Second Puberty 9

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"Did you hear that?” asked Veronica.

“What?” I said.

“Thunder. There’s a storm coming.”

The three of us paused for a minute trying to hear any thunder, but all I could hear was the sound of my own chewing.

“You really shouldn’t be eating while we do this,” said Veronica, gesturing toward the giant bowl of anti-pheromone agent.

“Wha..?” I said, my speech garbled by the half chewed hot dog in my mouth.

“If you drip any of that into the mixture you could ruin the entire batch.”

“I be ca-fu,” I said, determined to cram as much meat into my system as possible.

There was a low rumbling. This time we all heard it. We were definitely in for a storm.

Veronica just sighed and took the mixture’s temperature again.

“It’s gotta be nearly done,” said Geoff.

“Yeah, what makes you say that, Einstein?” asked Veronica.

“Because it’s really starting to stink.”

It was starting to stink, just like the batch we made in the biology lab; it was starting to smell like a giant pile of shit.

“Your plan is never going to work,” said Geoff. “One whiff of that stuff and no one’s going to go near it.” He had a point.

“You got a better idea, genius?” asked Veronica.

Geoff remained silent.

“That’s what I thought.”

Suddenly my stomach let out a giant growl.

“Now it even sounds disgusting,” said Geoff.

“That wasn’t the mixture, that was him,” said Veronica, indicating me.

“Sorry,” I said and I reached for another hot dog. Thunder rolled ominously.

“You’re going to make yourself sick if you don’t stop eating like that.”

Maybe she was right. If I threw up I’d lose a lot of what I’d eaten. I didn’t want to risk that, so I put the hot dog back.

Suddenly I felt hot for a second. It was like someone turned my body temperature up about 20 degrees and then turned it right back down again. Something was happening. I wondered if it was the growth spurt. It might be, but nothing like that had ever happened before.

“You all right, bro?” asked Geoff. “You turned bright red there for a sec.”

“I did?” I said. “I mean, I’m fine.”

“It might be all those phosphates,” said Veronica. “Hot dogs aren’t the healthiest things in the world.”

That’s probably what it was, the phosphates. Maybe hot dogs weren’t the best choice for this kind of thing. My stomach growled again.

“Dude, I hope for your family’s sake you have your own bathroom.”

I nodded. Outside the window there was a bright flash.

“Come here and hold this for me,” said Veronica. I went over hand held the stainless steel tub while she poured the contents of our large mixing bowl into it. Suddenly my hands started shaking and the bowl began to dance across the counter. I did my best to keep them steady but I couldn’t stop shaking.

“Very funny,” said Veronica trying to follow the tub with the bowl. “Now hold the tub still.” Hold the tub still? I couldn’t even hold my hands still. But then the shaking stopped and Veronica was able to finish.

What was that? I looked at my hands. They didn’t look any different. They felt fine, now. Suddenly a spear of fiery pleasure shot through me. It was brief but felt incredible. I must have groaned because both Geoff and Veronica were looking at me.

“Are you all right?” asked Veronica.

“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe I’d better lie down.” I was now pretty positive that the growth spurt was on its way. And as much as I liked my friends, I really wanted to be alone for this.

More thunder.

“Okay,” said Veronica, “We’re done here. I’ve got two essays due tomorrow and I don’t like the sound of that storm anyway.” She gathered up her things and I walked her to the door. Geoff was right behind us.

She gave me a quick peck on the cheek and glared and Geoff. “You keep your dick in your pants,” she said to him. “He needs to rest.” And then she walked out the door, glancing nervously at the sky. It lit up and she hurried toward her car.

“Maybe we should walk her to her car?” I suggested.

“No,” said Geoff. “She’ll be all right. The cops are out there.”

“What?”

“That’s what I came to tell you. The cops are watching me and I think they’re watching you, too.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Then I remembered those guys with the newspapers. “Me? Why are they watching me?”

“It’s that steroid investigation. Only it’s not really steroids they’re after.”

Another lighting flash.

“I don’t understand.”

“There’s a new performance enhancer out there that works by stimulating the body’s production of its own natural steroids and growth hormones. It’s supposed to work unbelievably fast. They think my guys are on it. They think I’m on it.”

Rolling thunder.

“But, why are they watching me?”

“Gee, I don’t know. Why would anyone think you were on steroids?”

“Oh, yeah. Good point. So, why don’t they just test us for it?”

“It doesn’t show up on tests. They’re trying to catch us in the act. I only found out about it because my dad knows one of the cops.”

“So, what do we do?”

“There’s nothing we can do. I mean I’m not on the stuff so I’ve got nothing to worry about.” Something about the way he said that, just didn’t sit right with me.

“What are you trying to say?”

He shifted uncomfortably. “Did you ever think that maybe you are on the stuff, that maybe this Professor Grant guy slipped it into your corn flakes or something, and that’s why you’re growing?”

I thought about it for a second, but no. “Not unless it changes your eye color, and messes with your pheromones.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that.”

We were still standing by the open front door and it started to rain.

“I should get going,” said Geoff.

“Ok,” I said. I had another hot flash. It passed quickly but it left me a little breathless. I could tell Geoff noticed.

“Unless you want me to stay,” he offered.

I paused for a second. How should I put this? “Probably not tonight.”

“You’re going to grow again, aren’t you?”

“How did you know?”

“You’ve been protein loading. Guys usually do that when they’re trying to grow.”

I laughed inside. I had been, but oddly enough, the protein had little to do with my impending growth.

He lowered his voice. “Are you sure you don’t want me with you, maybe inside you, while you grow?”

As alluring as that sounded, the answer was no. My psyche had been deeply wounded by Gil Stafford, and tonight I would be taking the cure. If my guess was right, I should become huge. It would change me forever and I was looking forward to it with a savage longing. I wasn’t sure if it was a thing Geoff, Veronica or anyone in my family could really understand. Even I was surprised at how it was affecting me. “I want to do this one alone,” I said, “but maybe the next one.”

The sky rumbled and my stomach answered back.

“Well, ok. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said, giving me a bear hug. He stepped out the door into the rain and then he turned and looked at me.

“What?”

He smiled kind of sadly. “It’s just—I’m never going to see you like this again.”

“No.”

There must have been something in my voice, because his smile faded.

“There’s nothing else going on here, right? Because you’d tell me if there was.”

There was a split second when I almost told him, but it passed. “You’d better get to your car; you’re getting soaked.”

He paused. I thought he might say something else but then he nodded, turned and dashed into the wind swept night.

I closed the door behind him just as another stab of pleasure hit me. It was time to go to my room. I was ready to get big—more than ready to get more than big.

“Hey, everybody,” I called into the family room. “I’ve got a huge calculus examine tomorrow. I’m going up to my room to study and I’d really appreciate not being disturbed.”

I got several noncommittal grunts. This kind of announcement was not uncommon and I was pretty sure no one would bother me until morning.

I had another bout of the shakes as I climbed the stairs to my room. But when I came out of it, I felt really good, like I could run up a mountain. It must be getting close. I made a dash for my room and slammed the door behind me. I pulled off my shirt and stood in front of the mirror waiting.

And I waited. And waited.

Outside, the storm raged. I sat down on my bed and I waited some more.

I had a hot flash. I jumped up and ran to the mirror, and… waited.

I had two more hot flashes and another bout of the shakes. And on each occasion I stood ready by the mirror but nothing more happened. My stomach seemed to have stopped growling though. That was something. Although with all that thunder it was really hard to tell.

What was going on here? Had the professor been wrong?

Lighting flashed outside as I started checking myself out in the mirror. I thought I looked pretty impressive. But then I remembered how easily Gil and his buddies had overpowered me, and I started to get depressed. I sat down on my bed and my eyes landed on my backpack. A few of the baked goods my admirers had left me were sticking out of the top of it. They looked pretty good. I hadn’t had anything sweet since those two cookies I ate this past afternoon. I walked over and selected a fudge brownie. There was a tag on it addressed to the Beast, which I ignored as I quickly ate it; very tasty. I started to feel better at once. Then looking for other things to cheer myself up with, I noticed the box of t-shirts I had rescued from my mom earlier. I decided I would blow one out. If that didn’t make me feel better, nothing would.

There was a huge boom and a flash as lightning struck nearby. I selected a t-shirt and pulled it on. This one wasn’t quite as tight as the others had been but I figured I could still destroy it.

Then, staring at myself in the mirror, I started to feel a little light headed. My first thought was growth spurt! But it didn’t feel like a growth spurt. I was starting to feel somewhat disconnected from myself. At the same time, my senses were becoming extremely focused and distinct.

Suddenly, I knew what must be happening. I grabbed for the brownie’s tag which I had let drop to the floor. To the Beast, it said, love Tilly Wacowski. Tilly Wacowski! Tilly Wacowski was the biggest stoner in school. What the hell did I just eat?

Then I was looking at my arm. I noticed each and every hair that grew out of it. I marveled at the pattern they made as they lay across my skin. It was so intricate, so delicate. And the color of my tight t-shirt, it was the most brilliant blue I had ever seen. Jewels couldn’t be that blue.

I could hear my heart beat, slow and steady. It was almost hypnotizing. BA bump, BA bump, BA bump. As I listened to it the beat began to pick up. BAbump, BAbump, BAbump. I could feel the blood rushing through my veins and arteries, like tiny high pressure water lines running through my body. I could almost hear the sound, like dozens of tiny racing rivers, rushing to a pulse.

BAbumpBAbumpBAbump. My heart beat faster, my blood flowed furiously, demanding more oxygen from my lungs and my lungs were responding. I felt them start to expand, like two balloons inside my chest. I felt the coolness of the air as it flowed in through my nostrils and mouth and made its way down into my upper thoracic cavity. I felt my lungs increase in size as they filled and then shrink back down again as they pushed the warm carbon dioxide back out.

The demand for oxygen increased, so did my breathing rate. Soon I was gasping. What a fantastic sound. It was a sort of rhythmic swishing sound, which together with my thumping heart, created a kind of symphony from my internal workings, glorious but subtle music which I had never before imagined.

Roaring thunder split my eardrums. Then there was another sensation, a kind of prickly feeling. In another second I had identified it. It was heat. I was heating up. But somehow it was more than heat. There was an energy to it, a raw power at its core. It was a thoroughly invigorating heat. And as the lightning flashed I recognized it. I was growing. At last, I was growing.

The heat increased and as it did I could feel each individual hair on my body stand up. I watched the skin form goose pimples, detecting each little pinch of skin as it pushed its way up, like every particle of me was slowly waking up and stretching, getting ready for the work ahead. I could feel little sparks going off in every cell, charging them with vitality. It was almost as it the dazzling blazes of light punctuating the atmosphere outside were fueling me.

As I grew warmer, the thumping of my heart and the swishing of my breath were joined by another sound, the sound of the sweat rushing out of my pores. It was like a small tide was coming in. Cooling little tidal pools of perspiration began forming all over my body, on my chest, on my back, on my stomach, under my arms. Some of it was moistening my skin and cooling me down, but most of it I could feel being sucked up by my clothing. My brilliant blue t-shirt was growing dark patches all over it, causing it to stick to my body in several places. The sensation was like a thin, clinging second layer of skin was adhering to the first.

Lighting lit up the room, as the first wave of bone-searing ecstasy hit, beginning at my core and expanding outward. I felt every cell come alive in joy and vibrate with power. And every beat of my heart and every breath I drew seemed to magnify it, giving it more, satiating every cell with vigor. I could almost hear my body humming. And my heart, growing more powerful with each deafening beat, began forcing more blood through my veins. I could feel a sucking sensation in my bones as the new blood was being drawn from my marrow and forced into my arteries. Soon my veins began to feel like pressure hoses. I looked down at my forearms, and as the pressure increased, I began to see the veins rise up, swollen and pulsing. They looked like a nest of snakes writhing under my skin, swelling, growing ever thicker, covering my arms like overgrown vines.

The storm’s rumblings seemed to shake the room as still more and more blood was being fed into my system. Now I could feel it gorging my muscles. And like the veins before them, I could feel the pressure building in them. At first it was subtle, like the pump you feel after strenuous lifting, but it continued to increase. I could hear the blood pumping in my ears, a rapid rhythmic pounding. I could feel the tension building under my skin, building and building, then increasing some more, forcing my muscles to their limit. The pressure was nearly unbearable. Any second I thought they would explode. But instead they grew. I heard the sound of rapid popping, like muffled popcorn on speed as I started to expand. And as they enlarged, I could feel the thickening hardness of my body straining against the smooth cotton of my shirt. I heard the first thread snap, unnaturally magnified, like a thunder clap, then another and another. The seams under my arms were the first to burst, letting in a flood of cool air and refreshing my sweat soaked skin. I felt my muscles growing larger and stronger by the second.

I could feel the blood pounding in my back, driven by the insanely powerful pump that my heart had become.

BaBumpBaBumpBaBump. The pressure pushing, shoving out, forcing my back to grow broad slabs of muscle, which tore and rended their way out of my shirt. I felt the chill of the night air wafting across the broadening expanse of my damp, bare skin. I became lost in the feeling of tremendous power that was now fanning out behind me. And still it grew wider.

My chest, still heaving, struggling to pull in enough oxygen to satisfy my heart’s relentless need, began feeling the pump. I could feel the strength in it surge as it swelled out further with each gasping breath. I could feel the pressure at work on my pecs, the blood filling them, making them hard, making them strong, and pushing the flesh to its limits before they were ultimately forced to expand and grow even stronger. Threads snapped, cloth tore, as gaps, like volcanic fissures, opened up across the front of my shirt, ripping longer and wider until my striated, pulsing pecs finally erupted from it like boulders of molten rock. The sensation of strength was overwhelming. And still they grew thicker and more powerful.

Outside the storm became more violent, but it couldn’t compete with the tempest inside my skin. My shoulders began to throb, growing rock hard with power, exploding out of their light cotton covering, and bringing final destruction to the last shreds of my shirt. And as they continued to swell to the size of cannonballs I could hear a sound like straining wood as my shoulders grew broader, thrusting outward on either side of my thickening neck, and fundamentally altering the shape of my torso. And as my frame widened, I could feel all the muscles, tendons and sinews racing to fill the new space, competing with each other, claiming their territory and then expanding, swelling to unbelievable proportions, making me huge, with a feeling of physical power that was truly mind blowing.

As the hugely powerful muscles in my limbs continued to grow and bulge, they pushed on my bones forcing them to lengthen, causing the same stretching sounds and sensations to run through my legs and arms as I grew taller. I thrust a foot forward to keep from falling over as my center of gravity shifted, keeping pace with the constant increases in height and mass.

Electric explosions rended the air, threatening to bring down the roof.

BaBumpBaBumpBaBump; my heart beat stronger, faster, untiring. I was almost overcome with a burning heat; sweat was flooding out of every pore. My arms were aflame in a furnace of ecstasy. They had already grown large. And now, covered in a net of swollen, pulsing veins, blood continued to pound into them, overfilling them, making them iron. And then, as if under some unseen blacksmith’s hammer, my arms began to re-form. With each pump of my heart, they swelled up more, out, around, bulging out in every direction. I looked down at my forearms. Muscles I had previously only seen in anatomy books were rising up from under my skin and stretching out, all the time growing thicker and heavier. I flexed and watched my bicep swell, the old peak swallowed up by the mountainous orb my upper arm had become. The pressure doubled. It reshaped itself, grew some more, and then a new, larger peak exploded out of it, only to be swallowed up and reform again as my body continued to glut itself with sheer mass.

BaBumpBaBumpBaBump. And that creaking stretching sound and feeling wracked my entire frame as it struggled to accommodate the immense bulk that was erupting out all over it. And as I watched my body explode with muscle I felt an incredible sense of power. Yes, this was what I had wanted. This was what I had been hoping for. No one was ever going to fuck with me again!

And I felt the pressure in my legs, perhaps more intensely there than anywhere else. Those baggy cargo pants started to balloon out as they filled with something far more substantial than air. As I looked I could see my thighs and other titanic leg muscles pressing outward, outlined in perfect clarity beneath the straining cloth. And with each heartbeat they grew, straining and stressing the cloth, finally shredding it, tearing their way to freedom.

And then my heartbeat slowed and the pressure eased and I realized my growth was coming to an end. As my breath returned to normal, I realized that the effects of the brownie had worn off, burned away in the fires of change that had consumed my body.

I looked at myself in the mirror and was in awe. Not so much by my height, I figured I had to be about six feet tall now, hardly the gigantic stature I had been aiming for. No, what really took my breath away was my girth. I was massive. Enormous, bulging muscles were piled on top of each other, overlapping, layering, twisting around each other. It was hard to tell where one group stopped and another began. I had to be twice as wide at the shoulders as I used to be. I looked and felt like a tank, as though I was encased inside layer upon layer of hardened muscle armor.

I reached down and tore off my shredded pant legs, turning them into shorts and giving myself a good view of my legs at the same time. They almost didn’t look human. They looked like they might belong to some prehistoric creature. My enormous thighs were bulging outwards, forcing their way up through layers and layers of lesser muscles, each of them looking as though they might burst right out of my skin.

I wanted to confirm my height so I took a step toward the measuring strip. Movement was a completely different experience. Floorboards creaked below me. My body now had a ponderous weight to it. It took effort to move it and then more effort to stop it. But all the effort was more than made up for by the incredible strength my limbs now had at their command.

I quickly measured myself. Yup. I was almost exactly six feet, the same height as Geoff. But that’s where the resemblance stopped. When you looked at Geoff’s body, you saw strength, speed and agility. When you looked at me, only one word was telegraphed: POWER, all in caps and with plenty of exclamation points. I looked like I could lift a bus. And frankly, I was half tempted to run outside, find one and see.

I heard a soft rustle. It was coming from the closet. Someone was in there! I marched over to the door and yanked it open. At least that’s what I meant to do. What I actually did was rip the door off its hinges and send it flying across the room where it crashed into my desk, destroying everything on top of it, before toppling to the floor. Whoa.

And there was Joe, trying to hide at the back of my nearly empty closet. It wasn’t working.

“What the fuck, Joe?” I bellowed, and took a step toward him.

He screamed.

It wasn’t a particularly long scream, or a loud one, but suddenly I realized I was one huge, pissed off, motherfucker who had just ripped a door off its hinges. And it was just possible I was scaring the living crap out of my brother. It cooled my anger immediately.

“I’m not going to hurt you, bro,” I said. “I just want to know why you’re hiding in the closet.”

“I wanted to see you grow,” he said, white faced.

“And just how did you know I was going to grow?” I pressed him.

“Oh, come on,” he said, gaining back some of his composure. “All that meat you ate? You didn’t want me moving back in until tomorrow? Asking us not to bother you for the rest of the evening so you can study? Let me remind you that I only look stupid.”

Jesus, was I that obvious? “I guess you got me. You do look pretty stupid.” We both laughed at that and the tension dissolved. “Why did you want to see me grow? I thought you were over that stuff.”

“If you mean that starry eyed, weak in the knees stuff, yeah, I’m over it. But, dude that growth shit is fuckin’ hot.”

It was then I noticed he was hiding something behind his back. “What have you got back there,” I asked.

“Nothing.”

Now, I knew it was something. “Come on, let me see.”

“I don’t think so.”

I moved closer so that I filled the closet door.

“Ok,” he said.

Wow. If this had been last week, I would have had a ten minute argument on my hands. It sure came in handy being two inches taller than him and about twice his weight. He pulled his hand out from behind his back and I could not fucking believe what he was holding.

“Is that the video camera?”

He nodded.

“Did you shoot me?”

“Uh, no. I just sort of found it while I was waiting in here and--Okay even I wouldn’t believe that. Yeah, I shot you.”

“Why the fuck would you do that?”

“Are you kidding? You should have seen yourself, shirt ripping, muscles bulging.”

“I did see myself. I was there. Remember?”

“Yeah, but you didn’t have my view. I got a great shot of your front growing in the mirror while your back bulked out right in front of me.”

“That’s fucking fantastic. Now give me the disc.”

“Why? You’ll just throw it in a drawer or destroy it or something.”

“So? What were you going to do with it?”

“Oh, I don’t know. YouTube?”

“No fucking way! That was one of the most intensely personal things I’ve ever gone through. You’re not putting it out there for billions of strangers to see.”

“Ok, ok, if YouTube’s too big for you, I know a smaller site, musclegrowth.org. That’s all they talk about there. They’d go nuts over this.”

“You are not putting that video on the internet.”

“Yeah? Who’s going to stop me?”

I let out a low guttural growl.

“Ok, stupid question.”

And then the lights went out.

“What the fuck?” cried Joe.

“It’s just the storm,” I said. “A transformer must have blown.”

“There’s a flashlight in the kitchen,” he said as he made is way toward the door. I followed after.

“I can’t see a thing,”

“That’s ’cause it’s dark, Joe.”

“I don’t like the dark.”

“Which explains why you moved into the basement.”

Suddenly there was a loud thud as I crashed into the door frame. My shoulders were too broad to fit through it now. I had to slightly angle myself.

“Hey watch it, bro,” said Joe. “You don’t want to wreck all our doors.”

“Why? Afraid you’ll run out of places to hide?”

“What is it with you? Did the attitude come with the muscles, or what?”

“Oh no. I had this attitude long before the muscles.”

“Yeah, but that growling thing was new. When did you start growling at people?”

“This was the first time. I thought it was pretty effective, didn’t you?”

“If you call scaring your brother into pissing his pants effective, I’d have to agree.”

“Oh, that explains the smell.”

“You know, I think I liked you better when I could kick your—” He trailed off.

“You want to finish that sentence?”

“Not really.”

And then we were in the kitchen. The street lights were out, too, so there was practically no light at all in the house, just the occasional flash of lightning. Joe felt his way toward the drawer and opened it but the flashlight was gone.

It was at that moment we heard the scream from the family room. It was Kelsey. We both headed toward it at the same time. Joe ran smack into me, bounced off and went sprawling on the floor. I made it to the door but my shoulders crashed into the frame and I fell over backwards. Then the two of us were scrambling to our feet. I decided to let Joe go first, so we wouldn’t collide again, but it looked like he had made the same decision.

“You first,” he said.

“No, that’s ok, you go.”

“Are you kidding me? What if it’s something dangerous? What if it’s a guy with a gun?”

“I’m not bullet proof, Joe.”

“Are you sure? Have you tried?”

I shook my head. “I’m going in.” I stepped through the door and Joe followed, sheltering behind me.

“Kelsey?”

“Oh thank God,” came her voice from by the window. She had the flashlight and was shining it outside. “I thought I saw someone out there, someone big.” She turned, hit me with the flashlight beam and started screaming at her lungs out. I was standing there practically naked, wearing noting but shredded cargo pants, with larger than life muscles bulging out of my muscles. I took a step toward her to try and calm her down and she threw a book at me.

“It’s ok, Kelsey,” I said, both hands raised, palms forward. “It’s just me. I grew again. That’s all.” I guess I wasn’t very effective, because she started throwing other things at me, books, plates, whatever she could get her hands on. Nothing really hurt, but she was breaking a lot of stuff.

“Jesus, Kelsey, will you stop. It’s just me.”

“Why don’t you growl at her?” came Joe’s voice from behind me. Then Joe stepped out and went over to Kelsey. When she saw him she grabbed onto him for dear life.

“It’s ok,” he said. “He won’t hurt you. He’s just our monstrous big brother. He may look a little scary--Ok, he looks a lot scary, but he’s harmless. I’m almost sure he is.”

“Thanks a lot, Joe.”

“Hey, I’m here for you, bro.”

And then the lights came back on and Kelsey got a really good look at me.

“Is it really you?” asked Kelsey.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“Wow, you really grew this time.”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe you should put some clothes on.”

“I don’t think anything fits any more. Where’s Mom and Dad?”

“They went food shopping. We were getting pretty low, since you ate all our dinners for the next three nights.”

“Oh yeah.” Did I feel guilty? You betcha. “I think maybe I’m going to need to get some clothes. I can’t really go to school like this.”

“Why not?” asked Joe. “That would be awesome! The teachers would all shit themselves.”

“Yeah, and then they’d throw me out. We have this little thing called a dress code. Essentially, it means you have to actually wear clothes to school; and I don’t think this qualifies.”

“I’d like to see them try to suspend you.”

“Well, I wouldn’t, which means I need to get some clothes.”

Kelsey checked her watch. “It’s still only eight-thirty, and most stores are open until nine.”

“Yeah, but I can’t walk around a store like this.”

“That’s easy,” said Joe. “I’ll go.”

“How are you going to get there?” I asked. “You’re not going to ride your bike at night in the rain.”

“Mom and Dad only took one car. I’ll drive.”

“Not without a license, you won’t. I’ll drive. But you’ll have to go into the store for me.”

“I’m coming too,” said Kelsey.

“Ok,” I said, “but we’d better hurry.”

Mom and Dad kept a stash of emergency cash hidden under the sink. It was a couple of hundred dollars and I felt a little guilty taking it, but I was pretty sure they would understand.

Naturally my feet had blown up with the rest of me and my dad’s sneakers no longer fit me. Fortunately, I still had Geoff’s clown shoes from two days ago. They weren’t big on me anymore. In fact, in anything, they were a little narrow.

It was getting kind of cold. Joe and Kelsey threw on their jackets but I had to make do with a blanket. We rushed out to the car. They climbed right in, but it wasn’t that straight forward for me. I practically didn’t fit behind the steering wheel. My chest was way too broad and my legs were too long. Mom must have been the last one to drive it. As I was squeezing in I could hear the shocks screeching as the car’s body sank toward the pavement. Once I was inside, I had to push the seat back, readjust the way I held my arms, and alter the rear and side view mirrors.

“Are you done with the preflight check or what?” asked Joe.

“I just want to get us there safely.”

“Dude, you might look like King Kong, but you drive like grandma. Just fire her up, throw her in gear and let’s get the flock out of here.”

“I’ll go when I’m ready and not before.”

Joe sighed explosively and threw his hands in the air.

When I was as comfortable as I was likely to become, I started the engine and I drove out onto the street.

“Take a right, here,” said Joe.

“Why? The mall’s down Sycamore Street.”

“Yeah, but Target’s just around the corner.”

“We’re not going to Target.”

“Why? It’s closer.”

“We’re not going to Target.”

“But—”

“Just don’t ask, ok? I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Is it just me, or is he getting grouchier as he gets bigger?”

“I don’t know,” answered Kelsey, “but I think it’s just you.”

“Yeah? Who asked you anyway?”

“You did!” said Kelsey and I, simultaneously. And that was enough to keep Joe quiet for the rest of the trip to the mall.

I drove into the parking lot and picked a spot as far in back as possible; some place where there were no other cars around.

“Hey, do you suppose we could park in the same county as the mall?” asked Joe.

“I don’t want anyone seeing me like this.”

“What? No one’s going to bother you. And if they do, just growl at them. They’ll get the idea. I know I did.”

“You’re never going to let the growl-thing go, are you?”

“Not till the day I die.”

“Which is getting closer every second.”

“Oh, now we get to the witty physical threats.”

“Will you guys stop?” said Kelsey. “You’re giving me a headache.” I felt instantly guilty. Here Joe and Kelsey were doing me a huge favor and I was being a selfish prick.

“Ok,” I said. “I’ll pull closer.”

“Thank you,” said Joe.

I started the car and pulled to end of a row of parked cars. “This is as close as I’m getting.”

“It’ll do,” said Joe and he and Kelsey climbed out of the car and made their way quickly through the parking lot and into the mall. At least the rain had stopped.

I sat in the car and noticed how quiet it suddenly was. I was alone for the first time since my growth spurt—actually, since Joe had been hiding in the closet, it was apparently the first time I had been alone since before my spurt. And, I have to say I was more than a little curious about my body. I cautiously looked out the all the windows. It didn’t look like there was anyone around, so I dropped the blanket. From this position, sitting in the car, all I could really see were my arms and chest. They seemed to fill all the space around me. As I looked at them I could see the muscle fibers under my skin. I didn’t appear to have an ounce of fat on me anywhere. I flexed as well as I could in the confined space. I looked and felt massively powerful. I found myself wondering about lifting the bus again. Well, there weren’t any buses around but I was pretty sure I knew where I could find a car.

I pulled the blanket around me again and popped open the door. I took another quick look around. The coast looked clear. I maneuvered myself out of the car—not the easiest thing. It was pretty obvious Detroit didn’t have people of my dimensions in mind when they designed my mom’s car. I heard the shocks squeak with relief as I set foot on the pavement and the car rose about five inches. I looked furtively around. I seemed to have this part of the parking lot to myself. There were a couple of people walking to their car about three rows over, but no one in the immediate area. I made my way to the back of the car. I remembered what they taught us about lifting with your legs and I squatted down keeping my back straight. I hooked my hands under the car and lifted. It didn’t budge. I lifted harder. Still nothing. I tried again, much harder. I could feel my face turning red and the veins standing out on my neck. But then it stated to budge. Slowly, it was lifting off the ground. What a rush! I was lifting a fucking car! And suddenly I heard a rending, twisting, popping sound as the bumper tore off in my hands and the car dropped back to the ground. I half stood up and then fell over backwards from the sudden release of the weight.

As I lay there on my back on the pavement with my mom’s bumper clutched in my hand, I couldn’t help thinking about how much fucking trouble I was going to be in when I got home. Of course Joe and Kelsey chose this exact moment to come back.

“Whatcha doin down there, big guy,” asked Joe.

“Nothing.”

“You tried to lift the car, didn’t you?”

“No.”

“Oh? In that case we must have just missed an epic battle with the notorious bumper thief. Glad to see you came out on top.”

“Shut up,” I said pushing off the bumper and pulling myself to my feet. “Do you think this will fit in the back?”

“If we roll down a window. Kelsey, you don’t mind riding with the bumper do you?”

“I guess not.”

I opened the back door and slid the bumper in, opening a window so it partially hung out.

“Now, what did you get me?”

As Joe handed me the bag, I couldn’t help but see Kelsey bury her head in her hands. What did that mean? In a second I found out.

I pulled out the shirt first. It was striped, lime green and fuchsia.

“You have got to be kidding.”

“I tried to tell him,” said Kelsey.

“What’s the matter? Don’t you like it?” asked Joe.

“Are you serious? No one would like this. It would be like liking Mondays. Take it back.”

“I can’t take it back. The store’s closed.”

“He’s right. We were the last ones there.”

“I can’t wear this; I’d rather go naked.”

“Now, we’re talking.”

“Shut up, Joe. No wonder Mom still buys your clothes.”

“Try it on,” he said.

“I guess I don’t have any other choice.” I’d like to say I pulled the thing on but it was more like I coated myself in it. It was a muscle shirt, for God’s sake. I don’t know what it was made from, but it clung to me like a second skin and left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

“There’s not much difference between wearing this and going naked. Except naked, people might still think I have taste.”

“Now the pants,” said Joe, eagerly. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I reached into the bag and pulled out a pair of salmon pink shorts. I laughed out loud. “These aren’t pants, they’re shorts. It’s the middle of fucking October! Who wears shorts in the middle of October?”

“No one,” said Joe. “You can start a trend.”

“Joe, you remember earlier when I promised not to hurt you? Well, I’m seriously reconsidering my position.”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Joe,” you can beat the crap out of me later. Right now, let’s see how you look in those shorts.”

“I guess they’re better than rags, though not by much.” I got into the passenger seat and proceeded to change my tattered cargo shorts for the salmon ones. I was actually shocked to discover they fit fine. And I was extremely gratified to discover my underwear was still plenty big enough. But salmon shorts? And with that shirt? Under any other circumstances I wouldn’t have been caught dead in them. But right now, I didn’t really have a choice.

I got out of the car and Joe actually applauded.

“Just get in the car,” I said. “We’d better get home. Mom and Dad’ll be worried.”

“Until they see the bumper,” said Joe, “then they’ll be mad.”

“Thank you so much for reminding me. Now if we could please get going?”

Joe hopped in the front seat.

“Why don’t you let Kelsey sit in front?” I asked.

“Because that would put me in back with the bumper.”

“My point exactly.”

“I don’t want to sit with the bumper.”

“Joe, get in the back, or I will put you there, and I won’t be as gentle as I was with the bumper.”

“Oh, man!” cried Joe, climbing out of the front seat. “Those muscles are making you very hard to live with.”

Joe climbed into the back but he was forced to sit hunched over. Kelsey, on the other hand, was all smiles as she climbed in the front. “Thank you,” she said as she gave me a peck on the cheek. Joe just glowered in the back.

I started the car and drove out of the parking lot. But I didn’t get two blocks before I saw the flashing lights of a police car in my rear view mirror.

“See, Joe,” I said. “If you had been driving we’d have been in real trouble.”

Joe didn’t say anything. He just scowled as I pulled over. When the policeman tapped on my window, I already had my license and registration ready.

“Was I speeding?”

“Your rear license plate is missing.”

“No, it’s not,” yelled Joe. “It’s back here.” He was pointing to the severed bumper.

“Well, son, the law says it needs to be on the outside of the car.” He turned to me. “May I see your license and registration?”

I handed them straight over. He took it from me and looked at it. Then he looked at me, then back at my license, then back at me. “Son, could you step out of the car?”

“Why? What’s the problem officer?”

“Just step out of the car, please.”

I opened the car and stepped out. I felt kind of stupid in my get up but I didn’t think he could arrest me for that.

“Is this your license?”

“Yes.”

“Five foot six? One hundred and thirty five pounds?”

Oh, shit.

“Ah, I had a growth spurt?”

“And I suppose your eyes just spontaneously changed color.”

Oh, hell.

“Yes?”

“Son, you want to turn around and face the car?”

I did.

“Place your hands on the hood.”

Holy crap, this guy was going to arrest me! He was patting me down.

“Place your hands behind your back.” I did, and almost before I realized it, the cop was cuffing me. He then questioned Joe and Kelsey, neither of whom had any ID at all.

“I think we’ll all go down to the station until you decide to tell me exactly who you are and how you came by this license.”

And with that he bundled Joe, Kelsey and me into the back of his car. I was the only one handcuffed. I guess just riding in the car with me wasn’t a crime.

Joe was staring at me angrily. “Gee, I’m sure glad you were driving, otherwise we might have been in real trouble.”

“Shut up, Joe.”

And to my amazement, he did, all the way to the police station.

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