The TAO of Lube

The TAO of Lube

I met the old Master in a quiet garden knoll. I came seeking the secrets of life that had alluded me for so long. I somehow knew he had that which I sought.

"Sit my son." the Master said. "What calls you to my presence?"

"I seek to know The Way and the Truth," I said. "I wish to let go of the complexities of choosing the right lube for sex. I wish to know in my heart what is best."

The Master smiled. He paused for a long while before speaking. Then he said in his wise,

"The Way is about change. Your answer lies in the changing element of Water. There can be no one answer."

In an instant it all became clear to me. I knew I had gotten the answer I sought! I bowed in deep respect and eagerly ran to my local lube shop. I knew the Way of the Lube!

One lube is rarely ideal for all situations.

Choosing a lube is based primarily on:
HOW WET IS THE SEXUAL ENVIRONMENT?

Here are some of my recommendations and explanations:

Water (or sweat) work to break down not only water based lubes, but even oil & silicone based lubes. Having several different kinds of lubes handy based on how "wet" the situation is will allow you to grab just the right lube in any given situation.

Now, I like things VERY SLIPPERY! So my goal was to find what kind of lube held up the best/longest in various situations.

- Dry -

- Sweaty -

- Shower Humid -

- Shower Wet -
- Underwater -

Problem:
When the environment is dry, your skin absorbs the moisture from the lube and it can dry out and become sticky or pasty.

Problem:
When the action gets really intense, sweat acts to break down thinner lubes.

Problem:
When masturbating in the humidity of the shower (without water hitting you) most lubes thin out too much.

Problem:
The water makes most lubes unusable. Oil based lubes can leave an oil slick in the hot-tub/pool.

Solution:
A lube that does not get sticky.

Solution:
A lube that is very thick.

Solution:
A lube that is very thick

Solution:
Silicone based lube or petroleum jelly.

System JO H2O

Is absolutely the best thing I have ever found! I LOVE this stuff for masturbating with my hand. It does not get sticky like other lubes do, and it doesn't dry out. Stays VERY slippery! Has no chemical smell to it.

ForPlay Gel

It seems to be at its best in hot sweaty action. Holds its ground well, long lasting. Doesn't get as "pasty" as other lubes do after play is done.
This isn't my "ultimate" for this category yet, it's just the best I've found so far.

KY Jelly

I keep coming back to this stuff for the shower. It's VERY slippery, cheap, thick, long lasting and easy to get. I often can get a large tube of the generic stuff on sale for under $2. WooHoo!
I just keep the tube in the shower.

ID Millennium

Silicone based lubes are amazing! Put it on when you are dry, then hit the water! It stays put (for DAYS if you don't wash!) It does break down over time and use, but it never completely goes away even for sex under water. Small 2.5oz bottle goes a LONG way!
Alternative: Petroleum Jelly

Limitations:
In a wet or sweaty environment it gets too thin.

Limitations:
In a dry environment it gets unpleasantly sticky. In heavy action starts to foam and emits a light chemical smell. (as most lubes will.)

Limitations:
In a dry environment it gets pasty REAL QUICK!

Limitations:
Expensive, takes soap & water to wash off. Wears out too quickly in dry environments.

I Use for:
Masturbation by hand- awesome stuff!

I Use for:
Anal Sex!

I Use for:
Masturbating or anal sex in the shower.

I Use for:
Sex in shower (in the water), hot-tub or pool sex. To "prelube" my anus for possible rough sex.

Where to buy lube?

STORES:
Most drug stores, supermarkets and department stores carry a very small variety. The only thing I usually get from kinds of stores is KY Jelly (generic name is "Lubricating Jelly")

To get the other varieties (and there are HUNDREDS of choices!) you need to go to an adult shop, sex toy store, or lube & condom store. Most major cities have them. Prepare to be overwhelmed with choices! Depending on where you go you can pay full price or almost DOUBLE full price! It's quite an interesting and lucrative market that seems to function more like cosmetics do.

ONLINE:
This seems to be your best choice when you are not in a hurry. :) When you know what you are looking for it's fairly easy to compare prices (check shipping/handling too!) Once you find something you like, stock up.

Does it really make a difference?

Yes, it really does! For years I used an oil based hand lotion for everything. It was cheap and worked very good, I knew of nothing else. But when I started to "step up" to lube made for sex I was really surprised at how much more pleasant and simple it was having the right lube. I no longer had to keep stopping to add more lotion, the lube kept going and going and going.

The other side of the coin, if you are broke and it comes between buying food, or buying lube... by all means, use hand lotion or whatever else you find around that seems to work. But when you feel ready to explore something better, do try some real lube. It makes a difference.

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