Fortune Favors the Bold 2
by jobberinnyc
The second scroll... in which prayers are said and answered. the hero is plagued by a blackness of spirit and the past is brought to light....
I had prayed to the gods for some type of relief as the wind grew even more fierce and the snow whipped around my face, freezing the insides of my nose. The mead hall was godssent and though I had to shout to make myself heard over the howls of the air, you finally turned to see the smoke from the fireplace over the horizon. When I became stuck in a pile of cold snow you carried me through the heavy drifts towards the door. The old woman watched with what I thought was a kind face as I asked for lodging through the storm. In truth, though, my eyes were so covered in snow, and blinded by the white outside that she may have scowled and I wouldn't have noticed. You were quiet by my side as we climbed the stairs, as the boy lit the fire in our room, as he brought hot water to dump in the iron tub. I could see in his eyes almost the same look on my face when I first saw you. Awe. But there was no lust there. Just wonder as your hugeness stood in the center of the room. When he left, you gave me neither help, nor resistance as I stripped you of your boots, your breeches, your cloak, until you stood in the room, dripping from the melting snow caught in your hair. I soaked some rags with the hot water he'd brought and rubbed your limbs. It was hard work, rubbing warmth back into your body. Your height, your mass. Your arms resisted me with their own power as I tried to rub the fires of life back into the muscle. I could feel the vein that ran down your arm pulsing with life. Your eyes were empty and, I will confess, that scared me. I had not seen you so, since the year the plague almost claimed you. You lay in the bed for months on end as I forced you to eat, sometimes forcing you to breathe. I begged and pleaded and wept. I cried and applied salves and potions to your hairy chest trying to loosen whatever clogged your lungs. There were nights I didn't sleep at all, thinking I wanted to be there at the end of your days and praying the end was far away.
I brought you to the bed, and pulled the blankets over you, watching you as you closed your eyes.
I undressed myself and lay down in the iron tub trying to warm myself. The spring after the plague left you, you came to me early one morning, and told me you would be releasing me from my servitude. That I would be one of the freemen. I had never anticipated such a thing and I wept that night that you would no longer need me or want me by your side. That I would never again share your bed. Hear your laugh. Watch you as you undressed each night. Marvel at your size. Your strength. Feel you heft me over your shoulder or arm as a normal man would a child. Though I feared that day, I had realized it would come as inevitable as any parts of life's journey. You would not always need a squire. You would one day search, as all men do, for an equal. And, though I could love you no more if you were a part of me, I knew I could never be your equal.
I kept my tears and worries to myself as you were just recovering, which is why the day you freed me, I was surprised at your announcement of a journey. You loaded our horses and we set out for a night and a day. The destination surprised me and I spoke for almost the first time on our journey.
"The temple of love my leige? I had not thought the goddess to be your patron."
"She is a patron of all of us." Your smile was cryptic but you said no more as you asked the priestesses for lodging. They welcomed us, as they did all pilgrims to their hearth. We were put in separate rooms, and after the sun had set and our bellies were full of food and drink I found myself unable to sleep. I wrapped the silk sheathe around myself and padded the temple hallways. I saw two young noviates wrapping flowers around a wreath and giggling between themselves as they did. The moonlight struck them, making them look innocent and sweet and I wondered if, one day, you would take a bride like this.
I wandered further into the temple, stopping to pray to a statue of the goddess. I heard a small laugh behind me and turned to see a tall woman with hair the color of an autumn sunset. She wore only a thin sheet of silk around her waist and her breasts were full and round. I realized she was the temples main priestess and I accorded her the same respect I would have a priest I had studied the omens with. She laid her hand gently on my head and instructed me to rise.
"You are a guest in my home. If anyone should kneel, it should be me." I rose and looked at her. Truly she had been blessed by the goddess at birth. She was a beautiful woman and I caught myself staring at her bosom. She smiled again and led me to a bench near the periphery of the room. The room was set up so that the moonlight hit the statue of the goddess, making her seem ready to spring to life. "Was your journey peaceful?"
"It was, thank you." We sat in silence, not uncomfortably so, until I turned to face the statue and spoke quietly to her. "May I ask you a question?"
"Of course. I am here to comfort those who need to feel love."
"How do I..how do I lie with a man so that he will want to come to me again?"
Her smile was cryptic but not unkind. "I have seen you are different than most of the men who come here seeking solace. Your eyes do not turn to my body with desire, merely curiousity. This is rare, but nothing to feel shame about."
"I'm not ashamed of my desires, my lady. Merely anxious that... my bed shall be empty soon. That thought frightens me."
"What frightens you is that he will not wish to share your bed anymore."
"Yes." I blinked back the tears, as I imagined you ordering me to leave your bed.
"If he has shared your bed all this time, there is no need to believe he will not continue to do so." He hands were gentle on my face. "I wish merely to understand him."
Her laugh was clear as the streams of my childhood. "That then, is your first trial. Men do not wish to be understood. Merely to be accepted unconditionally for who they are." Her hands rested gently on my face, cooling the flesh. "When you touch him, do not seek in it form of understanding, seek in it his pleasure." She rose and again touched my head. "I give the same advice I give all others. Pray to the goddess for love is the most powerful force in the universe. All who feel it fall before its force like reeds in a wind. No matter how strong they are."
She left as silently as she had come and I felt suddenly tired from the journey.
As the sun rose the next morning two of the young noviates brought me a formal robe to wear and helped me dress as I wondered what was happening. They led me before the statue and you stood there in your own robes in front of the statue, the priestess standing there. The union of our lives was simple, and as the red cloth tied our hands together, binding us for life, you told me you were mine forever. And I was yours. It both thrilled and frightened me the knowing that your death would be mine. Perhaps not in literal terms, but you passing would leave a gaping part of me empty. I prayed to the goddess that I should go before you and wait for you with a warm cloak and polished sword in the afterlife.
I had already used what energy I had left within me to warm the water in the iron tub twice when there was a timid knock on the door. I have lost much modesty since I have known you, but I still wrapped myself as best I could before I answered the door. The boy was there with two huge bowls of broth, slices of bread and cheese and some meats. I thanked him for his kindness and closed the door on him, latching it behind me. I put the food on the table, and knowing you were not asleep sat by your side on the bed. "My lord. You must eat."
"Why?" Your voice was labored and not friendly.
I answered confusedly. "Because you must regain your strength." You reached out and gripped my wrist, encircling it with a paw the size of a bear or lion. "No. Why do I suffer so? Why have the gods blessed me with gifts, only to leave me empty inside?" Your grip tightened and I could feel the bones under my flesh bend and shift within your rough hand. It was cold to the touch. I must have cried out in pain for you immediately let me go. "I am sorry lifemate. You see? Even you I hurt. I must be careful every time I touch you, lest I break you in my hands. Even the passion that roars through my veins for you must be denied, unless I wish to hurt you like so much kindling. I must restrain myself from taking you as roughly as I wish. As you wish. I would hurt you and nothing would be as painful as hurting you."
You did not cry, indeed, you never did, but I could feel the black cloud of sadness as surely as if it was as solid as the blanket covering your massive body. I laid my hand flat against the steep slope of your chest, watching as the thick hair poked through the spaces between my fingers. "There is no gift, my leige, however small or insignificant it may seem that does not come without cost or obligation." My fingers traced there way through your beard and felt your square jaw beneath it. "Even the sun, which shines from the heavens themselves cause shadows. For every love the goddess grants there is heartbreak and jealousy as their opposite. And for every piece of knowledge gained comes the heartbreak of how that wisdom would have helped us had we known it before. I am yours sire. My life and body belong to you as surely as the sword you own. Should you hurt me I would only consider it an honor to bear the bruises your fingers would put upon me."
You took a moment to consider and nodded slowly, as I had when the teachers had taught me words and letters.
"You are a good man."
"I am what you made me." You lifted me with one hand then, so that my body straddled your own and I could feel your manhood swell beneath me. I licked under your chin, at the line of your beard and your moans vibrated through my tongue. You gripped me tightly around my middle and the breathe was crushed from me, as I gasped. I pulled the blanket out from underneath me and slipped myself between your legs. I felt the coarse hair with my hands as I took your manhood into my mouth and felt your body relax as my tongue licked you. Your back arched, lifting me bodily into the air as easily as I would have lifted a book and I bounced, letting you slip from between my lips as I landed. I attacked your body again, licking your thighs, kissing them and feeling your hair between my teeth. When, at last your seed flooded my mouth, I could feel your entire body tense and then relax, as the tension left you at last. You took me again and let me rest against your chest. By the time we woke up the soup was cold and I used what magicks I could to warm it again.