Polar Opposites
by Londonboy
Some people say that opposites attract and for most of my life I thought that saying was a bunch of bullshit � that is until I met Judd. Now, I�m not only a firm believer in the statement, but our story is the poster-child example of what happens even when Cupid�s arrows strike two very different people. Let me tell you one thing for sure � there�s nothing you can do about it. Believe me, I tried to ignore it, but love just has a way of breaking through all barriers. Judd, of course, tells the story differently than me. I know one thing for sure, though, and that is I did not like the man when we first met. You could even say I hated the redneck bastard. But like I said, he tells it differently.Ignore the little prissy dude sitting beside me. He would have you believe he wasn�t attracted to me from the second he laid eyes on me, but one glance at my handsome face and my big body tells you something different doesn�t it. There isn�t a man alive that wouldn�t wonder what a little pleasure from me might feel like, right? Yeah, I can even see in your eyes that you�re feeling a little hard just because you�re sitting this close to me. Isn�t that so? You can deny it, but trust me � I�ve got a sixth sense when it comes to guys getting excited by looking at my muscles. Don�t let stuck-up Spencer here tell you differently. He wanted me from the get go.
Anyway, the first time we met was not the stuff of romance novels. I teach graduate level literature and was giving a lecture on Shakespeare one night in some godforsaken suburb of the city. I had an hour before the presentation and decided to get something to eat while I looked over my notes. The one spot that didn�t have an hour-long wait was a local pub. I chose to sit at one of the tall tables in the bar area because I figured it would be a lot quicker. Little did I know that five minutes after I sat down all hell would break loose. It seems that a group of Neanderthals had just finished a mud football game in the park across the street and chose that exact pub to celebrate their brutish ritual of running after and jumping on each other. I would have immediately left the pub, but I had already ordered.
Brutish ritual, huh? It seems to me that you have now come to love it when I tackle you at home. Look how red he gets when I say stuff like that. But we�ll save that for another time. Spence is right, though, on this point. We had just finished playing football in the park � still a little damp from rains earlier in the week � and needed to numb our aches and pains with a few beers. I didn�t even notice the little squirt sitting there until after the fight. We were just a group of guys looking to get a little drunk and have some fun. I never planned on being bowled over by an English teacher.
A professor of literature, Judd. The fact is that this group of thugs took over the bar as if they owned the place. They were yelling and slapping each other on the back as if they had just returned from something akin to what I think they call a monster truck show. It was pretty disgusting � the way they looked and smelled.
Yeah, but you�ve come to love the smell of my sweat, haven�t you boy. See, there�s the red face again, but this time the embarrassment is mixed with a little bit of anger so I better shut up and let him tell the story.
Thank you. So, something gets the herd of buffalo into a tizzy and a couple of guys start shoving each other hard. I, at first, think they are just joking, but then I notice that their pushes are turning into something close to punches. Suddenly, one guy throws his two fists into the other guy�s stomach and the latter comes flying into my table, knocking my glass of red wine all over my notes and me. I know I let out a loud scream and made it very clear that I was very perturbed. I quickly told the man what an imbecile he was and that he had just ruined months of work. The guy suddenly turned his attention from his attacker to me. I could tell he was already very drunk and then I became alarmed as I saw him coming towards me with what seemed like the intention of causing me harm.
That�s when I put the Judd-clamp down on Randy�s shoulder � that�s the guy�s name. I�ve been able to stop a grown man in his tracks for years by grabbing his traps with my big paw. I can squeeze so hard that it would probably even stop a bear. The cool thing was to watch the look on little Spencer�s face as I applied enough pressure on Randy�s body to make him sink to his knees. I think he was especially drawn to the way it made my triceps explode. I�m sure my arm looked pretty huge in my tight short-sleeved jersey. Well, I just kind of shoved Randy to the side and stepped in to help clean up the mess. That�s when Spencer started tearing into me.
I�ll take over from here Judd. I think I can remember perfectly well what we both said:
�Look at the mess your friend has made. I�ve been working on this presentation for months and now it�s ruined. Not to mention my jacket and shirt. I have to speak in forty-five minutes and look at me. Damn, damn, damn.�
�Sorry, man. We can clean it up � look, just take these napkins and soak up the wine. Your paper will be almost as good as new. You can still see the writing. No worries, buddy.�
�I am not your buddy and the ink has all blurred. It will be hard to read from the podium. That stupid jerk has made a mess of everything.�
At this point I noticed Randy getting up off the floor with a look that said he was going to come after me again. Judd merely turned to him and made a face that said don�t event think about it. The other man merely backed away and returned to the rest of the group.
�I think you better lay off of Randy. He doesn�t really like city boys. I�m also not so sure I want to protect you for much longer � if you�re going to continue to be rude.�
�Protect me? What makes you think I need protecting? What an asinine thing to say. I can take care of myself and I certainly don�t need or want your help.�
�Hey, I�m sorry. Okay? I�m just trying to make things better for you. That�s all, man. What are these notes anyway? It looks like a speech or something.�
�Well that�s because it is � or was - a presentation I�m about to give at the library in this stupid place.�
�Hey, there�s no reason to get so testy, okay. Look at how great the sheets have dried. It looks fine. And you won� see the stain on your shirt if you keep your coat buttoned. So what�s your talk about anyway?�
�Something that I�m sure you have no knowledge about. I�m sorry, that was rude. It�s just that I�m still very angry. My presentation is about the way some of Shakespeare�s characters faced death. I�m sure it would bore you to tears.�
�So you mean like when Romeo says:
�Eyes look your last,
Arms take your last embrace,
And lips, oh you the doors of breath,
Seal with a righteous kiss
A dateless bargain to engrossing death.��
�Well, yes, just like that . . . how do you know . . . I mean I can�t believe . . . Yes, just like that.�
Man, I wish you could have seen the look on Spence�s face. The little guy was so dumbstruck that I knew a line from Shakespeare that he almost fainted. Don�t let him tell you differently. He never thought a big fucking jock would be able to quote that Bard fellow in a million years. I just stood there and smiled at him. I didn�t have the guts to tell him that I had memorized just those few lines of that sissy play to impress a girl in an �easy A� class in college. He would have died if he had known those stupid lines had gotten me in the sack with Sarah Michaels quicker than a couple shots of tequila. I had to keep saying those lines over and over as I plowed Sarah in her dorm room because I didn�t know any others. Since then, though, I�ve learned that other lines from Shakespeare can make some people throw their legs in the air, too.
Yes, well, I think that story is better left untold, Judson. It was indeed very shocking to hear you quote Shakespeare so perfectly. I was not, however, close to fainting. I was merely surprised that you had ever picked up one of his plays, let alone taken the time to memorize a few lines. I think it was clear that I knew you didn�t have any other knowledge of Shakespearean plays when I did not request other examples. Let�s just suffice it to say that I was impressed that you knew those that you did. It certainly softened my anger and enabled me to see the entire situation that had unfolded as an unfortunate accident. I believe I thanked you for your assistance and then began to eat my food, which had just arrived. No matter what he tells you, I did not follow him with my eyes as he walked away and continue to stare at him every now and then while I was eating.
You lie like a rug. How could you not watch this huge body walk away? People on the other side of the pub were watching me � so why wouldn�t you? And I know for a fact that you continued to look at me, since I caught your eye many times and watched you turn red. Like I said, you wanted this big boy from the get go. I, on the other hand, just walked away and joined my buddies for a few more beers.
Then how did you �catch my eye� as you just confessed? Any intelligent person would realize that you would have to be looking at me to notice that I glanced at you.
See, you admit that you glanced at me!
Let�s not start this argument again. We�ll just say that we both did indeed look at each other a few more times while I ate and you drank. By the way, he will deny this too, but while I ate my dinner he had five more beers and I don�t know how many he had before that. The big man can certainly hold his liquor but I think he was downing them even faster than he normally did. He won�t admit it, but I think he was trying to get himself drunk for some reason. I think I�ll let you tell this part, Judd. But make sure you don�t leave anything out.
I won�t, you little shit. But you also have to not interrupt me and let me tell it my own way. You can add your piece after I�m done. He will anyway - whether I say he can or not. To begin this part of the story, though, let�s get one thing straight, so to speak. Before meeting little Spence, here, I had only fucked a kajillion women � mainly one night stands or very short-term relationships. I didn�t know anything different. I�m a mechanic for god�s sake and I mostly hang around my buddies from football in the park or the guys at the auto shop. I didn�t get the chance to meet many queers, um, I mean gay men. I�m not saying that I didn�t think I was different from my friends or anything like that. The fact that I was thirty-five years old and had never had a lasting relationship says a lot, but most people just chalked it up to me being a player and I even started believing that shit. Hell, I could have any woman I wanted and I did. In my twenties I was smaller than I am now, but I was still fucking covered in muscles and even then I was definitely a head turner. I swear to god that I had never before thought about being romantic with any guy, but that all changed that night in the pub.
You can say that again, Judd.
I said no interrupting, Spencer. Am I going to have to plug that mouth of yours with something to keep you quiet or what? Don�t think I won�t whip it out right now if I have to. I�m already kind of hard just thinking back to that night, so it won�t take anything to make my tube of meat stiff. You get my drift buddy? Yeah, I thought so. So there I am in the pub with my friends and I feel the need to continually look back over to the little dude, sitting at the bar table eating his meal. I can�t figure it out to save my life, but something�s pulling my eyes back to him over and over. A few times I notice him looking at me, but then we both quickly look away. That�s when I notice that my body is like one giant exposed nerve � all tingly and prickly every time I find the little guy looking at me. I haven�t ever felt this way when I was scoping some broad at a bar. This is something new and fucking awesome. Suddenly I realize that I want the guy to stare at me. I find myself standing in places so he has a perfect shot of my body and damn if I�m not tensing my muscles every now and then when I think he�s looking. When I go after women in bars it�s all about the hunt and what they have to offer me. This was definitely different, though. For some reason, I wanted to impress the little dweeb. I cared more about him liking me than just merely getting to the point where I went in for the kill and took whatever I wanted. That�s when Randy drew attention to my fat hard log tenting out my sweatpants. I was so caught up in my confusion that I hadn�t noticed I was harder than I�d ever been in my entire life. The guys figured it was all the beer in me that was making the blood rush to my big dick and they started looking around the pub deciding what woman was going to have the benefit of being lifted by my mega-man sized rod. The guys definitely enjoyed my victories more than me.
If only they had known.
Hell, I didn�t even know. It was such a fucking new feeling for me. I knew I was drunk but I also knew my brain was clear as a bell � I desperately wanted the little man sitting a few yards from me. I�d love to tell you there was a . . . a, what do you call it � epitaph? No, epiphany. There wasn�t a big epiphany moment with angels or some shit marching band � there was only the clear message that I needed that little Shakespeare fellow to want me as much as I wanted him. And then there was also fear. Fear like I had never felt before. I�ve been huge since elementary school � so big, in fact, that I wasn�t even intimidated by my teachers. I had stopped being scared of anything long ago, but here I was shaking like a wimpy kid over some tiny asshole city dude. Even in the midst of my confusion I was able to devise a plan to talk to him again. I excused myself from the group and went to the bathroom. I took a few minutes to splash water on my face and convince my reflection in the mirror what I had to do. When I returned to the bar I dropped by the little guy�s table:
�Hey, again, I�m sorry what happened. Randy feels bad, too.�
�He doesn�t look like he feels bad.�
�Well, he does. He just can�t say it, that�s all. He sent me over to see if he could buy your dinner.�
�Really? Wow, that�s very kind of him. Unfortunately, though, I�ve already paid for the meal. I will certainly thank him on my way out.�
�Yeah well, I wouldn�t do that if I were you. He�s a little shy and wouldn�t want to be noticed like that. How about if he just gets your card so he can send you some money for the dry-cleaning. I mean I assume you send your clothes out to be cleaned don�t you.�
�You assume so or Randy does?�
�Randy . . . Randy assumes you send your clothes out.�
�Yes I do. Tell Randy thanks very much. He�s too kind. Here�s my card. Now if you�ll excuse me, I have a �talk,� as you called it, to give. �O true apothecary, thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.�
�What? Listen, I don�t need a kiss or anything.�
�Um, no . . . it�s the last lines of Romeo�s speech before his death. A few lines after what you recited.�
�Oh, yeah. That�s right. Kiss and die. Yep, I remember that.�
�Tell Randy thanks. Goodnight, um, . . .�
�Judd.�
�Nice to meet you Judd. I�m Spencer. Well, goodbye.�
�Bye . . . Spencer.�
Bravo, good sir. You actually told that part of the story, quite well. And trust me, it�s true. This beast sitting beside me was a gay virgin the day we met. As virgin as the day is long. I know without a shadow of doubt that up until he met me the only penis he had ever touched, probably even looked at, was his own. I left the pub laughing at the fact that Judd thought he convinced me that Randy was going to send me money for dry-cleaning. I knew that Judd was the one that was really sorry for the accident. I was probably going to get a couple of dollars in the mail from the big man as a peace offering. I was pretty sure he had never sent anything out to be cleaned so he had no idea of the cost. I was, though, touched by his obvious concern and his desire to right a wrong. If only his idiot friend could have felt the same way. And that, as they say, were my last thoughts on the subject.
No it wasn�t. I know that you thought of me a couple of times that night and over the next few days. You�ve told me that before. You said you thought about my big body and the fact that I knew some Shakespeare. I�m pretty sure, however, that you mostly thought about my body. Come on - tell the truth � like I did.
Okay, okay. Yes, I did contemplate your physique a couple of times that night and a few times later. And why not, you had worked hard on your body so it would be noticed � am I right?
Even though he�s never admitted it, I bet he went home that night and beat off thinking about my arms. He�s an arm man, you know.
I did not ejaculate from thinking about your arms! Please do not include me in your fantasies about grown men beating off � as you call it � while worshipping your body. Yes, I did remember your hugeness fondly, but I did not wallow in a moment of some pornographic lack of self-control. I merely thought about your body in the way that someone might enjoy Michelangelo�s David or a nude painting. I was admiring the hard work you put into building up your body.
I�m going to let that one pass for now. We�ll see how much self-restraint you showed when we get to other parts of the story. Like last night, for example, when I was asked to put on a gladiator costume you picked up on the way home.
Judd, you are incorrigible. We are not required to share everything about our intimate private lives, we have merely been asked to explain how it was that we became a couple. I believe that we should simply return to our story and stay on track. There is no need to share all parts of our story. Where were we, oh yes, I had left the pub to go give my presentation. The audience at the library was very kind and they warmly received my lecture.
There were four people there and two of them were homeless fellows looking for warmth and free food.
Yes, but the other two were very interested in what I had to say. And there were six people there if you count me, and you � even though you were hidden behind two large bookshelves. No one even knew you were there the entire evening. The bottom line, Judson, is that if I had not given that presentation we would have never met. So, no matter how many people showed up to hear my words, it was key to our story.
That�s true. I also fell asleep leaning against the bookshelf while listening to him and didn�t wake up until the librarian screamed when she came around the corner and bumped into me. It startled me so that I accidentally shoved the two bookcases over when I woke up. A simple push from my shoulder was too much power. I quickly grabbed the toppled shelves, stood them back up - books and all, and then ran from the building. It was very embarrassing.
But that�s just the beginning of our story. There�s a lot more drama to how we got together.