My Muscle Muse
by Londonboy
Before you judge me, make sure you hear my entire story first. I know some of the prudes out there are going to immediately condemn me – without even listening to what has made me become the man I am and that will be a shame since there are always two sides to every story. I’m not a bad person, really, I just have always wanted things that I thought were never possible – and then suddenly they were. I may be weak when it comes to certain opportunities, but I am definitely not an evil man. I promise. But, as usual, I’m not making much sense. Let’s see if I can come clean in a way that will prevent you from packing me off to hell too quickly.
My name is Frank . . . Frank Spitz and I am fifty-one years old. I’ve been divorced for almost twenty years and I have three incredible children, as well as a wonderful ex-wife. I’m sure you’re saying, “So what’s the big deal?” Well, hang on, there’s more to the story. It has a lot to do with what I’m doing right now. I’m in a nice gym in the heart of Paris and I’m working out. I’ve been lifting intensely for about seven years now and it’s kind of become an obsession. I actually stumbled into the world of weightlifting and bodybuilding by accident. I had always belonged to a gym, but something just kind of clicked in me when I was forty-four and my body started getting the kind of response usually reserved for nineteen and twenty year olds. I’m not kidding. My muscles just basically blossomed late – it was freaking weird, but awesome. Okay, okay, you’re right – there’s more to the story. It’s hard to figure out where to begin.
Let’s see if I can use what’s happening right now in my life as an example. As I bench the loaded bar resting in my calloused hands I can certainly get a good pump – but it’s nothing to write home about. I’d probably just be a decent looking elderly man, graying at the temples and handsome wrinkles around my eyes if it weren’t for the accidental stimulation that impacted my life so powerfully seven years ago. It has something to do with the inspirational pictures I have plastered all around the state-of-the-art home gym I built in the basement of my brownstone in Manhattan so I could be more focused when I worked out. You see seven years ago I found my muscle muse – I found an image that when visualized it increased my growth in astounding ways. I know, I know, you’re hoping I get to the point soon. Just bear with me, okay? If I focus on an image of my muse or even just think about him while I work out something freaking intense happens and my body explodes in ways I never thought possible. I can even lift heavier weight than a normal guy my size – it’s totally awesome and frightening at the same time. Here, let me see if I can find a better way to tell this story – I think it’s best to start at the beginning.
My son Troy has been best friends with Colin Appleton since third grade. I’ve known Colin’s parents – Marcia and Tom – for that long, as well. Marcia and Tom have always been one of the best looking couples I’ve ever met and, of course, their son grew up to be so incredibly handsome that he began modeling at the age of fourteen and now, at age twenty-seven is one of the highest paid male super models ever. He’s got this penthouse here in Paris, a cooking show on the Food Network, and more endorsements than he knows what to do with. But to top it all off, he’s this incredibly nice guy that everyone – and I mean everyone – loves dearly. There’s not a conceited or mean bone in his body and he’s been that way all of his life. Troy and he are still best friends, even though my son lives in London. Colin has been like one of the family for years and I think that’s what makes this a little harder for some people to accept – but please wait until the end of the story before judging me. I deserve that, at least.
Seven years ago there was a knock on my door around two in the morning. I was still awake working on a project that not only thrilled me tremendously, but it was also due in two days. I became alarmed that it was one of my children at the door, but then I realized they were all either across the ocean or away at college. It then crossed my mind that it might be my wife, but then I remembered that she was out in the Hamptons with her boyfriend. I was baffled until I looked out the side window and saw that it was Colin. I think it’s best if I just replay the scene to you as it happened – to give you a good understanding of how this all began. I opened the door quickly, since it was raining cats and dogs and I saw right away that the poor kid was only wearing a t-shirt and jeans.
“Colin, come in. What the hell are you doing out at this hour. You’re soaked man. Let me get you a towel and some dry clothes.”
He stood on the matt just inside the front door and I could see he was actually shivering. I stepped into the guest bathroom downstairs and grabbed a towe. I came back out and handed it to him and then went to get some sweats and a jersey for the guy. When I returned I could tell the kid had been crying and he seemed quite upset, but he didn’t say a word. He simply dried himself off, changed in the downstairs bathroom, and then looked at me with his gorgeous curly hair – beautiful even after he shoved it around with the towel – and his piercing turquoise eyes that seemed almost alien. His eyes made me think of a very young Aidan Quinn. I simply waited until the guy was ready to talk.
“Can we sit down, Mr. Spitz?”
“Only if you promise to start calling me Frank. I’ve told you that a hundred times.”
“I know, I’m sorry. It’s just so hard to change and I actually like calling you that.”
Something in his answer made me suddenly feel off kilter and I quickly pointed to the den visible off to the right through half open pocket-doors. Colin sat on the sofa near the window – the place where I usually chose to sit – and this forced me to take the large wingback chair near the fireplace. I still knew it was important for me to wait for him to speak – it was clear that he was very upset about something and needed time to sort through it.
“My parents disowned me tonight, Mr. Spitz.”
“What?”
“I told them I liked sleeping with men and they told me they wished I had never been born.”
This was too much for me to process all at one time – first, the fact that Colin Appleton was gay and, secondly, that his parents would disown him over this fact. He was their only child and I’m sure that made this news terribly hard to accept, but his parents were academics, for goodness sake, and were in no way the kind of people to disown their child. I knew for a fact that Tom and Marcia had many gay friends. There was much more to this story and I’m glad that I kept my mouth shut and waited for Colin to think about what he had said.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Spitz, that’s a little histrionic. I’m just upset right now and not thinking straight. I came out to my parents tonight and they told me that even though they loved me they would never wish this kind of lifestyle for me. Can you believe that? They called it a lifestyle – like it’s something equal to choosing to party a lot or practicing a religion. I didn’t just wake up one morning and say, “Hey, I feel like sucking cock today.” Oh shit . . . I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. That was really insensitive and rude of me. I beg your forgiveness, Mr. Spitz.”
“Colin, it’s fine. I can tell you’re upset and not thinking straight . . . oops, sorry – wrong word. I meant it’s hard for you to control your emotions and your thoughts right now. That’s fine. Really. I’m here to listen to you, but I know your parents and I don’t think you’re accurately naming what they felt. Now, don’t get mad at me. I can see it in your eyes. Remember, I’m a father, too.”
“Yeah, but you’re cool.”
“Thank you, Colin, but I’m still a parent and I know a little about what it must feel like to get this kind of proclamation from your child. Tell me a little more about how the conversation went down with your parents.”
“We were having dinner at Gramercy Tavern and I just kind of blurted it out. I’ve been really upset by all this bashing of gay people in the news lately. And since gay people can get married in New York now I thought it was important to tell my parents the truth. We were having a great meal and I just blurted out that I was gay. The conversation stopped immediately and I watched my parents go from understanding intellectuals to close-minded conservatives in mere seconds. The first thing my mom asked was, ‘Are you sure?’ and that really bothered me. Of course I’m sure, Mr. Spitz. I’ve been fretting over this for years. What did she expect?”
“Did it ever occur to you, Colin, that it might take your parents as long to accept this truth as it took you? Maybe even longer.”
My question caught the young man off guard and snapped him completely out of his navel-gazing selfishness. Suddenly, he placed himself in his parents’ shoes and it was overwhelming for the boy. He started sobbing uncontrollably. I quickly moved over to the couch and put my arm around his shoulder – like any caring adult would have done. If I could, however, pinpoint any specific moment for you that completely impacts the rest of the story I am telling you now, it would be that exact minute in time – the instant that I put my arm around Colin’s shoulder and pulled his gorgeous body into my upper torso. I was so overwhelmed with pity for the boy and caught up in his story that I missed the colossal shift that took place in my universe. I had no idea that my life would never be the same. Without any warning and devoid of any provocation from me, Colin suddenly moved his tear stained face up to mine and started pressing his sumptuous lips into mine with a passionate force that completely took me by surprise. I had certainly dabbled in sex with men before – once in high school and a couple of times in college. What normal, healthy, liberal-thinking gentleman hadn’t? The feelings, however, which Colin’s kiss instantly stirred up in my heart, mind, and cock were something very new and extremely exciting. I unconsciously responded to the pleasure by opening my mouth and welcoming the young man’s strong, probing tongue.
As the slippery skillful tool from his mouth forced my throat to widen because of its invasion, the tool between my legs started to lengthen as it filled with mounting juice. Colin ran his thumbnail across one of the hardened nipples poking out through my shirt and a shot of joy ran quickly from the base of my cock in both directions – up to the fat head of my pole and backwards to my puckering asshole. It had been quite a long time since I had been aroused so quickly and the feeling at my backside was completely foreign. I had no idea there could be a direct link between the jutting nub at my chest and the tight cavity hidden between my lower cheeks. The sudden craving for something thick and huge to fill me from behind was so overpowering that I continued to respond to Colin’s advances with no thoughts of consequences or inappropriateness. My body simply yearned for him deeply on some primitive level I had never experienced before. When his nail grazed across my protruding teat again I lost control of my reactions completely and let out a loud and low groan that was more of a growl than anything else. I recognized the sound as a warming my body usually emitted right before I surrendered to my urges and became a man utterly driven by his need to get off. I had learned early in life to never let my body submit to this complete loss of control since it usually got me in a lot of trouble and mostly only came about when I had too much alcohol.
Since I was totally sober and fully functional, the powerful moan actually served as a wake up call from my lustful defeat caused by Colin’s unexpected sexual onslaught. In a flash I returned to being the responsible adult and father of this guy’s best friend. As painful as it was and with much difficulty I pushed the young man’s model perfect body away from mine, noting how my inner self instantly missed his lips and probing tongue when his mouth was gone. I kept my hand against his chest – and I couldn’t tell if was because I watned to keep our bodies apart or if I just needed to continue some kind of contact with all his hotness. The distance from the smoldering young man helped me to regain most of my composure and I took a deep breath hoping it would help soothe my aching cock.
“Colin, this is wrong – terribly wrong – on so many levels.”
“I’ve wanted you since I went through puberty, Mr. Spitz.”
“That may be so and I’m really flattered, Colin, but there are certain urges and . . . um, desires we just shouldn’t act on, you know?”
“Why not, Mr. Spitz. I’ve always felt like you understand me in a way that no one else does. I think we have this deep connection that goes way beyond friendship. Haven’t you noticed the same feelings?”
“No . . . no, I haven’t.”
The pained look on Colin’s face immediately made my heart ache for the boy. I knew he had been deeply hurt already – by his parents – and I truly didn’t want to add to his pain, but he had opened a sort of Pandora’s box inside of me and because of my honest desire to help him with all he was going through I knew I couldn’t take the time right then to analyze my own newly revealed emotions. I also could not continue to make out with the beautiful stud since I was fully aware that it would lead to the kind of sex that broke lamps and carried on wildly for three days non-stop. There was a need to lick every part of his golden body burning so deeply within me that I realized just one more kiss from the boy would make my dick explode like a stick of dynamite with the shortest fuse in history.
“Colin, we need to separate all that’s happening tonight into different . . . um . . . categories, I guess. Let’s come back to these feelings you have for me at a different time, okay. I think it’s best if we sort through what’s happening with your parents first, okay?”
“I’d be in favor of dealing with the issues in the opposite order, Mr. Spitz.”
“I can see that, Colin, but I’m pretty sure that’s not a good idea. I’m going to move back to the chair over there, but I want you to remember that I’m here for you . . . completely.”
“Well, not completely, sir.”
I could tell the boy’s sarcastic laugh that followed his comment was tinged with a little disappointment, but I could also sense that he realized this was the best course of action at the time. I moved back to the chair across the room and crossed my legs to hide the hard-on that still raged uncontrollably. Colin did nothing to disguise or cover up the pleasantly surprising large bulge at his crotch. I forced my eyes not to widen when I first gazed at the big weapon he was clearly packing. To help lessen the sexual tension between us, and to avoid staring at all his deliciousness, I quickly jumped back up and offered to get us both some water. After receiving affirmation that a cool beverage would be good I made my way to the kitchen – taking the time to calm my tensed body by walking around a bit and then filling two glasses with ice and water. When I returned to the den I found that the exhausted Colin had fallen asleep on the sofa. I stood there and gazed upon his beautiful resting body, which then caused me to need both glasses of water to calm my cock down again. I got a blanket and covered the boy and then retired to my own bedroom – making sure I locked the door so there could not be any early morning visitation by my guest.
The next morning I woke up around ten and immediately went downstairs to check on Colin, only to find that he had left. There was a note of thanks lying on the folded blanket resting on the sofa. It merely said, “Thank you, Mr. Spitz. You really helped me. Love, Colin.” After many unanswered calls to the young man’s cell phone, I finally called his parents – who were not surprised to hear that my place had been where Colin had come for comfort – but it was also clear that they had no idea of Colin’s affections for me. I learned that Marcia and Tom had, indeed, been caught off guard by the boy’s announcement and were quite sorry for the way they had handled the conversation. All had been righted, though; at an early breakfast at JFK before Colin left for six month’s work in Paris. They both thanked me for my help and then insisted that I come over later that week for dinner. As I hung up the phone I realized I had unconsciously slid my hand into my sweats as I was talking about Colin and was slowly stroking my morning hard-on. I could tell I was close to ejaculation and immediately stopped all action, withdrew my hand, and waited a few minutes to prevent an accident before I ran upstairs, grabbed my gym bag, and left for a workout. I wanted to avoid beating off as I thought about Colin – the conversation with his parents had definitely re-emphasized the inappropriateness of what I was feeling.
I stayed at the gym for four hours – longer than my past seven visits combined. Every time my mind started drifting toward anything to do with Colin – his lips, his hair, his eyes, his large cock – I jumped wholeheartedly into some exercise to work out the sexual tension in a safe way. My trainer, Jamie, came in for his own workout halfway through my time at the gym and decided to join me. He kept telling me my form was more impeccable than he’d ever seen and that I was doing lifts he had no idea I was capable of. I told him I had recently been inspired and he told me to hone-in on whatever was causing the inspiration because it was definitely going to help me in ways I never imagined. We finished our workout later and I could tell Jamie was worn out. I, however, still had much energy. I knew it was time to quit, though, and I returned home, forcing myself to not think about Colin at all.
I was sorer that evening that I had ever been in my entire life. I couldn’t lift my arms at all – which was a godsend, since it helped me to not jerk off my meat to vivid memories of Colin’s kiss, the way he made my ass feel, and the image of his full crotch. Of course my dreams that night were filled with visions of the boy and had tons of sexual imagery. It wasn’t a restless night, however, and I awoke completely energized and free of all soreness. It was unbelievable. I jumped out of bed with more vigor than I had experienced in years and almost fainted when I looked in the mirror above the sink in the bathroom. The first thing I noticed was that my stomach seemed much more flat - as a matter of fact it looked like the tummy I had when I was in college. It was slightly rippled and my abs were definitely much more prominent. I then saw that my arms had lost all of their flabbiness – especially in the triceps. My upper arms actually looked toned and bulged a little. There was also a new prominence to my pectoral muscles – the once smooth, slightly bumpy surface of my chest now actually poked out a little more. The changes were definitely noticeable and invigorating. I did not connect the improvements to the recent unexpected interplay with the friend of my son, but hindsight makes it very clear that everything stemmed from that fateful night.
My developments in the next three months baffled my trainer completely. He kept saying that he had never seen such a dramatic change in a person in all his years of training. I was packing on muscle as easily as most people changed their outfits each day. I pulled an old weight set down from my attic and set it up in one of the spare bedrooms. I forced myself to workout whenever my mind started to drift toward sexual thoughts about Colin – which was almost always. I would sometimes be reading the morning paper at the kitchen table or a novel in the den and suddenly find myself scraping my thumbnail across my pec and letting it stimulate my nipple into a hardened lump of ecstasy. I continued to marvel at how playing with my nipple could easily jack up other parts of my body – my balls would tense up, my asshole would quiver, my dick would throb, and my muscles seemed to radiate with an energy that was indescribable. I slipped into an acceptance of gay sexual fantasies so easily that looking back on that time period now I can see that it really was my moment of ‘coming out.’ I guess I had been a homosexual for all of my life, but I had suppressed the desires so deeply for so long that it had taken Colin’s abrupt forwardness to awaken everything. All of my life I had chosen to be monogamous in any relationship – from the moment I started dating – and this pattern continued even with my non-existent liaison with Colin. I might have accepted I was gay very easily, but I reserved all of my new and exciting feelings for one man – and only one man. As I tell you this I can see how obsessed my actions seem and I guess that’s somewhat true, but remember that on a deeply subconscious level I sure I sensed all of my changes and new glorious awareness was due to the beautiful man that was now thousands of miles away.