Spiced Life: Chapter 4

“Yea, Pedal, it’s Spice. Pick up will you…….great, not there. OK Listen, Ah’m in the college hospital for a few days for observation. Let Mom and Dad know they’ll be getting ah bill. Nothin’ serious. Just almost passed out when ma BLACK BOYFRIEND FUCKED ME IN THE SHOWERS!!!! Ye Ha!!! So how about the rest of you get the bones out of ya’lls asses and CALL ME!!! Oh, say Hey to Billy Bob and the kids for me. Later.”

Why is it when you leave a message like that that first reaction you have is to hang up the phone and stare at it, expecting it to ring back right away? But it didn’t. Maybe it was a measure of love and concern I was testing them with by not giving the phone number of the campus hospital. If they loved me, they’d make the effort to look it up. Or maybe I’m becoming more of a muscle head and forgot to give the phone number. Let’s go with the test and stuff.

And how the hell did Rachel sleep through all that? Sitting in my visitor’s chair by the window passed out completely. Do I tell her she snores when she wakes up? It is kind of cute. Man, you’d think she’d wake the guy in the next bed up but he’s hooked up to so much morphine a bomb could go off in here without affecting him. Wish they’d give me some. I could use a mental unhook for a while.

At least the Doctors haven’t found anything wrong with me. But they just wanted to keep an eye on me for a couple of days. And I think more than one of them wanted to keep more than just a regular medical eye on me. This body is like freaking amazing. I’ve only lived in it for the better part of a week, but it already feels….well, like home. But I keep forgetting that ‘home’ a 6’4’’ teenage bodybuilding Native American with a shaved head. And there ain’t that many of us around. Stand out in a crowd does not quite cover it. I get attention just by BEING and since Grandpa had said something about ‘Hiding’ I’m wondering how this is hiding. Wondering a lot of stuff, which is not natural for Spice to do.

God, that girl can snore. Sort of nice that she and De’ have been here constantly since they checked me in. De’ wouldn’t let me out of his site at first. I told him he was acting like Shirley MacLaine but he didn’t get the reference. Calls himself a fag. While I’m sure they’re concerned it also doesn’t hurt that the hospital staff gives my guests an extra food tray when they come by with meals. For all the weird shit that’s going on, we are still college students and free food is free food. They also brought their books with them and kept me company while they studied.

But it’s almost sort of weird having them be this worried about me. And not only them but people from my art classes have been dropping by. Plus most of the wrestling team all at the same time. Which filled the room and broke a few rules. I don’t think Henry had this many friends, in fact I know he didn’t. I can’t really think of anyone in my former life who would have taken the time to come by a hospital if I got sick. Better yet all but camped out here like Rachel and De’ are doing. I had made some calls in the days right after my transformation and there was no Henry Talltrees at my old office, and someone else answered my extension. Replaced without missing a best. I wonder if they would even notice I’m missing even if they still remembered me? Or, Henry, that is. These people around me now, who in some way are so very new to me, also are the closest friend I’ll ever have, or will ever know. Henry could have had dreamed of that. Or understood why it’s sad he didn’t.

Speaking of the wrestling team, the former Coach Krumwoodie came by when the team did. He was that Middle Eastern guy on the team I ‘talked’ to De’ about. I now remember that his name is Arif. He sort of stood in the back of the group. Considering how big he was though, it might have been the only place he could stand and still have the rest of the group seen. He was kind of quite, didn’t really talk, but also wouldn’t stop trying to make eye contact with me. Almost like he needed to tell me something but couldn’t because of the group. Well why didn’t he come by on his own? Is he remembering anything of Krumwoodie’s life?

“Hello” a voice suddenly said. The dividing curtain for my part of the room was suddenly thrown so that it blocked off my half. A small woman in her 50’s with a cart had come in and was smiling at me. “How are you today?” she asked, but not really like she meant it.

“Ah’m fine. How are you?”

“Good, good. Oh. ” She said seeing Rachel for the first time “Is girlfriend? I come back?” Her accent was thick, from some where in Europe. Not German or French though.

“No, not girlfriend. Just friend friend. What are you here for?”

“You been here two days. Doctor says bed rest so, time for sponge bath.”

“Oh really no, I’m fine.”

“Doctor say. You BIG guy. It’s not good for you to be in bed and not be clean. Nurses have to touch you and you need to be clean. Yes? That’s why I ask, she girlfriend, should she leave?”

“No, it’s OK. I doubt we could wake her up anyway.” I said reaching behind me and removing the fashionable hospital robe they’d given me. I don’t know which was odder. That she didn’t react to my massive body once the gown came off or that I was disappointed that she didn’t react to my body. Well, she’s probably seen it all anyway. Hate to have seen the human body so much that when you get a free peek at a side of beef like myself it doesn’t do anything for you though.

“You lay down all day, you on your back so we start with back, yes? Check for bed sores too. Turn over.” She said throwing back the sheet that was still covering me from the waist down. Wasn’t wearing no panties inn the hospital so she was getting a full on view now. And still nothing. Well maybe she was gay too.

I flipped over and moved down a bit so she could start washing my back. I crossed my arms under my pillow and propped my head up some. She must have clicked a button because the bed started making a funny mechanical noise and lowered a littler. Guess she brought it down so she could reach me better.

She started up at my neck, doing a great job of rubbing the washcloth into my skin without being too forceful. The smell of the hospital soap wasn’t too bad, not too medicinal. I noticed when he hand slipped that she had put on rubber gloves. Probably more for my protection. I’m sure I’m not the first person she scrubbed down today. The water wasn’t too hot, but it had a warm sting to it. She had to be used to it and the gloves had to help.

“You bald so we don’t worry about shampoo but...” with that she made a quick scrub of the back of my head. Some of the water leaked out of the wash cloth, ran over my shoulder blade and down my back, stopping in the small crevice just above my ass. I felt her hand remove the wash cloth from my head and an instant later go from the area on my back up to my shoulders. I couldn’t count on my dick staying soft if she was going to be making moves like that, but at least for now it was under me and hidden.

I heard her rise out the cloth and soon she started in again, a bit harder doing the full back and sides. I couldn’t help but flinch a couple of times. My back had to have flexed into it hard solid state and back down again for her. Bet she didn’t see that in the other rooms.

“That was pretty impressive, Luv? Just how did you get this big?” A much more masculine voice with now a British accent asked.

Fucking crap.

I moved my head a bit to the left and looked over my shoulder. Not wanting to see what I was going to see. The somewhat short 50 year old woman who had been scrubbing my back was becoming a much younger, much taller man who proceeded to start scrubbing my legs without noticing the changes that were sweeping his body. I must becoming more of a bone head muscle dude because Henry used to watch the late night movies on HBO and Cinemax and should have sent this coming.

Thankfully, somehow the uniform had changed so the man that was being newly created, I guess merely because I had been getting a stiffy, wouldn’t have to walk out of here in a dress and white stockings. He was beginning to fill out that uniform pretty good too. Could someone have shoulders what wide and a waist that thin? The chunky sagging belly the older woman had was quickly disappearing into a trim, thin waist that… yea thanks to the shirt being a bit too small, kept peeking out when he moved just right. Looked like a good six pack in there, with a dusting of golden blonde hair growing out. His arms filled out till they stretched the fabric on the end of the short sleeves of the uniform. They looked like they had been filled with mayo on the old woman, now they were all beef. Biceps nice a round with ….was….was that a tattoo that started forming?

Both arms started bursting out in color against the pale white skin that had come with the rest of the changes. Objects, designs, flowers. Snaking in and out of each other. This wasn’t the result of a one time planned tattoo visit but a perfect example of a guy addicted to the ink that kept going back for more. The tats ended just at the write, making a stark contrast between the bleached white uniform and the colorful long sleeve skin shirt he now wore.

As he started in on my ass I noticed that the saggy breast the woman had were now a pert pair of pecs that, like the arms though the sleeves, stretched the fabric. Interesting that while the uniform had chanced to fit the new persona, part of the persona seemed to be that it needed to be a bit too tight and slutty looking. My kind of nurse.

“Spread your bum a bit mate. And don’t do any flexing while I have my hand in here. You’ll snap my fingers off.” With that a soapy washcloth was shoved down between my ass cheeks. Oh that felt great. He knew just where to press and where to hold the pressure long enough. The water dripped down again and some how made it along the crack and onto my balls.

The last visual change I could see was the face, which too on a rugged jaw but big soulful blue eyes. His hair was still wrapped up in a hair net but instead of a nest of grey with some old dyed brown left in, it was a mass of super curly blonde, straining to get out. A quick growth of slightly darker facial hair grew in, like the guy hadn’t shaved in a couple of days.

“All right. Back’s done. Give us a flip.” He turned away to rinse out the wash cloth. His back stretched the uniform too. Though the thin white fabric I could see the tattoos that coverages is back and, from the looks of them, stretched below the belt.

“Yea, you know Ah’m good. Thanks.” I said not wanting for my life to sit up.

“Come on. Look, I’m not stupid, I know what’s going on?”

“You do?” I said starting to panic that finally someone’s aware of their change.

“You’ve gotten hard, but not to worry. Happens all the time on this job. Mind you, while there’s no reason to be, I’m glad you’re a bit embarrassed. It’s the punters who flip over proudly presenting their two inch willies that gross me out. Come on now, turn over. Nothing I haven’t seen before”

After taking a moment to prepare myself, I flipped on my back.
“I’ve never seen anything like that before.”

“Yea, well….thanks?”

“I salute you sir.” He said giving me a quick little salute with his hands and a wink. “Let’s get this cleaned up.”

I couldn’t help notice that while he started in washing my legs, his eyes never left my cock. In a detailed though manner he washed down my legs but never took his eyes off my prize. All the while obviously coming up with an award winner in his trousers for himself.

“Look this is getting embarrassing.” I sad at last. “As you said, were adults. Give me that wash cloths, turn your back and give me a few minutes. We’ll get this out of the way. Literally.”

“Too right. Do you mind if I…” he said motioning down to his swelling cock.

“Go right ahead.” I said grabbing the soapy cloth out of his hand and quickly applying it to my dick.

The orderly turned his back on me. With a slight bend of the knees I knew his dick was out and he was doing some pumping himself. “Join on in mate. The more the merrier.” I heard him say. But he knew I was jagging off. So he wasn’t calling me ‘mate.” He was talking. To. Rachel.

Holy Fucking Crap.

I had forgotten that she was even in the room. I hadn’t noticed that she had stopped snoring. I hadn’t noticed that she was watching. I hadn’t noticed that she’d grown a dick.

“Ummmm….” A much deeper voice than I had ever heard her talk in before started saying. “Spice… do you mind?”

“Don’t tell De’ we did this, but yea, why not!!! Go for it!!” Why hold back anymore? Control was totally gone over the situation so, let’s ride this out.

The orderly leaned back, so his ass rested on the bed. His dick was long and kind of pink, with a forest of curly orange yellow hairs on the balls. The last remaining man on Earth who didn’t shave his nuts but of course he’s only been a man for 10 minutes. With him in that position, I got a better look at what was going on with Rachel. She… he was still in the chair, still looking a bit like the girl I thought I knew. Why he didn’t notice that he still had breast I’m not sure. Must be part of the spell. But they soon deflated down into a major pair of pecs. Wide and strong with some great definition in them. I’m a bodybuilder, well now I am, so I know these things.

His pants were unzipped and a newly formed, darkish dick was coming out and getting bigger all the time. The hands started to jerk it didn’t become thinner, but the fingers were certainly loner than before. Since he was still clothed it was sort of hard to tell most of the body changes but the pants got tighter than the orderly’s as well as the shirt. Like a second skin on him. Who ever Rachel was becoming also started to shrink down which is when I really started to panic.

Thinking the changes were totally linked to my dick I start pounding away trying to get off as quick as I could. I was still a bit off when he stopped at around 5’5’’. Not too bad. The skin took a light brown tone, healthy and free of blemishes.

He really seemed to enjoy jagging off his dick. I tried not to think about it. That right here, in this room, both these ‘guys’ were about to cum for the first time with newly created cocks. They’d have no more troubles with menstruation but not be able to be Mothers. Shit the orderly looked like she had been old enough to be a grandmother. What if she had been? Are they going to call this 6’2’’ blonde Englishman “Granny”?

Tak… oh my god I know his name is Takashi and he’s not even Japanese yet. Tak leaned his head back and shook out his hair. The medium length reddish hair flowed out, longer and longer till it reached his waist. It got fuller too, coming forward more on the forehead. Certainly never going to have to deal with male pattern baldness like I am. It turned a deep black with slight red highlights.

The face got slightly rounder, the cheekbones WAY more defined. And then the eyes shifted. Beautiful Asian eyes formed, heavy lidded but beneath them they still has that sparkle that Rachel always had. A grin broke out on his face as a thin goatee formed around his mouth.

His long thin dick suddenly exploded and shot all over his shirt. As did the orderly.

“Great.” Tak said standing up and taking off his shirt. I was expecting solid muscles on a smaller frame, definition, with maybe a nice set of dark nipples. He had that, but underneath a maze of tribal black tattoos that crossed both arms, over his pecs and down his back. Just as extensive as the orderly’s but obviously more planned out, more of an over all design.

“Not bad mate. Check it out.” The orderly said taking off is uniform top.
Seeing these two shirtless studs start to compare tats was all I needed to shoot. Going to have some explaining to the cleaning crew as to what they were scrapping off the head board. I shot that hard.

Exhausted in leaned back and watched what I can only consider my handy work. A 50 year old + woman transformed into a barely 20 year old English sort of trailer trash type of guy. Hot but had a bit of an edge to him. And a young woman transformed into the hunkiest Asian stud I’ve seen since Bruce Lee hit the screen, but with about 50 pounds more muscle. They were smiling and laughing as they compared tats and stories about getting them.

Suddenly I thought of something that sent the newest in a series of chills that went down my spine.

“Hey… umm Mr. Orderly Person.”

“Rich. Ya, oh I’m sorry let me finish up. Cor, never done this before guys.”

Tak walked into the small bathroom I wasn’t allowed to leave my bed to use yet to wash out his shirt. With his back to me I could see his ass was even rounder and harder looking than mine. From what’s usually called a ‘panty line’ I could see he was into jock straps as much as I was. “Want to do it again sometime?” he asked Rich.

“That would be alright, yea. What’s your...”

“No wait I’m sorry. But with all this going on can someone check the guy in the next bed to make sure he’s OK. If we could have woken up Rach… Tak with all this, I’m just concerned..”

The orderly Rich pulled the curtain aside and quietly made his way to the other bed. After he lifted the curtain to check I could see the guy looked exactly as he always had. Still out of it. Still hooked up to machines helping him breath.

“Ahh, he’s fine. I’ll finish you up in two shakes and get out of here.” Rich said getting a fresh wash cloth and going to town on my chest. Didn‘t think muscles this hard could jiggle that much but, he was in a hurry. Tak started shaking out his shirt, trying to dry it off more. Even giving it the sniff test like any guy would to check for scents, but without any real plan if he found one. Other than just putting it back on.

All I could think of right then though was that it hadn’t effected the other guy. Why was that? He was in the same room. Closer than the Coach and Ricardo had been the other night. I hadn’t been thinking of him while we jerked off, was that the link? Or was the water from the washcloth the link? There had been water in the bowl when Barry shaved my head and when De’ and I fucked in the shower. But I’d taken showers before and after each instance, often with other guys like the rest of the wrestling team, and nothing. My head was swimming that’s for sure.

Soon enough though, Tak was back in the chair like Rachel was. Leaning his head back and relaxing like she did. And in moments snoring to heaven, about twice as loud as Rachel was. Worst of all, it was still pretty cute.

“You’re done mate. Not a word to the higher ups please, all right?”

“I will never forget what happened here but there’s no way I’ll be able to convince anyone what did.”

“Good man.” Rich said with another wink.

And with that he through the curtain back opening my side of the room to the world again. Leaving me pretty much where I was when he, or she he had been, came in. I’m in the hospital. I’m here for observation. One of my best friends is sleeping in the visitor’s chair waiting for the free lunch to arrive. Sure he had been a she about a half hour ago, but that’s pretty much been the rule instead of the exception the last couple of days.

De’ stuck his head in the room with a great welcoming smile that calmed me down some. “Hey, how you doing? Tak still asleep? Did they serve lunch yet?”

“Lunch?” Tak said waking up from his nap. Changing race and gender barely brings him to consciousness but free food…..we’re all still college students after all.

“Why are you naked?” De’ asked. I had forgotten to put the hospital gown back on.

“You know me, ah just like being naked.” I said not even attempting to get dressed again. It seemed like something Spice would do. And say. And that’s what I’m going to be doing from now on.

Fuck this. Fuck trying to figure this out and fuck trying to get to the bottom of this. If Gramps wants me to turn the campus into queer hunks, frankly, I’m at the point where that sounds like a great idea to me. I wouldn’t stop being a fag right now if I could and I don’t see what’s wrong with taking other with me if they turn out as great as De’ and Takashi here. Fuck it. It holding back doesn’t get Gramps to tell me what’s going on, then let’s see if I can blow a circuit on the whole fuckin’ curse. Maybe that’ll get his attention.

Spiced Life: Part 5

“You looking for someone in the stands, Spice?”

“Just lookin’”

“You need help looking?”

“Does blind as a bat me need help looking at dozens of faces hundreds of feet away? What makes you think that?”

De’ gave a quite laugh and stepped next to me to face the viewing stand in the arena. “OK, who or what are we looking for?”

“Anyone who looks like us.”

“Dude have YOU looked at us recently? Gigantic, bald Indian and the man who is chocolate perfection. We may be awesome but we’re not common.”

“Not that specific. Just more than healthy males, late teens to early 20’s of diverse ethnicity.”

“Anyone else on the face of the Earth ask me to do this, I’d wonder why. Coming from you…well. Not a big crowd tonight for your matches. What you got here is a charming turnout of older men and their video cameras. You know my football team has their own stadium which is usually packed.”

“That’s because the average football fan believes the players to be uncontrollable alpha males, who they and they alone, could tame. Quelling the player’s inner beast like urges to make them nice and presentable, if only given a chance. While also projecting themselves into your places in hopes of someone else forcing them to face their inner fears they can’t or won’t deal themselves. It’s a power and control fantasy over others rooted in a need to control their own unidentified wants. While the wrestling team is perceived even more the alpha male but too mindless to be anything other than the beasts they’re thought to be and thus, not worth the challenge to tame. Which is why you get the frustrated former high school athletes, the politicians and the housewives all living vicariously through you and we get the lonely dudes hoping to see one guy grab another guy on the crotch. Yes, we all love the football team.”

“Where did you…”

“Ah accidentally sat in on a psych course for two weeks before ah realized it wasn’t my Great Literature of the Eastern World studies.”

“It’s like I’m dating Rain Man.”

“You know Ah’m an excellent driver and a great fuck”

“You know you’re playing with yourself in front of all these people?”

“When you’re suited up, it called ‘Adjusting’. I’m adjusting myself. Baseball players do it all the time.”

“For 20 minutes?”

“Can’t help it if ah got more to adjust.”

“You need help adjusting?”

“Damn right ah do.” I grabbed De’ by the collar of his coat and made my way past the team waiting on the sides of the mats towards the stands. I took a quick second to grab my gym bag on the way. “Arif, if they’re ready for us and Ah’m not back, just call for me. Ah’ll be under the stands.”

“…..yes. Alright.”

“So you’re friends with this Arif guy now?” De’ asked as we went.

“No, just teammates. He’s just the one person out there that I’m sure will still BE out there in a couple of minutes. And if he catches us it’s not like he hasn’t seen it before.”

“And what is it he’s going to see?”

“Under the bleachers, chocolate perfection.”

I dragged De’ under the stands, making our way past and under the braces that kept them up. The floor was littered with dropped snags and cast off pieces of paper people had dropped from above. We could see people above, well parts of their asses and feet at least. Looking to the front of the stands we could see out and to the arena floor, but not real clearly. The only way anyone could really see us is if they came in the sides like we did. And people only did that when they wanted to do what we were going to do. Perfect. In the middle of a large crowd, but secluded enough that if I have sex, and the curse goes off, I’m in the perfect position to change a dozens of people at one time. Not onezees and twozees like up till now.

I lead De’ to the back wall, made one more quick look around. “Drop ‘em” I said letting go of his jacket and my gym bag.

“Are you kidding?”

“Are you deaf? Let’s go, Ah only got a couple of minutes. Come on. Good thing about the wrestling team…knee pads.”

I dropped to my knees, pushed his coat aside and started undoing his belt. With one hand I nudged his feet slightly more apart and pulled the zipped down with the other. I gave his jeans a good yank south.

“What are you 12? What are you wearing? Where did you get these drawr’s?”

“They’re the latest thing.” De’ said breaking out in one of those great smiles that make me love him all the more.

“They have fire trucks on them.”

“You don’t think it’s cute. Big black football player wearing little kid like underoo’s.”

“It’s adorable. We’ll buy ourselves new pairs for our next sleep over. Right now, I need that cock.”

You know, having really big hand that when they’re being used for lifting weights or molding clay day in and day out, they get rough, they get strong, and they get boyfriend’s underwear ripped off his body in one quick tug.

“Holy shit.” Was all De’ could get out before I threw my mouth around his already pretty hard pick.. Man I love cock. I could still taste the soap from when he showered earlier today, but there are so many other things here. Yea a little piss like taste but that’s OK, it comes with the territory. But De’ own flavor was so strong. When we kiss it’s like electricity. I’ve let my mouth roam over his body several times, his chest, his ass, and there are hints of his flavor here and there. But when I’m on his cock. Nothing in the world is like this. I never went down on the girls I dated when I was Henry, too afraid of getting my mouth in places where bodily discharges came out. One thing I’ve learned since becoming Spice, there’s nothing like.

De’ was off in a world of ecstasy, thank you very much, I AM good at this. His hands were playing with his nipples when his breathing started going up some. They went to his side and he braced himself against the wall a millisecond before he shot his load down my throat. Getting every drop so I didn’t hit the floor with cum on my singlet.

“For some one who just learned how to do that…”

“Learning curve goes up when you’re hot for cock.” I reached in my bag, pulled out a breath freshener and gave my mouth a couple of quick blasts. Then I grabbed the butt plug I went into Chicago to buy the other night after I got out of the hospital.

“You are kidding me.” He said as I flipped the straps of my singlet over my shoulders and quickly shucked the wrestling uniform down to my knees. I moved him aside, as he hiked his jeans back up, taking his place against the wall. Instead of leaning back against it, I braced my hands on it and stuck my ass out.

“Load me up. They’re going to be calling me soon. I want to be fully plugged when I hit the mat.”

“I’ve never used one of these before. Never really seen one, like, in person.” De’ said as he moved behind me and started playing with my ass. “You greased yourself up already? You do that in the locker room, you freak? You sure about this?”

“Lots of new stuff for us to try out and learn. I’d do it myself but I don’t think I could reach back there. What with being the muscle bound stud I am. I didn’t have time to draw you a map, guessed even a football player would know where to shove that thing. You do know were that goes, right?”

I tried to move back a little more to give him a better angle but…yea, I’d say he’d gotten the idea. One hand parted my ass while the other very smoothly but very forcefully shoved the plug up my ass. Neither the plug nor its base that would still be sticking out of me was the biggest the store had, but it should balance between being big enough to give me a charge and small enough that hopefully people who’d guess what’s going on once I get my singlet back up. De’ had it quickly in place and was wiggling it around some, hitting my prostate on and off.

“Ok it’s in, Wow. We’re getting more of these for our next sleep over too.” I grabbed his head for a quick kiss and pulled my singlet back up. When I bent over to reach it, the plug stayed in place, which was good since the plan was to wrestle with it in there tonight. Took a minute to compose myself while De’ retrieved my bag and his undies. “What do you think? Can you tell I’m packing a plug?”

“No that ass looks as gigantic as ever but no sign of anything. You sure about this?”

“Hell yea. I gotta get back and check the crowd again. I think I got an extra jock in there if you want.”

“No, I’ll just go commando tonight. Going from not even wanting to admit he’s gay to semi public oral sex and dildos within a month. My boy’s gone away to college and is growing up so fast.”

Didn’t think now was the time to go into how I’ve actually gone from being a 35 year old to19. Not exactly growing up in my book. Although, maybe experience wise maybe. Certainly broadening my horizons more that Henry did, if not just my asshole. We made our way back out from of the under sides of the stand and back into the arena. I started looking around the arena again to see if I could find anyone who matched the changes that the people I was effecting had gone through. The crowd looked the same, maybe a few ore people but no one different. But I still didn’t have my glasses or my wrestling goggles on.

“Check again, you see anyone that matches the description I mentioned earlier?”

“No, not really. Unless you mean those two. HEY, Tak and Rich, over here!!”

Ok, so us fucking under the stands didn’t turn anyone in the crowd into queer hunks. Kind of disappointed in that. And Tak and Rich certainly stood out so it’s not like we’re missing anyone who might have changed. It would be too obvious.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked as we met up with them.
“Came to cheer you on. Finally got a match tonight, right?” Tak said hanging on a bit to Rich. Who was hanging onto Tak. Well, that’s cool. They make a great couple. If I was going to turn them from women into gay men, at least they had each other.

“And it being free I’m sure didn’t hurt.”

“We like the free.”

“I got a go. Wish me luck.”

A couple of “WoooHoooo”s and “You da’ MAN” followed me as I made my way to the edge of the mats. I slipped on my goggles so things got a bit clearer. And my head gear so I’d be set. A couple of other matches were going on, not ready for me yet. That was OK. I looked over my shoulder and saw Arif still staring at me. What was up with this guy?

Then I looked farther over my shoulder and saw De’ talking to Tak and Rich. He motioned behind the stands, did some more taking, Tak and Rich looked at me and then clapped their hands in approval and gave me a thumbs up. De’ then leaned in, whispered a bit more, and the guys fell off their seats laughing. They quieted down so I gave a quick tug to the back of my singlet. And they laughed their asses off again, with De’ joining them. Something only real friends could get away with doing or be allowed to do.

The Ref motioned to Arif and me to take our places on the mat. Kind of strange that in one way, it’s been a while since Spice had any real competition on the mats. In another way, Henry has never done this before. Might be best to take what ever little shreds of Henry there is left and store them away till Spice wins this. Not that Spice’s cockiness was kicking in.

I hadn’t really noticed that Arif was still making unblinking eye contact with me till we got in the set hold, bent over, arms locked around each other’s head. I only had a second before the ref gave the signal. “Something up? Why do you keep staring at me?”

The ref threw his hand down, blew his whistle and we were off. The guy was good, I was better. He might have actually out classes me in strength. His arm went around my waist and trying to take me down but I was able to leverage out. Leaving me in the perfect position to grab at his ankles and trip him up. But it wasn’t quite time to go in for a pin, he’d just bump me off.

He got up again, we got into position and lunged into another head lock. As we spun around I noticed that my group of supporters was cheering me on like crazy. Including a couple of the older guys who had moved down from the upper seats to right next to my buddies, along with their cameras. Could they..?

“You saw me in the shower. I need you to forget you did that.” Broke my concentration of the group. He said before quickly, quicker than I gave him credit for, lunged down, grabbed my waste again and tossed me back on my ass. Got to say, landing on you butt plugged filled ass is really something you have to experience to know how it feels. Not bad, not good, but you DO FEEL IT.

Arif came in and got me down again, grabbing me between the legs and trying to flip me back. One heavy forearm reached from my ass to my dick, which was kind of getting off on this roughness. A quick glance over to the crowd saw nothing out of the ordinary, except that those guys had put down their cameras and were just staring. “I am married. My wife comes to states next month. She can’t know.” Arif said getting in close to whisper forcefully in my ear.

Again I was able to break out of his grip. He did have me in the strength department, but a good wrestler knows that agility will over come that if used correctly. While I’m no gymnast, and the term ‘muscle bound’ keeps getting used, I’m more agile than this brute. As a matter of fact, after I fully broke away, I distanced myself from Arif by doing a back flip. Learned to do that as a kid, practicing back flips over cactuses. You learn to do it right fast. When I landed it shook the plug pretty violently to where my teeth rattled. Didn’t figure on having to clench my ass this much to keep it in place. After that back flip though, that got the ref and the coach pissed but it gave me a half minute to let them ball me out so I could check the bench.

Yea, the two older guys were defiantly younger. Going from around 35 or 40 to what looked like older teens, if that. Certainly not into their 20’s. De’ and they guys obviously weren’t paying any attention to the change. But they seemed to be talking to the guys while this was happening. What the fuck could they be talking about? I looked around as I was being yelled at to see if I could find anyone else being set under this spell, but it was too hard to tell. Lots of younger guys, but at this point I don’t know if that’s a new state for them or if they walked in that way.

Shit, and I also had started throwing a boner. Was this something they were yelling at me about? Wasn’t paying attention. It’s kind of like thinking, so I try to avoid it. They finally finished and let us start up again. As our hands went around each other I was able to tell Arif “Why would I tell your wife that we were in the shower at the same time. What does it matter?”

A few more clenches and a few more throws and he replied, “That I was enjoying it.”

Oh man, fine whatever. I didn’t go from straight to gay to loving being gay to have to worry about someone else’s hang up with it. Wait, this guy used to be Krumwoodie so how is Arif married? And isn’t it sort of my fault that he’s gay now and not able to handle it. That’s when he threw me back again. Got to stop thinking. Got to let his hands start working on me.

A movement here and a movement there and Arif’s hands were in places that I hadn’t even let De’ get to yet. The feeling of the plug up my ass and the tight grips against the smooth fabric of the singlet was becoming overwhelming. The guys on the bench were in full bloom of the spell within minutes.

Hard to tell since they were in a sitting position but they looked around 5’5 maybe a little taller. Their shoulders were spreading out as their waist went in. A lot. Those original guys have been superesized at McD’ a few times too often. The hair on their heads started growing back in, one turning from a brown with gray to a deep black and the other a sandy orange to a deep black. They seemed to be shifting in their chairs more than most people who have been sitting on there benches for so long. Good chance there’s some ass adjusting going on and dick rearranging of their own. The hair turned curly, small curly not like Rich’s flowing mass of curls. With a shine to it that seemed like it has been greased a bit. More built up on top with shorter sides.

Shit, he pinned me, hold on. A quick back arch and I was able to get out of it. If the ref hadn’t been counting me down I would have let Arif leave me that way a bit longer. Had his hand cupping my crotch like a true pro. And he got a handful too.

Getting set again I gave the stands a quick look over again. No one. No one else fit the MO. All this work, all this fucking and a six inch wad of rubber up my ass and all I cold do I change two more guys. What the fuck’s the pattern here except I get my nuts off and up to two people change?

With their winter coats on I’m sure the boys, for that’s what they were now, didn’t think anyone would see their hands go down their pants. But if you’re looking for that maneuver like I was, seeing the smiles on their faces was just as expected. Speaking of the smile on those faces, aw crap, Arif got busy again.

Arif grabbed my arm and threw me over his shoulder. I landed right on my left cheek and the plug struck my prostate. Child birth had to be more enjoyable than that. Let’s get this over with. He lunged for me, I darted out of the way at the last minute, letting momentum get him on the matt. I scooted back and with my body, flipped him onto his back, laying across his stomach and grabbing his legs with my right arm, holding him down at the shoulders blade with the other. In this position he was perfectly placed for a count down.

“Your secret is safe with me. But that hard dick digging into my side tells me you’re going to have a harder time keeping it than anyone else who knows it.” And on a 3 count I had won.

The crowd cheered as much as they do in these college meets. Not like they do for the beloved football team. But my little cheering session was on their feet. Including my two new stud muffin fans.

As I thought their faces had changed not only at the same time, but to the same face. Square jaws, 5 o’clock shadow. Yea I think that’s called a Roman nose, giving them a very Italian look. Heavy eyebrows, even busy over sparkling blue eyes. That’s a nice touch. A slightly fuller lower lip than upper. Their crotches though big old wet stain. I caught their eye, they caught mine, I nodded to bit to bring their attention to the spreading stain and they buttoned their coats faster than anyone in history ever has.

Twins. I had created a couple of hunky Italian twins. Their coats now covered most of their build but the tuff of fur that poked out of their shirts hinted to a couple of hairy guys again. The fabric over their chest strained against some pert but meaty pecs. And big hands started clapping as the ref raised my arm up, showing me to be the winner. Arif and I shook hands. He seemed calmer now. Maybe he’s thinking about what I told him. Maybe it’s a cultural thing. Maybe it’s a family thing. Maybe he’s trying his best to live up to traditions even though his reality would shatter them. As much as it’s his new life now thanks to this fucked up fucking curse, it’s his life. I’m dealing with enough right now. Who knows, maybe this will all be over soon, everyone will change back into their real selves and he won’t even have to worry about it.

De’ gave me such a hug that I almost landed back on my ass. Would hate to think of him turning back into Barry. The Spice that has this history before my transformation had fallen for Barry. The Spice I’ve been living the past few weeks was deeply in love with DeAndre. More to think about when thinking is so hard to do there days. I got a few slaps on the back from Tak and Rich. Even the new boys joined in.

“Hey, have you met Tony and Angelo here?” De’s said introducing me. “They just joined the team.”

“The team?” I asked, with that sudden chill again.

“Yea, the wrestling team. You said the coach placed you while lunk head here was in the hospital, right?”

“Right. Nice to meet you Spice. Heard a lot about you from the rest of the squad. We’re late transfers up from Florida. Sorry to hear you were laid up. But it doesn’t look like it was too serious. You were AWESOME MAN!!”

“Glad you enjoyed the show.” I said giving another glace to their covered crotches. The two boys just started laughing like crazy, doubling over and confusing De’, Tak and Rich. “Hey, you three got to have your laugh earlier. The guys and I are enjoying our.”

“Hey, were they the guys you were looking for before? Did you know they were coming?”

“Uhhhhh, yea. Uhhh, the Coach? He told me about them but only gave vague descriptions. I hoped they would come by…… so I was looking for them……. so I could meet them. Yea.”

“How the shit does someone as big as you do a back flip like that? Wish I had a camera.”

Was it Tony or Angelo who asked that? Going to be hard to tell which of these boys are which. And this was coming from their ‘creator’. I was right, their cameras disappeared. Wonder if anyone else filming caught their transformation?

If their camera hadn’t have disappeared, it wouldn’t have survived the crash anyway. A lighting fixture crashed to the ground from the upper levels of the arena to within feet of where we were now standing anyway. Hitting the row of bleacher seat the guys had been sitting on. Exactly. Followed shortly by an even larger row of lights that hit the matt where Arif and I had just finished wrestling. Exactly.

As everyone jumped out of the way and the place was cleared I could help but remember that my Grandfather had warned me of danger. And I didn’t even have to ask if this was connected to what ever it was my Grandfather was up to. I just hoped he knew what he was doing.

Spiced Life: Part 6 – Final

I have to say that as concerned as I was about heading out for this evening’s entertainment, that the reaction the guys and I got when we entered the club was priceless. A small time men’s strip club just over the Wisconsin border wasn’t going to have the primmest beef in the land, but the boys on stage were doing OK. A bit too hairy but well into the ‘corn fed’ category. But frankly nothing compared to the 7 of us. The place got quite enough when we walked in, the place stopped when we took our winter coats off to reveal we sluttted ourselves up for the evening. What the hell, we’re college student with bodies built by a fuck curse and blowing off some steam before our trips home over the holiday break. Couldn’t help it if even the smallest member of our group made the guys on stage look like Don Knotts. Rest his soul.

The little tiny, lonely part of my brain that is not ruled by my dick is not sure that this is that great on an idea anyway. Great to get out and have some fun. But just a few of us together had to be the cause of the ‘accident’ at the arena the other night. Not to mention my being in a place where I’m going to get horny from the surrounding alone. I know the curse is going to go off at some time.

They gave us a big table in the corner, I think they’re trying to get the attention off of us and onto their own money makers on stage. We got a couple of “Who are you guys? Are you performing?” questions as we made our way over. We got comfortable, ordered drinks and gave Ricardo a couple of our jackets to sit on in hopes that they’d stop carding him every three minutes.

It was interesting how this came together. De’ had been trying to get me to go for a couple of week, and had already talked Rich and Tak into it. I made an off hand comment to the twins Angelo and Tony that we might be going and how embassassed I was at the idea, but they flipped for it, begging to go along. We actually ran into Ricardo on the way out, he was free and filled a place in the second car.

Which I wish I had been in because Rich drives like a nut. How did he get his license in the country?

So all of us are in this tiny club of a Friday night, except for Arif who I’m sure is safely closeted at home with the wifey right about now. Or. Just walking in and making a bee line to a dark corner in hopes of not being seen. That’s….. a coincidence?

“We seem to be drawing attention!” De’s screamed over the blaring music and cheers from the crowds facing the stage.

“We seemed to have all worn shirts without sleeves.” I yelled back.

“Oh yea!!!! Fuckin’ A!! MY BROTHERS!!! ONE TWO THREE” On that queue we all raised our arms and popped double biceps. This got us a round of free drinks for the managers, who knew how to keep the unpaid entertainment for the night happy.

The drinks went down and we got busy. De’ and I certainly did. Interestingly so did Tony, Ricardo AND Angelo. Someone’s not going to be able to complain about dwarf’s not getting any action before the night is over. The others sauntered down to the catwalk and started cheering on the boys. We didn’t have a lot to tip but we could give them attention like no others tonight.

As I deep tongued De’ the recorded music system started playing the old western rock song, “The Devil Went Down To Georgia.”

“I think we should make this our song” De’ asked

“One day Ah’ll tell you why ‘It’s Raining Men’ would be more appropriate.”

The crowd went wild as two guys, one dressed as a devil and on an angel came out on stage. They started a cute routine that matched the campy lyrics of the song. Couple of beefy Wisconsin boys that had been by the gym, and passed by a few times too often. De’ and my make out session was interrupted by the crowd suddenly going wild. We broke in time to see the ‘Devil’ character gain about 75 pounds of muscle. The stripper didn’t notice but...

“How’d they do that?” De’ asked pulling away and starting towards the stage.

“You can see that?”

“See the guy buff up? Yea. Don’t believe it. And, shit man, is he getting taller?”

This can’t be good. Shit they can all see it. Everyone in the club can see this guy change. He went from a pudgy former football player to a toned gym bunny in minutes. Chest was so big I thought he might be turning into a chick at first. Still male but must be the stripper element. Nipples were big and round and hard enough to cut glass. He was obviously enjoying the attention, but I don’t think he knew of his change. His partner though still looked normal and was still going along with the strip routine as if nothing different was happening.

“That’s INSANE. How they do that?!?!” Tak yelled.

The boots came off next maybe to give the feet and calves the room they needed to grow. Man was catching up to Arif in the bulk department and Tak in the muscles definition area. Still second best to me though. The g-string was getting fuller and fuller while the back end was getting meatier and meatier. Could barely see the top of the back strap coming out of his ass it was so big. Didn’t give much when he moved so it had to be solid.

“Why are they giving tickets away to this place? They should be in Vegas.” Rich said standing next to the twins who were slack jawed in disbelief.

As his hair started growing down his back and knotting into dreads, his skin started going deep black, much darker than even De’. The hair line moved back some, them a little more, then a bit more. At least I wouldn’t be the only folically challenged member of the group. A smile on his face that lent the devil image a naughty edge. The black stud made an impressive attempt at the splits and knelt down before his dancing partner. The angel on stage looked like he was ready to join the fun.

“This should be good.” De’ said anticipating another change from built lump to stud.

After shifting his hips back and forth a few times, making the feather wings on his back all but flap, the angel reached and ran his fingers through his short curly blonde hair. Getting a smile on his face that rivaled the devil stripper, angel ………yanked his own head off.

It fell forward taking most of his chest with it. Yet the body still stood arms out to each side. Fingers tensing into a grip then letting go, tensing and letting go. There was no rib cage exposed, no muscle just a hollow shell of flesh with a gagged rip for an opening. It’s when the blood started pouring out the top that the screaming started.

With different accents and a couple in different dialects the phase “Holy Shit” was shouted by 9 men in the room. As if on queue tentacles like arms burst out of the body shell and started reaching out. Dozens in different widths but with a couple of larger one that looked like they meant the most damage.

Our new Haitian member of the group still sat at its feet. Shocked beyond belief and in clear range of the arms. He tried to move but the blood that was flowing out of the creature made it hard for him to get traction enough to make it work. Out of no where Ricardo jumped up on the stage leaps across the Haitian and dragged him off the other side, out of harms reach. With the Haitian moved out of the way, it was clear the head, resting on the floor, was still very much alive and now had a better view of us too.

The one good thing about cheap dives like this is they don’t rotate out the old furniture when it’s too worn our out of style. So there’s always a lot of heavy metal chair you can pick up and start throwing. Which is what some of us started doing. Mainly it bounced off the creature, or was deflected by one of the tentacles. Arif had joined us on the floor and I motioned him to follow me. We ran to one of the round tables that was bolted to the floor, and pulled until it wasn’t bolted anymore. Pushing me aside Arif gave it a toss like the table was a discus. It flew and hit the creature side ways, almost knocking it off balance. Good, at least we knew it could be moved.

I heard a yell form the other side of the room as Rich ran up to the stage carrying two bottles of champagne in each hand. Like christening a ship he broke each on the stage’s edge and attacked with the broken glass left in his hands. Something tells me he’s been in bar fights before. He slashed at it like a surgeon, cutting deeper gashes in its flesh.

A tentacle wrapped its way around Rich’s neck and that wasn’t going to be acceptable to Tak. He had made his way back stage and attacked from behind, where the head couldn’t see him. And as Tak grabbed on and started pulling at the tentacles, was the electricity that was coming for Tak’s hands shocking the beast? It didn’t last long as both guys were thrown from the creature across the bar. They must have done some damage as the head was panting some, obviously shaken by the attack.

And then De’ jumped down on it from above. He must have crawled along the lighting rafter over the stage. Except this De’ had long claw like fingers, and teeth that could rip into the flesh, yanking large sections off. He saw something off to the side and jumped off in time to miss the flames that were shooting out of the twins Angelo and Tony’s eyes. Large sections started to burn and the pooled blood began to boil. Wildly the tentacles thrashed out and flung the twins aside

A quite burning has been building up inside of me. I thought it was the tension from this attack but it was almost a natural feeling. Like something I always had within me bit kept on a lower level.. A warmth. A power. Trying to get out. Needing a release. I stretched my left arm out pointing towards the creature as a ball of light flew fro my body. It encompassed the beast, seemingly slowing down its movements. Deep within the yellow sun like glow the clear image of golden eagle.

Someone behind me tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to find my Grandfather standing there. He handed me his casting stick.

“This is yours now.”

Two good steps to gather momentum, left hand on the edge of the stage to balance, legs go up and when they go over the head, arm pushed off the stage sending me into a flip which aims me directly at the creature but not before taking the casting stick in both hands and screaming for all it’s worth.

The stick enters the center of the beast and the world goes white.

When I come to I’m back on the club floor, facing the stage but flat on my ass. I can’t help but notice everyone around me is standing still. Like they’re frozen where in the stance they were in when the white blast went off. The stage is empty of the stripper or the beast I turned him into. Only my Grandfather. Standing at the edge, smiling down at me.

“You have done well my grandson. The great eagle has soared as never before and...”

“What the fucks going on!!!”

“The coyote is very tricky with only the sunset...”

“Cut the Yoda shit Grandpa!!! Ah’ve been fucking guys into becoming queer studs and the last one turned into an octopus hell monster that tried to kill us!!!”

“Well fine, be that way. You know how long I practiced this? Didn’t even get to the part about the mountain lions. Well help me down from here. I’m not going to spend all this energy to get solid just to break a hip.”
He was light as a feather but, solid. I lifted him off the stage and settled him on the club floor.

“Let’s head back to the bar. I know I need a drink.” He said shuffling off.

We made our way through the mess and the frozen people to the bar area. While he had just been a solid as anything I ever touched, Grandpa walked though the bar itself and started searching around the bottles.

“Not a decent bottle of scotch in the house. Hey, the bartenders are cowering back down here like little girls. I thought I’d hold everyone in tableau so we could talk in peace. So where do you want to start?”

“Well…..ummmm…..why am Ah Spice? Why did Ah change them? Why did HE turn into IT? What happens when we change back, ARE we going to change back now? What ..”

“OK, OK. Let’s start with who you are and who your friends are. You know the family history about your being the descendant of a long line of shaman, right?”

“Been beat into my head since the day ah was born. Since HENRY was born at least.”

“We’ll get to that in a minute. You are not just the latest descendant of this line, you are the greatest descendant of this line. Greater powers than mine, or my fathers, or his fathers. And so are they and so are their powers.” He said pointing to my guys. “For they too are the descendants of great wizards, magician, druids, spirituals… from the original tribes of man. Each from a different part of the world, each with a different name for that one member of their tribe with great mystical powers. They’ve passed down generation after generation till today, to this current generation where the powers, again, are far greater than any prior.”

“Do they know? De’ never said...”

“Some know, some don’t. Some will learn, some will move on. DeAndre’s family was killed by that creature we destroyed tonight before they could start teaching him. That shrimp...”

“Dwarf.”

“Yea the shrimp has been told of his powers but believes in them less than you. If that’s possible.”

“Wait, how could De’s family be killed if Ah turned Barry into De’? And Barry’s family wound up raising De’?”

“Barry? There is no Barry, never really was.”

“But Ah turned Barry INTO DeAndre. I was there, it happened while he was ridin’ ma cock. And ME, what about Henry, you saying I was never Henry!!!”

“No, you were Henry, and DeAndre was Barry, but neither Henry nor DeAndre were real. You’ve been thinking that you actions have been placing a curse or spell on these men, you’re wrong. You’ve been RELEASING them from the spells I and their descendants placed on them for protection. You haven’t been turning them into new people, you’ve been returning the back into who they were supposed to be. It’s a frog prince thing.”

“What?”

“It was predicted years ago that the original evil would try to make its move into the real world on this day, in this room. Up till now it was content to be the puppet master. Now it wanted to just plain be the master, of mankind. You all, being who you are, would be drawn here to fight it. And if we knew that, the evil would know it to. We found it would try to stop you by killing you all, one by one, to keep the events of today from happening. For while it couldn’t fight your gathered strength, it could destroy the lone individuals. It got to some. It tried for De’ but got his family. There should be a Russian and a young man from the Amazon, but they are gone and so ends their lines.”

“Divide and conquer.”

“Right. To ensure this would not happen to all we hid the rest of the real children. Created illusions of life for you to lead to keep you ignorant of your true selves. Thus the evil was ignorant. Some were made women, some like you were made older, and spread out around the world. When the time was right, they came here, to be freed by you.”

“But why me? How was making me a 35 year old straight dull version of myself hiding me?”

“OK, you’re going to think I’m gloating here but, you’re just too powerful. No matter what we did, we couldn’t totally hide your powers so, we left you the slightly obvious member of the group for the evil to watch. And by making Henry older, the evil would look for others around the same age of 35, not the true age of late teens. Like a slight of hand magic trick, you’re doing things over here…..while the others could live safely over there.”

“We ALL just happen to be the greatest….whatever medicine men/witch doctors whatever of our people and we ALL happen to come to this school at the same time? Like it’s like Hoggwarts or something?”

“Maybe it’s because Northwestern is a fine school with a great reputation? Sure, not everyone comes here to make clay pots and wear a different jock strap for every day of the month but it will still look good on a resume for what ever the hell it is you’re going to do when you graduate.”

“Henry got shit for being a lawyer, I get shit for being an artist. Have I not been driven crazy enough lately?”

“It’s family. Deal.”

“Why all the sex…..?”

“The sexual energy was the trigger to remove the spell. Had to be something. We could have had you need to walk up to all these people and say, ‘Do you mind holding my hand while I stick this fork in the electrical outlet?’ But fucking’s always more fun. I always found it was.”

“So all those times I had sex with the guys, afraid of turning the city into hunky gay teens, it wouldn’t have any effect on anyone else than those you had already placed under the spell. No one else was ever in danger of transforming. No one else would be effected.”

“I can’t help but think watching you get screwed by De’ wouldn’t have SOME effect on someone watching, but not mystically, no. Speaking of which, now that the job is done I’ll take you dick down to human proportions. WOOOOOOOO” He started waving his fingers at me till his face broke out in a great naughty smile Grandfathers get when they try a variation on the ‘Pull my finger’ joke.

“GRANDPA” I said grabbing my crotch.

“Just kidding, enjoy.”

“So we get to stay like this?”

“YES. Lordy. Get up to speed on this already, will you?”

“And I get to stay with De’!!”

“Have you seen that boyfriend of yours? Look over there.”

Grandpa pointed over to a corner of the club. Angelo had been hurt in the scuffle. Tony and Ricardo were helping him when the big blast hit. And standing between them and where the blast happened was my man, back flared, arms outstretched. Obviously threw himself between the end of the world and the people he could protect. He looked human again. That animal persona must have been part of his powers. Cool.

“He could have been like these two whimps back here and hidden. But he put the safety of the others before his own. Don’t you let him go. That’s pretty impressive shit over there.”

“Hand me another bottle, we’re not done yet. Why are we all male and gay and well, hunks?”

“The power has always passed down through the males. Don’t know why, just does. We might be connected to the ethereal plane but that don’t mean it came with an instruction book. As for gay…well, it was kind of decided that with all of you being so incredibly powerful that we needed to do something to limit the power growing even stronger in future generations. So you’re gay so you don’t have kids.”

“GRAMPS!!!! What the… Gays have kids all the time. They have for years. For generations!!”

“Well excuse us for not keeping up with the social advances of the day! We sort of had reality to keep together. Not really time to keep up with everything. With that in mind, I should mention that, what with De’ family gone, he’s going to have to father a child if his line is to continue.”

“Like my head’s not spinning enough. And the hunk part?”

“That’s just you guys. You gays and your muscles. Try to stop you.”

“So what do we do now? I’m the greatest and most powerful Shaman in the history of the Earth. And I’ve got a team of runner ups at my side. What do we do now? Join up, fight crime, do we get uniforms?"

“Yea, why don’t you go with the fire truck panties with the dildo accessories?”

“You saw that?”

“Most TeVo’d scene in the afterlife. We’re SO proud.”

“Well if you had just contacted me I wouldn’t have gotten so desperate...”

“SAVING REALITY, HANDS WERE PRETTY FULL!! Look, do what ever you want. You’re all on the right paths now. You’re all in control of your own destinies again. It’s not that the evil is gone, it’s just building its energy again. It will take a long time before it can even try anything again. You just need to be careful of Auntie Betty Brand Instant Pancake mix. It’s going to be discovered in two weeks that they use PLASTER for part of the mix instead of flour”

“What has that got to do with anything?”

“You want to eat plaster?!?!?! Just trying to help here. Had some inside info I thought I’d share.”

“That creature tried to take over the world starting with a cheap ass men’s strip club in Wisconsin?”

“I thought that was pretty smart of it. Who’d think of watching this place for a door way to hell opening up?”

“And that evil thing…….was evil”

“Enough with the 20 questions already. Yea, it was evil. Just evil. Nothing less than evil. Every action has a reaction and both create energy. The energy that the evil in the world has been building since a millisecond after the energy of good in the world started building. It thought it was hot enough shit to take over, you proved it wasn’t. Can I release them and get going. We’ll talk later on, once things have settled down. There’s a nap out there with my name all over it.”

“Ok, OK. We’ll talk when I come home?”

“We’ll talk.”

“You’re going to release the now?”

“Yes. First I will release your friends. Then the rest of these people when you’re at least 50 miles away. No one will come in, no one will see you leave.”

“Why’s that?”

“You want to pay for this mess? You ready?”

“Just a moment.” I ran over to the stage, sat on the edge and readied the bottle of beer I had so I would be found drinking it down when they came back to reality. “Make for a more impressive reveal.”

“You’re already getting good at this."

“Love you Gramps.”

He mouthed "Love you too" as the white light returned, filling the room. This time, when it went down, my friends were free to move, and found me, as I planned, chugging one back on the stage.

“Howdy boys.”

“SPICE!!!” De’ said running up to me. “What the hell happened, what’s going on!!!”

Pretty much got the same from everyone else, all at once.

“OK, everyone calm down. It’s all over. We’re all safe. Grab a chair and listen up. Going to tell you what ma Grandfather’s been up too…..”

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