I wanted to get POZZED because of a POZ Boyfriend I had in �96. He was all I ever wanted in a Guy. But we never did it Bareback because he didn�t wish the Virus (and it�s Opportunistic Infections and MEDS with their side effects) on anyone. He was just too nice a guy. After he died (even the good die young), I moved to NYC because it was allegedly a Slut�s Paradise—Not True—it was Gulliani Time—American Hero, my Ass!
Anyway, the Bottom Line is, I BECAME OBSESSED WITH GETTING POZZED. I�m just a nice-looking Guy who works out. Good Bod, Chem Friendly, Masculine, Tight, BI (at the time)—JUST THE TYPE DUDES LIKE TO CONVERT. I�m actually more of a TOP—so it was easy attracting guys and asking them to Flip.
I tried for almost 3 years. I saw the same Counselor 4 times. Finally he asked, "What are you trying to do? Catch the Virus?" He�d hit the nail on the head, which got me leaking so badly, it stained through my shorts. Fearful of the consequences of being truthful, I lied.
After each visit to the Clinic, I�d head over to the West Side Club. Just before a guy would shoot, I�d ask "YOU CHARGED UP?� or �YOU POZ?"
If they said "NO," I�d move on. Numerous times I had NEG guys admit they were POZ when they saw what I wanted. And I�d hop back on �em (which was they wanted, too).
One guy told me I should try the East Side Club—Older Guys who were more likely POZ. I tried that, but many of them were not versatile enough to swing both ways.
I�m embarrassed to admit it, but I even cruised my Doctor�s Office in Chelsea. And I kept my eyes open when I walked past the GMHC AIDS Place on 26th.
It got to the point where I ASKED GUYS TO TAKE THEIR MEDS WHILE THEY FUCKED ME. But I realized I was probably taking Spunk from Very Low Viral Load (VLVL) Boys. I was so completely obsessed, I started doing research on the impact of VL on infection. One day, while rollerblading downtown, I read about this Dude in the Village who�d infected his Boyfriend with a DRUG RESISTANT SUPERSTRAIN.. Of course, the names had been changed to protect the Not-So-Innocent.
In very short order, I tracked �em down. It�s not hard to do once guys understand you have only the best of intentions—like GETTING POZZED. I�m certain they finally POZZED ME cause I didn�t do any other Fucking around while I awaited my latest test results with High Hopes and Great Expectations. I got the last laugh on that Stupid Ass Counselor. So I personally think you gotta do a Dude with a Potent Strain or at least a Very High Viral Load (VHVL).
I do wish I�d been more intimate with the Couple who POZZED ME. There�s nothing I can do to repay the Debt of Gratitude I and so many others owe them. Of course they�re dead now, so it doesn�t matter, anyway. Theirs was a STRAIN MADE IN HEAVEN;