O’Melissokomos
The Bee Keeper

A Very Hairy Day

by Ventrego

Let me tell you about the day the monkey's paw showed up at the shipping depot.

We've got three drivers. Kasim was getting coffee. He's just under six feet tall, a fit, light-skinned middle eastern guy with thick, black hair and a moustache to match. I've walked in on him in the shower, and let me tell you, that black hair isn't just on his head.

Tom was the pudgy one over by the time clock. He'd rather I called him "solid", and since he's 6'3" I call it his way whenever he's around. Nobody knows if he's going bald or not 'cause his head's always shaved.

Finally there's Bruce. I'm not sure what Bruce was doing by the plant and the window. He's about 5'9", caucasian, nice thick brown hair, and permanent stubble. Bruce isn't pudgy; he's fat, and carries it damn well. Someone cracked a line at him once about his waistline; one belly bump later the guy was on the ground wondering what hit him. Bruce is a sweetheart unless you push one of his buttons. Bruce is just fine with his waistline, and so are you.

Me, I'm the clerk; the guy that runs the desk. It means a lot of paperwork and some phone time, but the drivers do all the pickup and delivery so I don't normally have to deal with customers.

I was finishing the paperwork to send with the guys when a little Chinese kid walked in, looking scared. Being around these guy has that effect on people . I know it took me a few weeks to get used to the testosterone level in the shop.

"Hey, kid," I said, smiling at him. "What's up?"

The kid shuffled up to the desk and stuck out his arm. Sitting on his palm was what looked like a dried-up hand with four fingers. I'll admit I gasped.

The other guys were around the desk right away. First fifteen minutes of the morning are pretty boring at the shop, so anything different draws an instant crowd.

"Hey, what is that?" said Tom from way up high.

The kid stood on his toes and pressed the thing into my hand. "You worked late to make sure my grandfather got his heart medicine in time. My grandfather says to give you this."

"Uh..." I said. The kid pulled his hand back. I had to either take the thing or drop it. It didn't feel like something I wanted to be touching; I held it between my thumb and index finger.

The kid jumped back. His voice was a little too high for comfort. "It grants wishes. But don't use it." He looked at the faces looming down at him. "Something terrible will happen to you!" The kid took a step backwards, then ran out the door like we were going to eat him.

I blinked at the thing stupidly.

Kasim took it from me; I'll admit I was fine with that. He chuckled. "Grants wishes, huh?"

Bruce began to laugh. "Yeah, but something terrible will happen!"

Tom and I joined in the laughter.

Kasim's face changed slightly. One of the fingers on the paw pulled in tight, leaving three extended. I noticed, but the other two guys were too busy laughing.

"Uh...guys?" I said.

Tom was still laughing. He saw Kasim holding the paw, looking at it uncertainly. Tom's voice could be frightening when he wanted, but it was a good-natured gruffness that said, "Gimme that!" as he yanked it away.

Kasim barely noticed, but Tom was watching him intently when the second finger dropped.

"Hey," said Bruce good-naturedly. "You can't hog all the fun!" He'd barely touched the paw when the next finger curled.

The three of us were left staring at a mummified paw that had moved. There was a long silence.

I held out my hand. Tom and Bruce dropped it in my palm without another word.

"OK, guys," I said. "Enough fun. Here's your loads for the day." I dropped the paw into my desk drawer, then I handed a stack of paper each to Tom, Kasim, and Paul. They took them a little sheepishly.

"It's probably nuthin'," said Tom, the usual boom gone from his voice.

"Yeah," said Bruce, scratching his stubble. "Nothing."

Kasim twitched his lips from side to side. "Look how silly we're all being."

That little Chinese kid put a damper on our morning mood. I tried to reassure everyone after they'd finished grabbing their coffee and were heading out the door.

"Remember, safety first!" Good.

"We wouldn't want anything terrible to happen."

Ouch.

Ever feel like your foot should stick in your mouth and just stay there?

---

It was two boring hours before ten o'clock rolled around and Kasim came back.

He dropped the stack of papers on my desk. "Sorry if any of those are sticky."

I grinned. "Couldn't wait till you got back today, huh?"

He grinned back. His upper lip was almost completely hidden by his thick moustache.

"Well, I know the routine," I said. "You've got the shower for ten minutes."

Kasim disappeared and I barely had time to sort the return paperwork when Tom stepped in and pulled his white tee-shirt up to his beefy shoulders, exposing a lightly furry torso that had seen gym sessions followed up by the buffet.

I whistled appreciatively.

"Not bad, right?" said Tom as he dropped the paperwork on my desk. "I may not be as hairy as Kasim, but I could show off at a bar if I wanted."

"Of course," I said, thumping the side of his ab. "But if you're heading to the men's room, you better give the hairy guy a few more minutes."

The shirt pulled back down with a rustle. "Crap," said Tom. "I'll be getting coffee or something."

The guys usually return about the same time, so I was expecting Tom to come back. I wasn't expecting him to return with a stubble-or was it a beard?- nearly an inch long.

"Tom - you're looking...fuzzy," I said as he handed over his paperwork.

He scratched at his cheek; the very tip of his finger disappeared into the not-quite-a-beard growth. "Thanks," he said. "To tell you the truth, I've been thinking about letting it grow out." His gorgeous brown eyes looked straight into mine. "Do you think I should?"

I swallowed hard, but tried to keep the tone light. "Can't hurt to try, right? I mean, you can always trim it later."

"Yeah." He smiled, still scratching. "Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Got my outgoing?"

I handed him another stack. "Thanks," he said.

Kasim stormed out, still buttoning up the blue uniform shirt he liked to wear to deliveries. The second thing I noticed was his thick bushy moustache that completely hid his upper lip and was beginning to curl to the sides.

"Damn Tom," Kasim growled. "He needs to stay out when he knows I'm in there!"

I glanced at the clock. "It's been more than ten minutes, buddy."

Kasim glared at me. "I wanted to go twice! Man, I'm still feeling pent up. I gotta hit a bar after work. Those mine?"

He snatched his delivery pages from my hand and stormed off out the door.

Tom came out a few minutes later. He picked up his outgoing and left without another word.

---

It was two o'clock before I saw the guys again. They get an hour break to eat, plus traffic's always worse around lunch time.

Tom made it back first again. When the shirt came up, I gasped. His light fur had thickened and filled in to a solid pelt of dark fuzz that spread from his shoulders to his waistline.

"Nice, huh?" he grinned as he dropped the paperwork on my desk. "I'll show Kasim who's the hairiest guy here."

Tom was gone before Kasim returned. His moustache had left the edges of his mouth and curled halfway across each cheek. As he traded paperwork with me, he twirled it in his fingers and said, "If I tell you something, will you keep it quiet from the other guys?"

"Sure."

"Hang onto that paw thing. This..." He tugged one side of the moustache straight out; it reached nearly to the edge of his face. "I come. It grows. And oh, man," Kasim began to laugh. "...have I been coming today!" He held up a twelve-ounce waxed paper cup and sloshed it gently. Nearly two inches of liquid filled the bottom.

I goggled. "You're serious." He grinned and tossed the cup in the trash.

He rifled through the pages I held out for him, then handed a few back. "I can't do this all today. I'm gonna be doing more jacking off than driving."

He was gone before I had a chance to respond.

"You know, normally I'd have to fire you for telling me that," I said quietly to the room, flipping through the pages he'd returned. "But today's special. None of these are critical for today."

I grudgingly set them on the "in" stack I'd just managed to empty.

Then Bruce walked in, a fat man with a rather generous brown beard down to the collar of his tee-shirt.

"Bruce?" I said. My voice might have cracked a little.

"Yeah?" he said, trading stacks of paper with me.

"Your...beard."

His eyes met mine again. "You think I should trim it, don't you?"

My hands shot up, palms towards him. "No! It's just...different. Good! Good different."

"Good?"

I smiled. "Oh yeah. Good."

He smiled back. "Great. Call me on the radio when you've got the dinner order, I'll bring back burritos."

---

By five o'clock, I'd left the dinner order with Bruce; he was bringing dinner over in a few minutes.

I was looking forward to seeing the guys again. It's always good to be done with the day's deliveries, but today I was hoping for more.
I wasn't disappointed.

Tom, as always, showed up first. And shirtless, he really made an entrance, saying, "Check me out!"

I couldn't help it. His entire body was covered in tufts of thick dark fur. There were no boundaries, from the bottom of his skull to the roll over his belt, he'd grown a thick pelt of dark brown hair. In front, his chest hair had merged with the neckline of his beard. As he posed to show off, I saw his chest was nearly invisible beneath a one-inch mat of thick dark curls, and his pits looked like a piece of grizzly bear pelt.

"Shower time," said Tom, running his fingers into his chest fur. The fingers nearly disappeared. I was still drooling a little when he added, "Make sure Kasim knows I'm in there."

As if on cue, Kasim appeared in the doorway. His eyes widened when he saw Tom's hairy body. The crotch of his pants was bulging obscenely. "You!" he bellowed. "The shower is mine! You stay out!"

Tom kept heading for the back door and patted his furry shoulder. "You get the bathroom this time. I get the shower. My hair's all...sweaty." He stepped through the door and we could hear the water start up a few moments later.

That's when Kasim turned to me, and my attention was pulled away from Tom. I saw.

Kasim's moustache had grown into two long, thick swooshes that reached from shoulder to shoulder. His upper lip was a hairy mass of bristles, and his lower lip was only visible where they the moustache split.

"Nice fuckin' stache!" I said sincerely.

Kasim grinned. The entire hairy extension moved a quarter-inch up when he did so.

"Still...growing?" I said.

Tom's voice carried clearly through the thin wall dividing the office from the employee dressing/shower area. "Oh, mnan, is this a lot of hair to clean!"

Kasim's grin vanished. "No. I got out of the truck and the door caught one side of the monster stache." He grabbed the hair in his fist and pulled by way of demonstration.

"Oh man," I said.

Bruce walked in. His face from the nose down was invisible beneath an overgrowth of beard that sprouted down to envelope half his chest.

Bruce paused for a moment and started rustling through the bag of burritos.

"Hurt like a sumbitch," said Kasim. "It was terrible!"

"Oh no!" yelled Tom. "We're out of shampoo! This is terrible!"

Bruce looked at me and said through his untamed beard, "They forgot to give us napkins! This is terrible!"

The monkey's paw somehow rolled onto my desk, the single finger still extended.

I'll admit I fell off my chair laughing. It was quite some time before I recovered enough to tell the guys why.

---

After a good burrito dinner - we used paper towels from the men's room instead of napkins - we were all seated in the break area. The lights were off and the door locked out front. The guys seemed happy enough but tired from the day's delivery and other events.

I had the paw with me and held it up. "So the kid was right. It grants wishes."

Bruce nodded from behind his massive chin forest. "Yup."

I looked from one to the other. "And they've stopped now, right? And something terrible happened to each of you."

Kasim nodded and tugged at his shoulder-to-shoulder Western stache. "Yes. It was terrible! Are you saying it wasn't terrible?"

Tom fingered the hair curling over his collar. "Well, mine was certainly terrible." I looked at him. He added, "And I can tell I've stopped sprouting."

Bruce chuckled from behind his massive chin forest. "Yup, I think I've stopped too."

I looked at the paw and wished intently.

The final finger curled up. The guys stared at it, wide-eyed.

Tom leaned in, thick dark hair tufting out over his entire shirt collar. One hand went to his crotch without his command. "What's up buddy, you want something terrible to happen to you?"

I waited for several long moments. Tom swallowed hard. The other two drivers were spreading their legs wider and shifting awkwardly in their seats.

I grinned at the generous facial hair on all my co-workers. "I'm counting on it."

END

So whaddya think? Type in the code
Reset code