Josh & Gabriel (ar)
by MS_alberta
Gabriel loved his older brother, Josh. And once, Josh loved his little brother Gabriel. Josh still loved him actually, but something had come between them. Gabriel was quite ignorant of his brother’s feelings, but only because Josh had kept them buried very deep inside him, where feelings are likely to fester and grow unchecked. For years, Joshua had been the protector, the supporter, the mentor and the best friend to his little brother.
Their mother, never finding any man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, often moved quickly from one to another, never satisfied with any. Eventually, she found herself carrying a child. And so Josh was born from one man, and not too long after that, Gabriel was born from another. Their births each came at great cost to their mother’s body, damaging her so that she could never conceive again. Their mother, confident her search for the perfect man was far too costly to herself and too time consuming, decided instead to raise the perfect man, or rather, the perfect men. She did all she could to ensure her sons grew up physically, mentally, and emotionally handsome.
And they grew very handsome in all of these ideals. Josh grew large and strong with his own Nordic heritage blazing in him as he seemed to glide through adolescence and await just at the edge of manhood. Gabriel basked in the Brazilian blood that coursed through his smaller body, giving his face and skin the look of a dozen different races combined into one through his mother’s English parentage and his father’s Brazilian and thusly, almost obscenely mixed genetic code.
But now something had changed, for as much as our parents seek to protect, shelter, and to an extent, shape us, the outside world always manages to intrude. And while the brothers were arguably perfect in their studies, their bodies, and their very nature, there was one thing that had not been accounted for, and honestly, could not be accounted for.
Gabriel was had just begun his first year and Josh his fourth and final. This was the first time in years the boys had attended the same school, and competition between the two began to erupt. While Gabriel felt energized and challenged by his contests with his brother, Josh had begun to feel threatened. He could see his superiority over his brother begin to end.
The final event came in the Spring, when the boys showered together after their respective athletic teams had finished their practices. The teams huddled in and shared the shower space, with most Freshman in awe of the Seniors, and most Seniors feeling a kind kindred with the underclassmen, remembering how the Seniors of their time had seemed like the pinnacle. All except for Gabriel, who had begun to think of himself as ‘approaching’ equal to his brother. Gabriel now saw that he was his brother’s better in one defining way. In fact, it was not just Gabriel, but the assembled teens around them that noticed. Josh, while having no reason to complain about his body, now realized, it was his little brother who held the title of “the larger brother”. The boys stood side by side in the shower and it was clear that while Josh was a soon-to-be-man among boys, it was Gabriel who was already more than man-sized among them, and likely to grow beyond. In the way only a gaggle of teenage boys could articulate, they all agreed on Gabriel’s unintentional victory, “Holy shit, Gabe…”. The term was uttered in unison by two boys, one Freshman and the other Senior, seeming to represent the thoughts of both groups. Gabriel leaned back, with his head down in slight modesty, and allowed the water to flow over his body, unknowingly putting a great emphasis on his blessing.
After a lengthy visual examination and comparison of the brothers, the groups divided. Josh wanted to speak with his friends, to somehow undo the comparison that all had made, but knew of no question to ask or reason to give that could accomplish that task. He was ever so calmly frustrated by his inability to change or solve the situation. So, still in a state of slight awe and wonder, he got dressed and attempted to go on with his day. But the shower remained with him, and in fact every time he saw his brother he was reminded. He found himself staring at his brother’s center, outlining him and imagining it again in his mind’s eye.
He was unable to sleep, completely preoccupied by his brother’s formation. He signed on to his computer and began looking at a number of products. Some were made to shorten and thin a man like his brother, but Josh knew he could not do something like that to Gabriel, that he could not violate him either with device or chemical. So instead he turned to his own modification. He reasoned everything would be balanced again if he could figure out someway to regain his position over his brother. He searched for hours, dawn neared, and exhaustion was dragging Josh into sleep when he came across an ad for precisely what he needed. The discreet ad read as follows: Disprotia: Want to have to use two hands instead of one? Want to have trouble hiding it? Want to see it reach past your naval and hang half way down your thighs? Want to be able to taste your own? Try us, we promise you, you’ll find yourself the definition of… Disprotia”. And so, Josh, in his sleep deprived state, paid the large sum of money from his own account and promptly fell asleep at the keys.
Within 12 hours, a small brown box had been delivered to the boys’ home. When discovered by Josh, he hazily recalled the last night and immediately regretted the large amount of money spent. He took the box to his room and attempted to retrace his steps to find the site and inquire about a refund. However, he was unable to retrace the path his altered mind had taken and could not find any trace of the site online or in his history. He accepted the loss, and decided to examine the package. Inside he found two bottles. One filled with a clear viscous liquid, almost a gel, and the other containing dozens of small white pills. The instructions were clear enough; “For slower, easier to monitor results, take two pills once a day and rub the liquid into the area. For faster results take two pills at eight hour intervals, and again rub the liquid into the area.” Seeing no real harm in attempting, Josh earnestly began the slower regiment that very afternoon.
A month had passed and only bad news had come to Josh. His mother and Gabriel had visited the doctor, and the doctor had informed them that Josh was just about due for another growth spurt, one that would likely put him at eye level with his brother, or possibly beyond. As predicted, the family saw young Gabriel’s body stretching, and as it did, Gabriel made a concerted effort to keep his muscles well formed and well sized, eating and working out purposefully, so as to never be too thin, but to grow his physique along with his skeleton, which he did very well.
Desperation set into Josh, and with it, he changed to the more frequent schedule for his body. Before, each time he had taken a pill, he felt his body tighten and his skin feel dry. He would feel parched and an intense anxiety would replace whatever mood he had been in. Until, that is, the liquid was applied. While Josh had experienced self discovery and the discovery of another’s body, this was something completely new to him. His large frame quaked and tremors danced across his skin as his muscles quivered, from his biceps to his calves. Josh’s knuckles turned white as his grip intensified and as his back twisted and arched. His face displayed his bliss, eyes wide and mouth silently moaning, as each new wave of sensation rolled from the back of his neck, through his mind, and seemed to settle at his crown. The liquid was rubbed and soothed and massaged into him, and was always gone before he was ever able to reach the plateau and satisfy himself. This ritual, once a day, had begun to change Josh, causing him to withdraw slightly and become secretive. Now this treatment tripled, had a devastating effect on Josh’s personality. Within a week, Josh was acting openly hostile and paranoid; he now kept entirely to himself. Never before had Gabriel seen the face of his brother with such frantic and disconjointed anger in it.
Josh was not going by the approved schedule; he had made his own now. It was the first weekend of the summer, and now Josh shortened the duration between doses. At first he moved the intervals from eight hours to six, then to five, then three, and finally to every half hour. He had become addicted to the body racking sensations induced by the drug and the liquid.
Their mother, unaware of the situation, had left their home for the week as she often did, and with Josh’s radical and wounding behavior, Gabriel felt no compulsion to speak or interact with his brother, if only to try to preserve what little relationship they had left.
Finally, though, the snake oil drug was producing results. Josh did feel bigger in his own grasp, the weight and pull was increased as walked about his room nude, admiring his growth. As advertised, it soon became apparent that he was approaching his goal. His one hand would only remain sufficient for so long, his naval would soon be eclipsed, and each time he tried, he knew his lips were ever so slightly closer to a kiss of sensitive flesh.
And then, without noticing, he had finished the bottle. He had in fact, finished both bottles. The pills were gone, as was the liquid. As amazing as his heights had been his withdrawal was colossal. Josh stood in his room, face in his hand, attempting to avoid the physical onslaught he knew must be coming or as if he could shield himself from the realization that his nirvana had just run dry, but nothing could. The need grew in him, and with frightening speed it over took him, leaving only its chemical greed in his mind.
His body cried out and craved the sensations it had come to expect. But no amount of soft striations or rough manipulations could reproduce what the concoction had done to carnalize his soul. He audibly began to cry as his mind and body reconciled that they would not be allowed to return to that exotic and ever-expansive place of sensation.
And now, in his most pained state, did his brother hear him, and more than that, come to him.
Gabriel approached the door to his brother’s room, hearing the sobs and the guttural pain emanate from behind the old wood. He slowly opened the door and looked down upon his brother’s beaten, curled, and oddly diminished form.
Quietly, Gabriel crouched on his knees and laid his brother’s head on his lap. Gabriel could not tell what his brother had been doing, but hazarded a guess that his Josh had fell to an addiction of some sort. The younger boy eyed the two empty and seemingly innocuous bottles on the floor.
And so the rest of the weekend was spent with Gabriel caring for and bringing back the semi-catatonic Josh. Bathing, feeding, dressing, and simply touching him was all Gabriel knew to do, but somehow, he knew it would be enough. At first, when Gabriel would bath him, or stroke his arms or legs, with the grain of the fine hairs, he would catch Josh crying. Gabriel at first stopped his hands, but found that it hurt Josh more to have no contact and that his tears worked to relieve him of his pain and ache.
Gabriel would have paid more attention to his brother’s physical form, if not for his concern for his brother’s health and if he himself had not been going through his own growth spurt. It wasn’t until the early hours of Monday morning, that Josh had regained enough strength to function somewhat on his own.
As Josh stood by his brother’s side, it became obvious what the drug had done to him. Whether it was the drugs eventual purpose or his misuse that had caused this, they could never know, but the product had kept its promise. Standing nude, in the stray rays of an orange dawn, Josh saw the prodigious promise fulfilled. He hung low and near to half way his thigh. To hold it in its current, unexcited state was a chore, and he knew two hands would be required to handle it otherwise. Asleep, it neared his naval, and awake he knew it would meet and go past his lips if he curved his spine to meet it. Everything that was promised, except it had not grown in the slightest. His body had grown continuously smaller, more compact, and even seemingly younger, while the part he was most concerned about stay absolutely the same. His great masculine frame had been reduced to more than a child’s, but far less then a man’s. His strength and sheer size had evaporated, leaving a small, ethereal and lightly toned physique in its place. His face now reflected the misery he had experienced. More than a head shorter now than his younger brother, and sure that he couldn’t have weighed more than two thirds of what his brother did, Josh could do nothing now, but spend the time he had left with his brother, before fall came again, and before he would have to truly face the world.
In the months that followed, both boys seemed to continue to change. Josh’s plight ended not too long after his weekend in famine. He grew slightly into less, but not by much, and appeared to be in a stable state, if not a slightly dark state. His experience with the drug forced him to see aspects of himself he had never known before. The boy that was once Josh was very different now from the last time he was this height and weight. Gabriel seemed to have finished his growth spurt as well, and was now the visage of a strong healthy youth just on the edge of manhood, precisely where his brother had stood those few months ago. Fall came and Josh’s future was uncertain. He had graduated from his school, but did he want to continue the life of Josh, for in his mind he no longer felt he was Josh. His interests had changed, from the athletic to the artistic, and he began delving into the arts. His shame and his pain had changed him, and he considered, perhaps, starting over, this time as Gabriel’s little brother. Gabriel welcomed the idea and knew it might be his turn now to protect, mentor, and support his brother.
END