Milehigh Man - Workout Journal 12/31/-1: SelfScreen.Com
by F_R_Eaky
CRCCK
“Ok..we’re on…”
“huh? What?”
“Shhh!”
“the light’s on…”
“ok one… two… three….”
“MERRY CHRISTMAS!”
“MEEERRY oh.. CHRISTMAS!”
“…MERRY CHRISTMAS!”
“MERRY CHRISTMAS!”
“FELIZ NAVIDAD!”
“Mer…MERRY CHRISTMAS!”
(ahahahahahahahahahahahaha)
“Hello, Arronites!”
“You got a name finally?”
“Shush, Beau!”
“Dude!... listen to your voice.. fuck that’s deep.”
“aha… uhmmm yeah…it is Austin. And seems to be getting deeper every day… And no, I didn’t get a name for those who follow my vlogs, Beau. Just something I came up with to call them, for now. If any of you have a better idea, leave it below in the comment section! See? See me pointing below the screen…down there… where you can make comments….. suggest names of what to call you as a group.
“So, at anyrate… it’s been another month. I’m going slow…”
“But growing fast…”
“Shush! Beau!”
“uhuh…”
“Dude, you ok?”
“He’s fine… he’s been suffering from allergies, Austin. Constantly getting weak around me. Anyhoo, viewers, welcome to Gamma Epsilon Pi’s New Year’s Eve Party! We’re at the home of one of our newest members, Angel!”
“Oi!”
“That’s him. He’s on the football team, and is it any wonder? He’s fucking jacked!”
“And Aaron’s a fucking flamer!”
“ahaha! SHUT UP, Greg! That’s Greg, you remember him from our fraternity’s first night of fun. He looks really tiny next to Angel.”
“Damn tiny..shit!”
“Well ya should.”
“What?!? Am I a big guy? Hooompffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffrrrrrr ryeaaaaah!”
“Oh damn….Angel…..”
“Dude, put the guns down or ya gonna scare Greg and make Aaron pop a boner!”
“SHUT UUUUUP! Hahahahahaahaaha Although… yeah.. you might… but can ya blame me? Look at him! He’s 6’ 5” 265 and totally cut and ripped. Look how his lats ooze out, spread so much wider than that wife-beater shirt of his. And those arms and chest and shoulders and…”
[Buckle, Ziiiiiiiiip, shoooof] “Don’ forget legs too. Hooompppppfffffff aaaah”
“Oh maaaaaan.”
“Dude! Did you just drop trou on the cam?!?”
“What? I’ve got boxers on.”
“Yeah, damn tight boxers. Fuck, dude, how big are your quads?”
“Not sure… never measured myself actually.”
“Well, you’ve got Aaron drooling.”
“S’okay… I don’t mind… I play for the other team, like Aaron.”
“Really?!? Awesome!”
“oooh”
“Beau, you ok?”
“Yeah fine…”
“Ok, so We all decided to come back from our Christmas breaks to spend New Year’s with our fraternity brothers here. Hahahaahaha… So lemme, get the cam and I say hey, it’s me Aaron. HI!”
“ooh”
“That over there is Beau.”
“Yo, Screeners.”
“Austin.”
“Hey!”
“Greg…”
“Hello.”
“Angel…”
“Oi, Prospero y felicidad ano neuvo!”
“And our other newest and most quiet member so far, Sven.”
“Hallo….”
“He says little but is seen much. He’s into techie computer stuff. He’s gonna help me with my vlogs and such. He’s 6’ 11” tall and what shoe?”
“Uhmmm size 14 in your country.”
“Damn, Angel’s got a bigger foot than you. What’s your size, Angel?”
“Sixteen and half.”
“Yeah, but Aaron’s got the biggest of us all!”
“Look at those damn flippers of yours!”
“Shush guys! Hahaha… but yeah… I do I have the biggest feet out of… ANYONE!”
“Oh!”
“Whoa, Beau? You okay?”
“Yeah, just need to go… to the bathroom…be right back…”
“Here, let me help you up…”
“No, I’m… ooooh…fine…”
“Whoa, what?”
“I guess he really needed to go, Aaron.”
“Zo, vhy don you tell everyone your announcement.”
“Huh? Oh yeah right, Sven. Ok.. so I am the biggest foot out of anyone! And… aaaand it’s gonna become official! We sent in video recordings to Guiness Book of World Records and they’re gonna fly me out to be measured by them and get my feet declared the world’s biggest. Apparently the current holder of that title has a pair of feet that are size 26 and mine… mine are….”
“Let me set the tape out for you.”
“Thanks, Greg.”
“And I’ll get the yard sticks for the vertical measurement.”
“Thanks, Angel… Ok… I put my foot down… like soo…”
“Good, Gawd, look at the size of that foot! It’s like the length of my whole arm!”
“Yeah.. it almost is there, Greg. So… what’s the tale of the tape say?”
“It’s 16.8333 inches long…”
“And that’s is…let me figure it out…”
“Dat’s a size 28 ant a half.”
“Thanks, Sven. So my foot has grown yet another a half a size larger… and let me back up against the door frame here and Angel you do the honors…”
“We mark off above your head like so…”
“And after I back away, Sven will read it off…”
“Six foot nine ant three-quarters.”
“You are getting taller.”
“Yep…but still pudgy…”
“Well, we’ll work on that.”
“Yeah… so Aaronites, now that I know what’s going on, my fraternity brothers here have decided to help make me their charity case. Angel is going to join Beau in helping me work out and work off and work up the weight. Sven is going to help keep my stats and vlog going. I don’t know what the rest of the fraternity is gonna do…”
“Just stay here and begin to look shorter…shorter…smaller…tiny …next to you.”
“AHAHAHAHA, yeah right, Austin. But anyhoo, Sven helped out already, suggesting contacting the Guiness people, who in turn are contacting Nike to see if I can get some shoes in my size made since I’ve outgrown any size available.”
“And still growing…”
“Yeah, but you, Angel, are going to help me fill out once I’ve grown up. But for tonight, we’re kicking back watching all sorts of drinks, knockin’ back a few movies… wait… did… did I just get that backwards?”
Hahahahahahahahaha
“Shut up! I did though didn’t I? You’ve laced my drink. Who did that?”
“You know, you have to learn to hold things when you start working out, weights, liquor…Oomph!”
“AAACH! ANGEL! OOofff WHOA aaahhhoooo ahhahha…errrgghmmggg….”
“….men… steady…steady…. You can do it…”
“…uh…I’m not used to carrying 265 pounds like this…”
“Just stand still…. You know what the legend is about New Year’s eve?”
“huhfffff ooooh pppffffahh what?”
“That whatever you’re doing, whomever you’re with on New Year’s Eve, you’ll be doing and spending time with for the rest of the year.”
“Really?,,,huh… I didn’t know that….uh…. damn you’re heavy.. can you get ….”
“Oh…look what’s been left here in the doorway…..mistletoe…”
“What? Hmmmmm mmmmmm mmmmm mmmm angel….mmmmmmmmmmmm”
(Boom)
“Damn, Angel. Land softly on your feet could you? You shake your whole house. And let him up for air, jeeze!”
(CRASH!)
“What was…”
“Beau… you dropped your drink…”
“Sorry, guys… not feeling well, uhm,… think I need to go home…”
“Wait, Beau, you can sleep it off here…”
“I don’t think he wants to, Aaron.”
“What do you mean, Angel?”
CRRRCK