An American Muscleman in London 6

Read previous part

The First Full Moon – Continues

I didn’t stay at the pub long after Martin left me to join his friends for dinner. I was feeling a little abandoned – and maybe lonely. Dominic was busy bartending and couldn’t speak to me that often. I needed to go and find a place to eat dinner, myself. I walked to the area of London known as Soho – the densely populated gay area. I was looking for a restaurant called Balans. It was “the” gay place to eat according to many of the travel guides. When I finally found the place and walked in, I knew my whole look screamed “tourist.” I kept forgetting that London is the cultural capital of the world. The men that were casually hanging out in the place looked like they had taken two weeks to prepare their hair, their clothes, and their attitude. Most of them looked like they worked out seven days a week – twenty-four hours a day. I had not felt this self-conscious in a very long time.

The crowd was definitely different than that of “Halfway” (I had picked up that most of the locals called the pub by this name). Everyone at the pub seemed content with himself or herself, not trying to prove anything. They all seemed eager to meet new people. The people at Balans were here to notice other beautiful people, but mostly to be noticed by all the other beautiful people. After putting my name in for a table I walked to the bar and decided to order a martini – certainly that would make me look a little more dashing. I really just wanted a Stella, though.

Deep down I knew the martini did nothing for my image, but I needed to find something to help battle this darkness that seemed to be taking over me. I knew, logically, that I was just having the first pangs of homesickness. My first few days in London had been a whirlwind and now the reality of this drastic change was finally sinking in. I had to admit it – I was very lonely. I looked around and saw what looked like a lot of “first date” couples – and some couples that surely had been together for years. At that moment it felt like all I saw in the whole room was couples. I wanted to be a couple. I found myself wishing that Martin’s dinner party had been that night – not three days away! What was I going to do to make it until then?

Three good-sized sips of the martini had not made me feel better. I decided eating at Balans – especially alone – was not a good idea. I contemplated going back to “Halfway” without having dinner – but decided against it. I didn’t want people to think I had become a fixture there. I asked the host to strike my name from the list, left the restaurant, and started walking home. On the way to my flat I passed a Chinese restaurant that publicized take-a-way (the British version of take out). I grabbed some food and walked the rest of the way to my place. Back at the flat I started feeling a little better.

I decided to make a list of some things I would do in the coming days – to help me lessen my homesickness. The first thing I wrote on the list was “run each day.” I stared at the words on the paper. It was still astonishing to me that I had this urge to run. I contemplated that thought for a while and came to the conclusion that it was a desire for much more than running that burned within me. Upon reflection, I guessed I wanted to be very healthy – my body was responding to something about London and it made me want to get in better shape. The crazy thing, though, was that I wasn’t in bad shape. But I wanted much more for myself for some reason. I tried hard to figure it out and then it hit me – I wanted to train. I was in training. For what I had no idea, but my body was telling me to prepare for something. This resonated so much in me that I underlined “run every day” three times. I decided I would continue what had started today – these long distance runs. I would run to build up my stamina – and when I had that thought a light went off in my mind telling me that I would also need to build up my speed – and my ability to make it through some tests. What tests would these be, I wondered. It must be that my body wanted to be prepared for those times that I would be depressed or lonely. Of course that was it. And I knew there would be many more moments of loneliness. I had known that when I agree to the move.

I smiled to myself since I had figured all of this out. I sat there in silence for a while and then a deeper feeling started to bubble up inside of me – a feeling that said my training was really about something else – something larger than getting myself through lonely times. I just couldn’t figure out what that “bigger something” was – maybe it would be revealed to me later. I decided to return to my list. I ended up writing nine things that I could do in the next few days to help me adjust to my new life in London. Some of the items were just names of places I wanted to visit. One item was that I wanted to make new friends. And the other items were ideas of things to keep me busy. But no item on the list resonated with me as much as running each day. I laughed to myself – maybe I was becoming a jock! If London could accomplish that task, then this city must have some dark powers that no one knew about.

I saw that I had a Big Ben magnet on my refrigerator – left there by the previous tenant, I guess. I took my list and put it there. I would be reminded each day of my commitment to myself – to my quest! I was filled with awareness that this list would be a piece of cake and that other tasks would come my way. My entire body tingled with excitement and anticipation of things to come. I knew I would be fine since I was so energized about the future. I cleaned up my dinner mess, watched a little British television, and then went to bed.

 

That night I had the most vivid dream I ever remember having. I don’t think I had ever experienced anything like it before. The dream unfolded slowly. I don’t remember how it began – but I know that it began in darkness. It was obviously night and as my eyes became accustomed to the darkness, I realized there was a full moon that was providing the only light around me. I became aware that I was standing in the middle of a large field. There was a dense forest surrounding the field on all sides. I was standing there ready – for what, I had no idea. I just knew I was prepared for what was coming. In the distance I could hear thunder – no, it wasn’t thunder. I listened closely and could tell that it was the hooves of horses hitting the ground as they ran. I tried hard - but I could not tell from what direction the sound was coming. The sound was growing louder and louder. I knew these horses were coming closer and closer – but from where? My body instinctively went into a crouching position. I was preparing myself for something – I believe I was preparing myself for battle.

Then, all of the sudden, horses burst through the trees from every direction. They were running full speed into the center of the field where I stood. As they drew nearer I realized there were riders on the horses – and I knew they were knights. There were about fifty of them – or maybe as many as a hundred. I could not tell exactly. The armor of these knights glimmered in the moonlight. The speed of the horses and their motion caused the light to dance all around me. It was breathtaking. It was when the horses got even closer that I realized the knights were not wearing armor. They were not wearing anything at all. What I thought was shining armor was the moon reflected in sweat covered muscles. The moonlight glistened perfectly on the body of each rider - highlighting the bulging mass of every part of their body. The horses began to move faster towards me. I crouched lower and realized that I was nude, as well. My body was on fire with anticipation – but for what I did not know. My instincts told me it was not danger. No, the excitement building in me was not from fear of battle – it was something else. My blood was forcing every part of my body to be fully alert and tense. I was watching, as the beautiful muscled body of each knight got closer. I started turning in a slow circle to let each knight see that I was ready. I was making sure they saw that my body was prepared. Suddenly the men started yelling – it was not words – it was some type of battle cry. But I knew it was not about war. It was about getting ready to conquer something - in a different way. I observed myself in the dream and could not figure out what would be conquered or in what way.

By this time the horses were very near. I could see steam coming from the body of each man. I heard the excitement and power in their voices. I could see something that looked like lust in their faces. I noticed that none of them were armed and for a second this confused me. Right before they were directly upon me I let out an inhuman cry - that drowned out all other noise - and leapt into the air.

 

It is at that moment that I woke from the dream. Bright sunlight streamed into my bedroom. My mouth was wide open and I could hear my yell still echoing in the room. Lying there I could tell my body was on fire with energy again – as it was yesterday. But today the power and the excitement in my body were definitely greater. I sleep in the nude so when I went to push the sheet from my body I found that it was stuck to my stomach and my chest. It dawned on me that I had had a wet dream. The last time I remembered having a wet dream was when I was eleven, or was it twelve. Pulling the sheet from my body was like taking the wrapper off of a piece of candy that had been in your pocket for a long summer’s day. I could not believe the amount of cum that had shot across my stomach - up to the top of my chest. What a powerful dream, I thought – but at that moment I could not remember much about it. All I could recall was the sight of muscled bodies in the moonlight.

I really needed to get a boyfriend, I decided. It was also dawning on me that today would have to be a laundry day

Read next part

CAPTCHA