, yet gentle pressure to open up and relax. Good stuff. Even with enough lube (and again, use A LOT. This may well be the difference between "I tried it once" and "I can't stop!"), the anus will still, habitually, want to stay closed. I find the best thing to do is to just slowly and patiently (and playfully, devilishly) work your toy up your butt, while on the inside opening up your asshole to receive it. How? Why, it's the same relaxing, pushing, opening reflex you use to shit. Used Food Now, on the subject of feces... it's a fact of life. I think of it as a different type of menstruation; something which is gonna be there, so if you want to use the area you must respect it and work around it. For me, I will do a quick Fleet enema beforehand, just to rinse it all out. Incidentally, though I won't go into it here, enemas are a wonderful treat in themselves. Understand, that the rectum (right inside the asshole) is only a last-stop for feces; the loading platform. If you have recently defecated, and do a quick enema (and have fairly-solid stools), your "backup pussy" should be clean, pink, and ready. Though, if and when you do encounter feces, stay out of drama, wash the used food off whatever it got stuck to, and decide if you want to continue or try again later. Relax & Enjoy Getting back to the assplay: To open the anus to receive the toy, you will want to push your anus open. It will FEEL like shitting. This is where unlearning comes in. You know your rectum is empty, and freshly rinsed. You KNOW there is nothing in there. So PUSH, OPEN, RELAX. THIS, is the major challenge on the physical level: trusting you will not crap on the bed. We have SO MUCH CONDITIONING to keep our butts tight, to hold the poop in, that this is a rather large shift. But, it's a lot of fun, and in the end( ) it becomes more natural than your original compromised state. RELAX!!! OK, so we're relaxed, we are floating along in a river of lube, we are gently probing into our anus with a soft, smooth toy (or moisturized & manicured finger), and we are pushing our anus open, fearlessly, to accept it. There will be continued resistance from the basic elastic nature of the muscle, which again you must learn to relax fully. Very much like learning to open your vagina during early sexual experience, except it's your butt. What helped for me, instead of trying to "get" a toy completely up my butt, was to gently poke the toy in and out, relaxing the muscle. Focus on that, that first ring of muscle, getting that relaxed and in a safe place, so that it feels loved and protected. In and out, gently, add lube, keep going. The key is FUN, SAFE, PLEASURE, GENTLE. Love it and it will love you back. You have forever to get it working, don't rush it. This SHOULD be feeling excellent. If it's not yet connecting sexually, make sure you are also stimulating your other zones (clitoris, nipples, pussy & g-spot). This helps get the current going, and specifically in reconnecting the anus to the rest of the sexual system. Assplay without other stimulation can feel strange at first, almost nonsexual, so yeah, rub them nubs. If the sexual feeling is STILL not tying into the anus play, then I would explore the simple joy of fully relaxing the anus with the toy, playing for pleasure but not necessarily sexual. We so rarely do this, just to lay relaxed and completely release the anus without fear of what will come out, is a wonderful feeling. Ultimately, a large part of the pleasure I feel in assplay is that it's part massage; not just masturbation, but a release of deep tensions that lay at the very center of our sexual being (and many other layers as well). So work with this aspect, and the "horny" feelings will just come in when the space is ready. And until then, a deep-ass massage is just DIVINE. So that's buttlove 101. I tell you, there is NOTHING like this. The intensity of pleasure, mixed with the deep and primal connection, and the release of etheric residue from the root... wow. Good stuff. This is just a primer of sorts, a get-you-going type thing. This is what I have found is true for me, after much trial and error. At any point, when intuition takes you somewhere else, forget I said anything. And honestly, this is as short as I was willing to make it. Hope y'all found it useful. -Randy http://clarityisinsanity.blogspot.com/ |
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revised - 2005
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