Embracing True Colors 4
by Fahrenheit80
Josh ran down the street. His mind was flooded with fear. He couldn’t think straight. Flashing through his eyes, he was overwhelmed by images of horror. As time went by he was dragged deeper and deeper into his own hellish abyss. He could feel the unbearable heat, and there were the dreadful voices of souls torn apart.
The people Josh passed by were unaware of the struggle he had to go through. But they could read in his facial expression that he was bleeding under his shell, and his emotions were painted in sorrow. Most of the people backed off since they didn’t want to get involved. Only a few of them had the courage to ask him what happened.
Unfortunately, Josh left their questions unanswered. He only had thoughts for his children – the first time since the day he turned his back on them to discover the gay world. And then there were those images that ripped off his heart. They were about wolves in sheep’s clothing, stalking the innocents.
When Josh was in prep school, one of his classmates disappeared during a family weekend trip. Six years later his remains were found behind the wall of his murderer. In middle school his cousin fell into the hands of a serial rapist. After a failed therapy she committed suicide by jumping from a building.
Josh remembered the day of Stevie’s birth. The moment he held him in his arms he promised he would keep his children safe from danger.
In his despair he cried out their names “STEVIE! JO! WALLY!” – but to no avail.
However, he drew the attention of a young police officer who happened to be nearby. If Josh wasn’t blinded by fear he would make a move on the muscular stud whose pants showed his ass and crotch in a way that could start an inferno of lustful fantasies.
“What’s going on,” the police officer asked.
Again, Josh did not response to the people around him. He ran… and ran… and ran down and up the streets, calling for his children, imaging the worst scenarios. And then he prayed to God.
The fear he was experiencing was maddening. Josh wanted to fall down on his knees and to call for every superior being that could hear his pleading.
“Please, please, please, give them back to me,” he begged. But in their realm Josh fell on deaf ears.
For which reason should they listen to him? As far as their eyes could see there were people who suffered the same fate or even worse.
At that very moment a single mother would lose her daughter in a car accident while a man tried to reanimate his teenage grandson who hanged himself in the basement. And just then a little girl was told that her big brother was killed in action.
Nobody wanted to know their stories. And they would go unheard, hiding behind closed doors.
Nevertheless, in a fit of generosity the superior beings decided to perform a miracle. But only one of those desperate souls would get lucky. And the lucky one turned out to be Josh.
He looked up and saw Stevie, Jo and Baby Wally accompanied by notorious drag queen and part-time counselor Madame Oh. She accidentally crossed the children’s path and took them under her protective wing when they told her that they were on their way back home without parental supervision.
Josh shouted for them: “Stevie, Jo, Wally!” The moment he put his arms around them he was relieved. But at the same time his fear turned into anger.
“Why,” he asked, looking each one of them into the eyes. “Did you know what I went through? Don’t scare me like that!”
“As if you would care,” Stevie replied.
“What?”
“Don’t talk to him like that,” Madame Oh suggested. “Your daddy cares for you.”
“I was looking for you everywhere! I was scared to death…” Josh touched his daughter’s cheek, recalling her first day in kindergarten. She asked him to stay by her side, and he did, keeping an eye on her while she was making new friends and becoming accustomed to the new environment.
Josh’s heart was still pounding like a drum. And every part of his body was trembling. Moreover, he was still haunted by those images of wolves tearing his children apart. He didn’t know how long it would take to get them out of his mind. But it would follow him into his dreams tonight.
“I’m sorry, daddy,” Jo said. It was the first time she saw her father with an anxious face. And at the sight of his sorrowful eyes she was about to cry. So did Baby Wally.
“Sorry,” the toddler sobbed. He didn’t understand what was going on but he was instinctively aware that he did something wrong. Unlike his sister who could hold back her tears he completely gave in to his emotions.
“Stevie told us that we better leave you alone when you became angry at us,” Jo stammered. “It’s his fault.”
“No, honey pie,” Madame Oh intervened. “No one is at fault. It’s just a big misunderstanding.”
“No, it’s not,” Stevie grumbled. He took Jo’s and Baby Wally’s hands and tried to drag them away from their father. “Let’s go!”
“Stop it,” Jo cried. She managed to free herself from Stevie’s grasp by hitting and kicking him on his arm and leg. “You idiot,” she yelled and ran behind her father’s back. “You stupid, stupid idiot!”
Josh didn’t know what to do but to remain silent. The whole situation was getting out of control. His eldest son and only daughter were screaming at each other. Baby Wally had a crying fit. And everybody who passed by was giving them an upset look. Everything was too much for him. Josh was on the point of having a nervous breakdown.
“Fine,” Stevie shouted at his sister. “Stay with him! He doesn’t care for us anyway!”
At that very moment Josh lost it. His hand slipped. When he realized what he had done he told himself that Stevie left him no choice. It was the right thing to do. And with that he recovered his voice. “What’s your goddam problem,” he angrily asked his son. But his question was left without an answer as Stevie turned around and took his leave.
Josh stood up. He didn’t care about the people who were staring at him. He didn’t care about Jo who begged him to calm down. He didn’t even care about Baby Wally who was still crying. “Stop right there! Or I gonna…”
Before Josh could finish the sentence Madame Oh stepped in. She grabbed his arm, and by slapping him in the face she put some sense into his mind. Although she made a vow to stay away from the business of other superior beings she couldn’t take it any longer. Over the last three years Josh’s adventures in the gay world and the temptations he was unable to resist turned him into a prick. The ones who suffered most were his own flesh and blood. That was by far the worst crime anybody could ever commit. And Madame Oh wanted to make things right. She wanted to wipe away Jo’s tears, to make Baby Wally laugh and to give Stevie back his father. For that purpose she was ready to break her vow and to turn against her own kind.
In the blink of an eye Josh was hit by a massive flood of long forgotten memories. He remembered Stevie’s first birthday, his first word, his first steps, his first soccer match… and there was the evening Stevie made him promise to take him to the museum for a school project. However, Josh didn’t keep his promise due to the shooting of his latest porn flick. Since then his son stopped calling him and, to his own distress, he didn’t ask why. Moreover, he didn’t care. He was too busy with his career in the adult industry, only thinking of his next fuck session and the pleasures he would experience.
Then a voice echoed somewhere deep inside of him. “Was it worth,” the voice asked.
Finally Josh came to realize that he failed to see the things that mattered most. The people he met during his adventures were only interested in sticking their dicks in his ass and making use of his professional cock sucking skills. But there was no love involved. Despite the fame and fortune he gained as a porn actor and as a high class escort there was nobody he would put over his own life… but his children. They were the only ones who truly loved him. And he was about to throw them away.
Josh couldn’t let that happen. He had to run after Stevie and get a hold of him before it would be too late to fix things.
“Stevie, don’t go,” Josh stammered. “I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”
When he managed to put his arms around his crying son Madame OH’s magic reached the core of his soul and opened the box in which his old self was locked up for three years. All the emotions that were laid to rest burst out and engulfed Josh’s heart. They were warm and gentle. At the same time they frightened him.
Stevie tried to push him off. But he was powerless against his father’s arms. “Let me go,” he shouted. Tears were running down his face. Deep inside he wished his father’s embrace would last forever. It reminded him of the old times, the days they were inseparable, the moments he felt safe whenever he was by his side. He prayed to God that everything wasn’t a dream. He prayed and prayed and prayed that his hopes wouldn’t be shattered the next time he opened his eyes.
“Don’t go,” Josh whispered desperately in his ears. “I know you’re angry because I didn’t keep my promises. But, please, give me one more chance. Just one. That’s all I’m asking for.”
“I asked you so many times,” Stevie replied. “And I waited and waited. But you never came.”
“That won’t happen, I promise.”
“You lied to me so many times.”
“Just one more chance,” Josh sobbed.
Stevie hesitated. He was still filled with anger. But then again he wanted his loving father back, the man he once looked up, the hero who fended off his nightmares. It didn’t matter to him if he was gay. All he wanted was him being honest.
For a while nothing happened. Only silence.
Josh didn’t know what to do but to hold his son tight to his chest. He was afraid of making another mistake, afraid of saying the wrong words, afraid of losing his son, afraid of being hated by him for the rest of his life. However, he had to pull himself together because nothing would change if he didn’t make the first move.
And Stevie did make up his mind, when Josh told him: “Let’s go to the museum, even if it’s too late. I just want to make things right...”
Meanwhile, Cindy Miller had the same thought. She wanted to make things right. During working hours the wellbeing of her patients always came first. Sometimes she had a hard time to deal with their fates. Just a few minutes ago she had to tell a woman of the same age that her husband wouldn’t make it to next spring. Of course, the woman didn’t take it well.
In times like these Cindy imagined herself in the shoes of the people who were delivered a death message. Instead of losing her mind, she would experience relief.
Five years had passed since the day her husband disappeared without a trace. Everybody told her to lay him to rest as it was known that Joe would never leave her as long as he wasn’t dead already. But Cindy was haunted by the feeling that her husband was still alive and that someday they would be reunited.
During her break she locked herself in her office, opened the lower drawer of her desk and took out their wedding picture. When recalling the day they exchanged rings in front of their family and friends she couldn’t help herself but to smile. And when she remembered the last part of Joe’s marriage vow she had to cry.
“I will love no matter what happens. And even in our final days I will hold you in my eternal embrace.”
It was the sweetest words she ever heard. Their story couldn’t just end like this. No, her beloved Joe had to be alive. He had to be somewhere, trying to return to the place he belonged.
Cindy put the picture back into the drawer. Then she asked the Lord, “Please, protect Joe. If he’s dead, then tell him to wait. If he’s alive, then tell him to come back to me. Send him a message that I will always be waiting for him.”
Every time Cindy couldn’t bear the sorrow and was in need of a shoulder to cry on she called her daughters. Unfortunately, Nicole was in Paris to pursue her modeling ambitions and Trishelle found a boyfriend who she considered as Mr. Right. Her daughters were already living their own lives. Cindy wasn’t needed anymore. All what was left were her job and her best friend Brent Charles who didn’t pick up his cell phone.
Today Cindy felt lonely. She knew that it wouldn’t be the last time. But the thought of living her remaining years without somebody by her side was unbearable. Cindy wasn’t ready for that. And maybe she would never be.
All of the sudden, somebody knocked on the door.
Cindy wiped off her tears and took a deep breathe. “Yes?”
A familiar face peered through the crack of the door. It was Lori, Edwards’ ex-girlfriend. “May I come in?”
“Yes,” Cindy said.
Lori stepped into the office, closing the door behind her. “You’re okay?”
“Don’t worry. I’m just tired.” Cindy tried to smile. “How can I help you?”
“There is something I have to tell you,” Lori replied. “I wasn’t honest about… the reason for the fight… and for our break-up… Edward told me the truth about Toby’s suicide.”
“Didn’t he kill himself because he was bullied at school?”
Lori shook her head. “No… I mean, the bullying did kill him.”
“And what exactly did Edward tell you?”
“How his name got on the list… How his life became miserable in the first place…”
At the same time Brent couldn’t be happier as he was showing the most handsome guy on earth a world beyond his imagination. Of course, it took a lot of persuasions. But he was sure that the results would be worth the effort. Tom was very close to be the man of his dreams. Despite the fact that Tom was a straight widowed father of twin daughters who lived his whole life in a small town in Alaska, all he had to do was to give him a taste for leather.
At first he was shocked at the sight of clothes he didn’t even know they existed. Not to mention the accessories and, especially, the toys. Actually, the store was selling monster sized dildos, butt plugs, anal beads, love eggs and some electric devices that were absolutely mind-blowing.
Step by step Tom’s shyness was replaced by curiosity. He started to ask questions and to take a few pieces of leather and rubber clothing into his hand.
“What’s this? Why is it cut this way? How do you get into those pants? Do men really enjoy doing that kind of stuff?”
Brent’s new acquaintance behaved like a child in a candy store. Everything was new to him. The smell. The feeling of the material. No wonder, as Tom was raised in a very conservative community. Until now, his life revolved around marriage, fatherhood and his job. Today was the day he wanted to open his mind, to experiment, to broaden his horizon. He wanted to change. He wanted to look cool. He wanted to be anything but an old-fashioned small town boy.
“You should try them on,” Brent recommended.
“I don’t know,” Tom replied. “I don’t have the guts to wear them in public. They are… exceptional.”
Brent giggled. “Did you look yourself in the mirror lately? You can wear anything you want and never have to worry about whether something is too different or over the top. Trust me. I’m a gay man. I know what I am talking about.”
“You don’t walk around dressed up in leather every day, do you?”
“From tip to toe. And yes, there is no single day I don’t walk around dressed up in leather. The tighter the better.”
“You really are an extraordinary guy,” Tom suggested with a grin.
Again, he browsed the racks, checking out the pants, chaps, shirts and vests. Each time his hands touched the black leather, he was hit by sensation. To his own surprise, he became more and more accustomed to the feeling. A stream of images was flashing through his eyes. Tom watched himself putting on a pair of tight leather pants, a leather vest, boots and gauntlets. There was even an image of him wearing nothing but leather chaps and a leather jockstrap. Finally, he couldn’t get out the thought of him being dressed in leather. He had to give in to his curiosity. He had to know the feeling of leather wrapping his legs and ass. He had to wear them. Unbeknownst to him, Tom was about to develop a fetish he would enjoy for the rest of his life.
“Alright,” Tom said. “Let’s see if I can be a leather man like you.”
Brent didn’t need to be told twice. In an instant he threw Tom a pile of different pieces of leather clothing and pushed him into the changing room. It didn’t take long and Brent was overwhelmed by the result of his makeover. He was on the point of crying.
“Oh my God,” he sighed when Tom came out of the changing room in a pair of side lazed leather pants, leather gloves, Wesco boots and leather arm bands. On top of it he wore a buckle chest harness that showed off his muscular upper body. His skin was smooth and hairless. Furthermore, there were no scars, no tattoos, no piercings. Brent would love to do some ‘modifications’. At first he would get his nipples pierced. Then he would give him a tribal tattoo that would cover his arm, shoulder and chest… and perhaps a tramp stamp. But then he told to himself, “One step at a time.”
“How do I look,” Tom asked. He was still insecure about his appearance. But he had to admit that the feeling was awesome.
“Darling, there are no words that can sum up your hotness.”
Brent laughed. “You’re the first man who called me hot.”
“You sure you’re straight?”
“Still straight as an arrow.”
“You’re breaking a gay man’s heart, you know that,” Brent sulked.
Tom shook his head in amusement. “I’m born that way,” he said. “And I’m very proud of it.”
Brent gave out another sigh. He wished some doctor would find a pill that changed a man’s sexuality. Then again, life wouldn’t be so interesting.
No, Brent liked it that way.
If Tom was straight, so be it. At least he could meet a gay version of him in his sweet dreams. Hunky Tom, tattooed and pierced, dressed in leather, making love to him, sucking his cock, rimming his ass and fucking him senseless. In bed. On the floor. In the grass. On a sling. In the dungeon. Making love to him. Taking him to the brink of madness.
Tom would make a great top. And Brent would be his obedient bottom. Kissing him. Licking him. Caressing him. Stroking, sucking, deep throating and riding his cock. Minutes would turn into hours, hours into days, days into weeks and weeks into months. And perhaps they would stay together for the rest of their lives.
Yes, Brent could imagine tying the knot with him, settling down in a monogamous relationship, buying a house and raising two dogs. Tom was the type of selfless man who put the people who were dear to him first. He would do anything to make them happy. With him by his side Brent’s life as a gay slut would finally come to an end. And he was sure that he wouldn’t miss it.
At that moment Brent came to realize that he was actually falling in love with his new acquaintance. However, Tom would never feel the same for him. He was straight. He wasn’t attracted to him. And he was actually breaking Brent’s heart…
In the meantime, Josh enjoyed the time he shared with his children while they were visiting the museum. He even found out the trick to hold Baby Wally in his arms without any problems. To be precise, the toddler didn’t want to leave him. He was undoubtedly comfortable to be carried around. Furthermore, he couldn’t get enough of his father’s cologne. “Daddy smells like chocolate,” he laughed and tickled him by pressing his face against his neck.
“Watch out,” Jo shouted. “Baby Wally is going to eat you!”
“I’m eating Daddy.”
For the first time since coming out as gay Josh experienced what he identified as ‘true happiness’. How could he ever believe to replace it with sexual pleasure? For his children it didn’t matter if he was playing for his own team now or if he preferred to walk around in skin-tight leather clothing or if he was selling his body for a living. The love they gave him was unconditional and 100 percent pure. They just had to smile and there it was. Josh didn’t need to search for it since he already found it. How could he ever be so blind?
“I want to eat Daddy, too,” Jo said and stretched out her hands.
“No, Daddy is Wally’s now!”
“That’s not fair!”
“After the museum we could get some ice cream,” Josh suggested.
“Yeah! Ice cream! Ice cream!”
“I want Daddy ice cream,” Baby Wally said. “And a coke!”
“Alright,” Josh replied.
“Are you crazy,” Stevie asked his dad. “Mum doesn’t allow Baby Wally to drink anything with sugar. He gets out of control.”
“Baby Wally becomes Super Wally,” the toddler shouted, flexing his arms like a body builder.
Josh noticed that the people around them were staring. But they didn’t appear to be annoyed. Actually, they were amused at the sight of him getting along with his children. As a matter of fact, there was a few who was jealous of their relationship. Nevertheless, Josh could care less about them. He had only eyes for Stevie, Jo and Baby Wally.
Unfortunately, their happiness was numbered. When they stopped in front of wall with a map of the United States, Josh’s life turned upside down.
“Where are we living now, Daddy,” Jo asked.
“Let’s see… We are… here.”
“And where is the town we are going to move to?”
Josh’s finger moved from one side of the continent to the other. “There, I guess.”
Jo’s face turned pale. She didn’t know that they were moving that far. The longer she looked at the map, the more her eyes filled with tears. And then she cried.
“What’s wrong,” Josh asked and went down on his knees to be face to face to his daughter. “Don’t cry.”
“No, no crying,” Baby Wally said as he shook his head and tried to wipe off his sister’s tears with his tiny hands. “You are making Wally cry, too.”
“How are you going to visit us,” Jo sobbed.
Her words hit him hard. Josh didn’t know what to say. Deep inside of him, he wished he could make her tears disappear. He wanted to turn back the clock. Just a few minutes. But it wouldn’t change the fact that he was losing his children no matter what happened.
Their mother had sole custody. And he wasn’t allowed to visit them without her agreement. Since the day he walked out of their marriage to start a new life they weren’t in good terms. Actually, the love they once had for each other turned into hate.
All Josh could do was to pray that it wasn’t the last time he could be with his children. He had just rediscovered his feelings for them and he wanted to keep them because they were the best things that ever happened to him. He would rather die than saying ‘Goodbye’ to any of them and losing his precious memories. They were the source of his life. The one and only…
Just a few blocks away Cindy headed to Edward’s room, accompanied by Lori who had just told her the real reason for her patient’s behavior. On the one hand she was relieved, on the other hand she had the strong urge to beat the crap out of the high school senior. Up to that point Cindy saw Edward as a victim but he turned out to be the exact opposite.
“After that we should go to the police,” Cindy recommended to Lori.
But the young woman shook her head. “I can’t do that,” she said.
“Why,” Cindy asked her in disbelief.
Lori hesitated. Although she was one of the people who had been deceived by Edward’s lies, she couldn’t help herself but to say, “I love him.”
“How can you love him? After all he killed your cousin!”
“I don’t know,” Lori sobbed. “I know it doesn’t make any sense. But I love him. At the same time I hate him for what he did to Toby.”
When they reached their destination something unexpected awaited them. The room was empty. And there was no sign of Edward. Nothing but a note on a small piece of paper, written in capital letters.
“I DON’T DESERVE TO LIVE.”
Cindy immediately called the nurses and her colleagues who were available at that time to help her searching for the missing patient. Within a few minutes the whole hospital was in an uproar. It remained a mystery how Edward could leave his room without being noticed. But he couldn’t be that far.
As time passed Lori became more and more desperate. She put the blame for his disappearance on herself. If they hadn’t got into a fight none of that would have happened.
“It’s not your fault,” Cindy told her, over and over again. “We are going to find him. He will pay for what he did.”
Then all of the sudden Lori let out a scream.
“What’s wrong,” Cindy asked.
The young woman pointed a shaking finger at the open door that led to the stairway. “He’s here,” she stammered.
“Who?”
“Toby…”
While Cindy and Lori were facing an encounter from beyond the grave, Brent Charles, Cindy’s best gay friend, invited Tom Burke, the hunky widow from Alaska, to his hotel room.
Their shopping spree finally took a toll on them as they became exhausted and got blisters on their feet. In particular, Tom had to suffer the most due to his cowboy boots. He still had a long way to go before he could say that these boots were made for walking. Nevertheless, he was happy. He had a new youthful look, new clothes, and for the first time in his life he enjoyed wearing leather.
When he put on a pair of skin tight leather pants the following sensation took him by surprise. The feeling, the sound and the smell of the flexible and shiny material on his skin were arousing, corrupting, intoxicating. They were absolutely mind-blowing. He couldn’t get enough of the thrill and lusted for more.
The moment Tom looked himself in the mirror he didn’t recognize the person he was looking at. Early in the morning he woke up as a beefy hairy man from a small town. As the day progressed he turned into a handsome shaved hunk thanks to his new friend Brent. At first he was afraid that his new appearance could affect his personality. Well, it did change him – but for the better. Tom had a new attitude towards his body. He was more accepting. Furthermore, he found the courage to try out new things.
After a short break Brent asked him to put on his most daring outfit. “I want to take some nice pictures,” he said.
“Seriously, you can’t get enough of me, can you,” Tom suggested in amusement. He stood up, took one of the bags and stepped into the bathroom. His most daring outfit consisted of a pair of leather gloves, Wesco boots, leather chaps, armbands, a leather cap, a y-front harness and a black leather jockstrap.
At the sight of the man of his dreams Brent had to pull himself together. His hands were shaking while holding the camera. At first it was impossible to take a good picture. But as the minutes went by he relaxed. Even when Tom took his modeling attempts to a sexual level, he didn’t let it go to his head. Instead, he poured his feelings into the pictures.
Meanwhile, Tom couldn’t believe what he was doing. But he had to admit that he liked it. Over time he overcame his inhibitions and tried different positions. He went down to all fours, put his ass in the air, lay down on his back, spread his legs wide open, played with his nipples…
“You’re a natural,” Brent remarked. “Did you ever consider a modeling career?”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Darling, you’ve got a perfect body and a beautiful face. And your eyes are stunning,” Brent said. He went down and touched Tom’s cheeks… then his chin and eyebrows. “They are like a forest. And your lips…”
Tom giggled. “You’re making me blush.”
“I’m just telling you the truth. You are the most handsome man I’ve ever met… And the first man who actually…”
“Yes?”
“I wish I could put it into words. But I can’t,” Brent admitted. “I’ve never experienced it with another man before… Never ever had these strange feelings… You’re hurting me. And I want the pain to last forever.”
Tom froze. He didn’t know how to react to Brent’s words. It was the first time someone of his own gender confessed his love to him.
For a while they looked into each other’s eyes in complete silence. Then Brent’s face came closer… closer… and closer… breathing… heavily…. until their lips were locked in a passionate kiss…