The Phoenix 3: Much More Than Rebirth

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The definition of obsession is pretty easy to comprehend: the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc… A perfect example of that definition in reality was my approach to working out. I had a one-track mind from the moment Derek showed me my first set of exercises, partly because of what I saw happening to the bulges on his body as he hefted the poundage. Also, lifting weights helped me to escape everything in my life I wanted to ignore, while it infused me with an energy I had never felt before. The gym became like a place of refuge for me, my Mecca. I was so sore the first week after my initiation to weights that some days I could barely put my shirt on by myself and sometimes I couldn’t walk down one flight of stairs without screaming loudly from the pain. I took every suggestion from Derek as if it were thunderous orders from some muscled deity sitting on a huge throne in the clouds – throwing lightning bolts of information at me to make sure I got things right. I started getting to the gym at five in the morning and working out for two hours, but I also bought some state-of-the art weights for my house. In the evening Derek and I would do a FaceTime workout together for another hour and a half, him showing me specific moves for all the appropriate muscle groups. I learned terms for body parts and names of specific exercises that were once as foreign to me as a different language, but I also quickly became fluent in all things pertaining to muscle talk. On more than one occasion Derek referred to me as the perfect muscle pig, a term that made my cock twitch joyously. I was a diligent student and my big friend ended up being the best coach a newbie could ask for. He encouraged me and guided me like a pro. We both worked hard to make my new body a special way we could honor the memory of Chance.

Derek also guided another aspect of my new life as the guy happy to be a muscle pig. He suggested that I not sit down and read all of Chance’s stories in one fell swoop – something I was tempted to do. He decided to be my librarian and each night, when we were done working out and I was too tired to do anything else, he would give me the name of one story or the chapter of a story and I was allowed to devour it online before going to bed. Because my newly realized obsession for muscles equaled my uncontrollable desire for working out I always ended each evening’s reading with a big cum explosion. The combination of seeing Derek’s big sweaty muscles on the computer screen, pumping blood into my own growing muscles, and the incredible creativity and pornographic masculine images Chance wrote in his stories just ended up being too much for me. After only six days of working out I confessed my end of the night eruptions to Derek and he surprised the hell out of me when he replied he did the same thing. He also added that he had read Chance’s stories hundreds of times, but the thought of me reading them for the first time brought a certain freshness to every story for him, as well. I did not, however, tell him that watching his muscles working out on the screen helped to encouraged my ejaculation as much as the stories. I did believe there should be some boundaries in our budding online relationship.

It was becoming evident that I had a major ‘man crush’ on my big new friend – even after only one month of our rigorous routine. Looking back I can see it had to do with so many different factors – my loneliness, getting over such a great loss, his gentleness, and, of course, his huge body, but at the time I just knew I truly desired the guy in an uncontrollable way. I worked hard not to show my childish infatuation, but it was getting more and more difficult. One evening we were sharing a beer over the Internet after a particular grueling workout and I found myself staring at his still heaving body as he lifted the pint glass to his mouth. I loved looking at how his arm would swell up huge when it was bent. I couldn’t wait for the day that mine would do the same, but I also couldn’t wait for the day when I could lick his giant mounds of hard flesh. When my cock started turning as hard as the beer bottle in my hand I forced myself to look away, hoping he wouldn’t notice my embarrassment. If he did know about my crush he chose to say nothing about it. I appreciated his obvious respect for Chance and his incredible kind friendship during what was still a hard time for me.

“So it has been a month, James. I hope you weighed yourself today like I asked. I bet you were surprised because you’ve gained some pounds, instead of losing them. I’d say maybe eight or nine.”

“Yeah, about nine pounds. How did you know?”

“I can see it.”

“You can? I don’t see any change.”

“You’re too close to the subject matter to be objective. You also want to get really big so quickly that small changes don’t interest you. But I can see it – especially in your arms, your chest, and your legs. I can also tell you have purposefully been working out your forearms more than I told you to. They’re growing faster than anything else. You need to remember what I said about striving for balance.”

I did not look at his face on the screen. I was like a child that was being scolded by his father. I kept my gaze focused down at the floor. I had been caught. He was, in fact, correct. I worked my forearms almost fiendishly every day and increased the weight each time. I wanted those two fuckers to balloon up something monstrous. I instinctively tensed the lower part of my right arm and was surprised to see a couple of veins pop out on top of what was obviously some new solid muscle. It actually looked thick. Seeing my forearm this way, through Derek’s eyes, made it possible for me to briefly recognize some of my body’s new development. I twisted my wrist to make the bulge dance a little. I heard Derek cough loudly – either to get my attention or to hide his appreciation of my arm - I wasn’t sure which. I continued to look down and chose my words carefully before speaking.

“I need to find a way to turn you on as much as your body turns me on.”

The silence from the other side of the FaceTime connection made me look up at the screen. Derek had a big smile on his face and his eyes seemed to sparkle more than ever. I knew at that moment I was truly falling in love with the man. It caused some intense conflicting feelings to surface immediately within me, but I kept my face locked on his. I didn’t want to let anything ruin this moment.

“It’s good to keep this sexual tension between us alive, James, because it will help push us harder in our workouts, but let’s also take our time, okay? I want you to continue to heal from the pain of Chance’s death just as much as I want you to continue to grow. We need to get you big and that, for now, should be our number one focus. You still have a long way to travel – both physically and emotionally. I’d like to be around for a while to watch both things happen, so I don’t want to mess up this friendship in any way. And just for the record, you don’t need to do anything more than what you are already doing to turn me on. The forearms, though, do look very nice. Goodnight James. Sleep well. For tonight I think you should read Chance’s story entitled ‘Mr. Huge.’ You’ve earned it.”

As soon as he finished his last sentence the screen went blank. He wanted to drop his bombshell and then disappear into the night, how dramatic. I sat there in silence – pleased beyond belief at his words and choosing to ignore the part of me that had suddenly become uneasy in some way. I quickly jumped to the computer and searched for Chance’s story. I opened ‘Mr. Huge’ and began reading. I was caught off guard when I realized the three characters in the fantasy were named Chance, Derek, and James. I went back to the beginning of the story and that’s when I caught the one line dedication just after the title. It read, “This story is for Derek, a good friend, and James, the love of my life.” I sat there and read the many paragraphs of this particular tale very slowly. The premise was basically about a guy named Chance who was ‘growing’ two huge men as his super strong muscle slaves. They were being groomed for a contest that would determine who would be crowned ‘Mr. Huge.’ The battle involved a size competition, but it also included strength feats and other assorted pornographic tasks to test the giants, as well. Chance, as author, spent a lot of time describing the two growing muscle men. He nailed us both in terms of personality and looks, but enhanced our bodies to unimaginable heights – well, mine a lot more than Derek’s. Many paragraphs were dedicated to lovingly illustrating our huge muscles and what they could do, but just as many sentences were dedicated to talking about the lust that developed between the two men, as they grew bigger. I was stroking my cock before I even got beyond the initial set up section of the story and I was spraying my load all over my stomach when I was barely half way through. I sat there and let the milky juice dry on my body as I devoured every last word, getting hard all over again by the end. The big guy named James won the contest and the grand prize was the opportunity to sleep with Derek, which, in my opinion, actually made it seem like they both had won. Of course, the Chance character sat and watched the two giant guys fuck, since they were his big slaves for life.

The story brought up such a mixture of emotions for me. I was incredibly turned on but I was also slightly disturbed by the fact that the three of us were described so perfectly, well except for the body enhancements. I also found it odd that Derek and James ended up having sex and Chance was just a voyeur. I wasn’t sure if I wanted a different ending or what, it just seemed a little strange. I contemplated all of this deeply as I showered and it finally dawned on me that I felt weird because of my newly admitted desire to have sex with Derek. As soon as I made that realization I was more at ease, but I was also a little more distraught. I began to feel like I was breaking some commitment to Chance by allowing my crush on Derek to continue to build. Lastly, it felt slightly weird that Derek and I were now building our bodies together, almost like Chance had known this day would come and he put it in one of his stories. I knew this feeling was pretty crazy, but I couldn’t help myself – I imagined Chance somewhere in heaven watching us – he had become the ultimate voyeur. That was the first night since the death I wasn’t awakened abruptly by a bad nightmare – which usually involved me having to watch Chance die in some horrible fashion. No, that night the dream was intensely sexual and filled completely with visions of my dead husband. I awoke refreshed and convinced that I was somehow being forewarned by Chance about my desires for Derek. I decided that morning it was important to take this new relationship very slow, but another part of me wanted to fully jump into that pool of muscles called Derek.

I went through that day filled with exciting thoughts about getting the chance to chat with Derek during our evening workout. Later that night the sexual tension between us was even stronger than before, but we now simply chose to deal with it differently – we added more weight to our exercises. I found myself curling and pressing more weight than either Derek or I thought was possible at this part of my journey. I secretly knew it was because I just needed to focus all my desires for the big man somewhere else and I think he realized the same thing.

“So, how did you like the story last night?”

“I found it a little disconcerting to know the people, I mean the characters, so well, but that didn’t prevent me from getting incredibly turned on.”

“I asked Chance to write a story for me and that’s what he came up with. It’s my favorite. I’ve never made it to the end without exploding. I hope that I’m not over sharing.”

“Listen, Derek, I have to ask – and I’m sorry if it offends you – but did you two ever…”

“No! Don’t even ask that James. Everyone on the Forum will tell you how nauseating it was sometimes to chat with Chance because almost every other sentence was something about how great James was or about something important James had done. It was clear he was infatuated with you. We all felt like we knew you as well as we did Chance. The few guys that did ignore the fact that he was married were simply dropped as one of his friends. Chance only hung out online with people that respected his commitment to you. I’m sorry if this sexual thing between us is bringing up questions like that. We could stop chatting if it would help. I really don’t want to cause you more pain.”

“No, no, no, Derek, please – you’re the best thing in my life right now and I depend on you to keep me inspired and focused on growing bigger. I think I just found it odd that in the story the two characters named Derek and James were lifting together and helping each other to grow. And they are the two that end up having sex. It’s just a little strange, that’s all.”

“Yeah, I thought so, too. But, like you said earlier, it’s also a big turn on, isn’t it?”

“Hell yes.”

We smiled at each other and then began our next set of reps. It was clear a that moment we were moving beyond some hidden barrier in our relationship. I was beginning to rely on Derek in ways that couldn’t be grasped on a rational level – he was a mentor for sure, but he was also growing into my best friend. Even though it seemed really inappropriate, my feeling of comfort with the man allowed me to ask him my next question.

“Um, Derek, can I ask you another personal question?”

“I told you to ask anything you want, James.”

“When you are lifting do you ever get . . . um, you know . . . a raging boner that begins to hurt because it gets so hard?”

“All the time, good sir.”

“Yeah, me too. What should I do? It sometimes breaks my concentration.”

“Just take a quick trip to the bathroom and have a good wank. It will calm you down and actually help you to re-double your efforts.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. But . . . um . . . I was thinking . . . that maybe, um, when it happens during our time together we could . . . we could, you know, maybe wank off together. It wouldn’t mean anything. It would just be, you know, two guys letting off a little built-up steam.”

We stared at each other on our individual screens. I felt my face flush red and my body was suddenly quite warm all over. It was apparent that Derek was choosing his words carefully. It was also obvious that my idea thrilled him on some level, but the guy was just too good to be deterred by his animalistic desires. The bulge in his pants twitched slightly but then it was clear the man got control of himself.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, James. I think we should keep all of this decent, my good friend. Let’s not muddy the water with anything more intense than some heavy flirting and teasing. Besides, I still don’t think you’re ready for all of Mr. Huge.”

“Of course I am!”

“That was a joke, James. I really just think we need to move slowly, okay. We are both still very vulnerable. I want to help you – not confuse you more. Please trust me on this, okay? Just give me some type of sign and I’ll let you take a break, so you can go in the bathroom and take care of things.”

“I think I’d prefer to wait it out, then.”

“Suit yourself, man. I think it’s good to harness that desire into your lifting.”

“I might also have to start putting a few heavy weights on my dick – just to help keep it down. I’ll probably have to use a couple of the forty pound plates.”

Derek laughed hard and we quickly moved into position for more of my evening lesson. It was clear that the big man didn’t want us to pursue this particular conversation any further. Our friendship deepened over the next few weeks and our lifting became more intense, as well – mainly because the sexual tension continued to grow even stronger. I ended up quickly packing on more muscle than Derek anticipated. I added about twenty-eight pounds of muscle in less than four months. The time flew by and there was barely a day when we didn’t chat with each other – and lift with each other, even though we lived thousands of miles apart. One evening I ended up causing a little tension-relief for Derek and I hadn’t even planned it. It was a mistake I’ll remember for the rest of my life.

“Hey, before we start lifting tonight I want to show you something, Derek. It’s something that has started happening a lot and I want you to see. I know you’re going to approve.”

I was wearing a black tank top, but I pulled on one of my white button-downs over it. I started buttoning the shirt and it was quickly obvious that I had grown too much for all the buttons to be completely fastened. I poked as many as I could through their holes, marveling at how my chest forced there to be big gaps between them. I then moved a little to the right so my arm was taking up the entire screen.

“This is so fucking cool, you’re going to be so proud of me. Look at how tight this shirt is, I still can’t believe how big I’m getting. But that’s not the best part – take a look at this.”

I started bending my arm slowly, flexing the biceps hard. A substantial mound started rising underneath the sleeve. There was a weird noise coming from Derek’s side of the connection, but I was too focused on my arm to notice. I got instant wood as soon as I heard the material of my shirt start to rip. I squeezed my muscles harder and, suddenly, the bulging mass of my newly improved biceps burst through the material. The pop of the cotton shirtsleeve was loud and the destruction was incredible. The peak of my arm was a beautiful ball of sinew and obvious strength - and to top it off there was a blood pulsing vein snaking across the bulge. It wasn’t as huge as Derek’s, but it looked like the start of a nice biceps. I heard a cry of some sort from my screen and when I moved back in front of the computer the big man was nowhere to be found. I was just staring at the books on shelves lining the wall of his den.

“Wasn’t that cool, Derek? I ripped my shirt just by flexing my arm. And I can make some of the buttons pop, too. You got to see this. Hey man, where are you?”

“I’ll be right there. I just need to take care of something.”

His voice was coming from somewhere in the room, but I still couldn’t see him. His voice also sounded a little strained, like he had already started lifting or something. He didn’t come back immediately and I started to get a little frustrated. I was so proud of busting our to my shirt and I wanted to share the excitement. That’s when I finally caught on to the noise I was hearing in the background. The big guy was obviously jacking off. I could now discern the distinct sound of his large hand moving up and down on his cock and slightly muffled moans escaping from his mouth. I suddenly got chills all over my body – just from knowing I had excited the big man in a way he couldn’t control. He soon cried out a little and I heard a light splattering noise, as if someone was spilling something on the floor. After a few seconds Derek’s smiling face returned in front of the screen, but he definitely looked a little flushed and disheveled.

“Someone didn’t make it to the bathroom, I see.”

“Sorry man, that’s just a big turn-on for me. I am a huge Incredible Hulk fan and watching your arm rip through that sleeve was way too much. Fuck, that was nice. I had to have a quick wank or I would have died of a heart attack. Now you know another one of my dirty little fetish secrets. And so there you have it, my first time to orgasm in front of you.”

“Well not actually in front of me, you moved out of the view of the camera, you bad, bad boy.”

“Even in the midst of an uncontrollable orgasm, I still insist on some sense of decency, my dear fellow. I am British, you know.”

“You just basically busted a wad from watching me flex through my shirt – I think decency has gone out the window.”

“Well, let’s just say I want to save some surprises between us for later on, that’s all.”

“Suit yourself, but please know that I have outgrown most of my wardrobe and we can easily have a repeat of my little show any time you want.”

“Duly noted, ready for our workout? I still have a lot of ball-busting energy to release.”

“Definitely, but I think I’ll keep the button-down on, just for some added pleasure. Who knows what move will make other parts of this rag rip apart.”

“It is apparent that someone is beginning to notice the obvious changes to his body and I think he really likes them.”

“Do you like them, Derek?”

“The mess over there on my hardwood floor is the only answer I need give you, James.”

I smiled with what I knew was an evil grin. I had, indeed, started to notice many changes to my body – and other people had, as well. My secretary complimented me almost every day and even ordered me to buy new slacks because all the women in the office couldn’t stop talking about my new muscular bubble butt. I teasingly threatened turning her into Human Resources for harassment, but she quickly told me that everyone in that particular department would be on her side, both the women and men, since they were all drooling over my new body, as well. She quickly added it was harassment on my part to wear such tight fitting clothes. I shared with her that I was just growing too quickly and it was becoming expensive to keep my wardrobe up with the changes happening to my body. She started fanning herself and said she had to go get a glass of water.

I was also now catching guys staring at me when I was working out at the gym – even some big guys that would have never noticed me before. The big model-looking guy behind the counter even started acknowledging me when I came in every morning. When I began he simply scanned my card without even looking up, but now he would say things like “looking good, big guy” or “how’s it hanging, man?” I noticed that I started carrying myself a little more proudly than ever before in my entire life. I began wearing clothes that revealed much more of my body. I hadn’t owned a tank top since second grade, but now the top drawer of my dresser contained one in every color imaginable. I found myself constantly flexing in front of mirrors at home, too, and not even laughing. Sometimes, when I was home alone, I would speak to the memory of Chance and tell him how great it felt to be getting big. He was still a major part of my desire to grow, so I needed to keep him involved with the process. I had charts all over the kitchen that kept track of my weight, the size of my muscles, the frequency of busting a load when looking at myself, and other crazy stuff. Ever two weeks, I had to drop a box or two of clothes off at Goodwill – simply because I knew I would never be able to fit in the small things again. Every little indication of growth spurred me on even more and I was rewarded with more pounds on the scale and a further stretched measuring tape each week. I had become a growing machine. The biggest thrill of all came one night when I caught Derek staring at my body with the same kind of lust I always offered his. I didn’t let on that I saw that certain look in his eyes, but I did get much satisfaction from his admiration.

Even by the sixth month mark I was still surprised at how much my own body turned me on. I was still infatuated with Derek’s bigger beefiness, but I could also appreciate the good-sized mounds that were popping out all over my own growing frame. I had never felt as great on the inside, either. I had more energy that ever in my life and I tended to always be doing something athletic – riding my bike, rollerblading, hiking, or just yanking my perpetually hard cock. I started noticing things that had never seemed important before – like how a tight shirt could make my nipples hard just from bouncing my growing pecs against the stretched fabric or how the perfect pair of jeans could mold to a muscled ass and actually ride up into your crack to give some added pleasure. I was still living the life of a loner and got a huge thrill from always walking around my place totally nude. I actually only dressed at home when I was FaceTiming with Derek. I also left all the curtains open – knowing I was giving all my neighbors a good cheap thrill.

Derek kept telling me that the amount of weight I was now lifting was way beyond what a guy my size should be pumping up and down, but I didn’t believe him – until one surprising morning at the gym. I was working chest that day and a supremely muscled guy – someone I drooled over constantly – asked if he could work in with me. Even with all the new size I was packing I immediately felt inadequate and intimidated by this obvious bodybuilder. I was flattered beyond belief he wanted to share his workout with me, the place wasn’t too full and there were many unused benches. He went first and I loaded the bar on my side with what he was placing on his. After he had done ten smooth reps he stood up and asked how much I wanted removed from the bar. The look on his face was priceless when I told him we needed to actually add twenty pounds on either side. I could tell he thought I was just showing off and he moved around intending to spot me as I struggled to lift the bar even one time. Since he was standing just above my face I was able to watch his cock swell to all its fullness when I cranked out a perfect set – clearly not needing any assistance from him. He stammered something about how fucking unbelievable it was that a small guy like me was able to lift so much weight and then he excused himself, saying he just remembered he had to split early that morning because of something at work. I watched him move quickly towards the locker room while he tried desperately to hide his erection.

I kept asking Derek when my muscles were going to grow to equal my strength and he would always tell me to be patient. He said I was slowly tearing down my old body and methodically building up the new one. He said it always took time and that usually the strength came first. I was impatient, mainly because of my now completely accepted lust for all things dealing with muscle and every fetish attached to muscle worship. I had become a proud member of the Forum, with my own username and password. I finished all of Chance’s stories and began reading them again. I somehow felt deeply connected to my husband in a new way and it became easier and easier to constantly talk about him with Derek. On some level I realized the anniversary of his death was quickly approaching, but my love for working out and the new community I had found on the website made it easy to ignore that fact.

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