______________________ (hypno)
by Walter Ego
I was in a pretty good mood. My ex-roommate Rob had called. He was in town for a few days and wanted to know if we could get together.
I was happy to. I told Denise I was going to meet him and drove over to his hotel.
It was funny, I thought. I don’t remember spending a lot of time with him. We were usually studying, or going to the cafeteria, and occasionally going to the same party. We didn’t have a lot in common, really, but for some reason, I always seemed to look forward to seeing him back when I was in school. Even after fifteen years, I was feeling that way again.
When I got to the hotel, I found him in the bar. He waved to me.
“Well,” he said after we shook hands, “you certainly look good.”
I lauged. “Have to take care of myself.”
“Let’s see how everything else has turned out.”
It was an odd thing to say. “What do you—?”
And he said a couple of words. I don’t know what they were, only that they struck me as strange and making no sense.
But that didn’t matter. I felt a soft fog coming over my mind. It was so hard to think, and it didn’t matter as I relaxed into a state of bliss. It has been a long time since I had felt so good, and I hadn’t realized how much I missed it until now.
“Well, well,” said a familiar voice. It was coming from Rob. “Nice to see it still works. Come with me.”
I got up. Rob had told me to do something, and that was all that mattered. I walked with him, a few steps behind. It was funny, like he was the only thing in focus. Oh, I could see other people, but they were fuzzy and unimportant. The details of the room escaped me. All I could see was Rob. The feeling was oddly familiar.
In a few minutes, we were in his room. I felt very good, very happy, very docile. A part of me wondered what was going on, but it wasn’t all that important. Rob was.
“Take off your clothes and let me see you.”
The request was perfectly normal and reasonable, and I knew I wanted to do what he said. I quickly took off my jacket, my shirt, and pants, my shoes and socks, my underwear. I found myself becoming hard.
“Very good,” said Rob, looking me over. “Kept after yourself, I see.” He walked over to me and gently cupped my balls. “Nice to see them again.”
I didn’t know what he was talking about, and didn’t care. But his words made me feel good all over.
Rob kissed me, his tongue probing my mouth. It felt so good to be doing this again. Again? I had never kissed a man before, let alone Rob. But it still felt good. But that, too, was a vagrant thought of little importance. I kissed back.
I broke the kiss. Words came to my mouth, unbidden. “I love you.”
Rob, my love, chuckled. “Of course you do. Now help me with my clothes.”
I did as I asked. It was strange, yet very familiar. But I didn’t think about that. Rob had asked me to take off his clothes, so I did as he asked.
He was still in good shape (still? How did I know?). I slipped off his shirt and rubbed my hands over his warm chest, teasing his nipples. It felt good beneath my fingers.
I reached for his belt and teasingly (what?) unbuckled it. His pants fell to his ankles, and he kicked it off with a smile that I knew was just for me.
I placed my hand on the front of his underwear. His cock was already becoming stiff, and I ran my hands along it.
Once again, I heard the questions in the back of my mind. Why was I doing this? Why did this seem so familar—and so good? “What’s happening?” I whispered.
He lifted my head so I looked into his eyes. “You want to remember, don’t you?”
I nodded. His gaze was so deep in mine. I couldn’t look away.
“You also feel good. Happy. Relaxed.”
“Relaxed,” I agreed. I had reached into his underwear and was stroking his cock. It felt so good in my hand, so familiar. I had never touched a man’s cock before. Or had I?
“Suck me and you’ll remember. You want to remember, don’t you?”
“Remember,” I whispered. I sank to my knees.
His cock was stiffening, nine inches of beauty. It looked so nice, so familiar, so exciting.
“Go ahead,” he said.
I didn’t need another word. I licked the tip, then took it slowly and sensually into my mouth.
And I remembered.
* * *I hadn’t liked Rob much. There was something about him that didn’t strike me as being right. Maybe it was the way he looked at me when he thought I wasn’t looking, as though I was some sort of dish on a particularly tasty menu. But he never said anything, and the college would never let you change roommates in the first term, so I resolved myself for a year of tolerating him.
College was harder than I though. I struggled through my first term, but my grades were a bit weak and I was having a hard time keeping them up. If they dropped too low, I’d lose my scholarship. The pressure became too much for me and I was finding it hard to fall asleep. It was worst before my first big test in English. I couldn’t afford to blow it, but the stress made it even harder to concentrate. I was afraid I’d blow it all.
Rob noticed. “Man, with all your tossing and turning, I don’t think I slept a wink last night.”
I apologized. “Things have been a bit tense lately.”
“Tell me about you. You need to relax, and I know just the thing.” He sat down on the bed next to me. “Take a look at this.”
He held up a small crystal on a string. It was spinning, very slowly, catching the light. Sparkly and somehow fascinating. “What is it?” I asked.
“Just a crystal,” he said. “A very pretty crystal. That’s all. So pretty. So nice to watch. Watch it carefully. Doesn’t it make you feel relaxed?”
I watched. “I don’t know . . . .”
“Try relaxing your muscles as you watch.”
I was wary. “Is this some sort of hypnosis?”
Rob laughed. “Of course not. Hypnosis is fake. You ever see a hypnosis show?”
I nodded. I couldn’t take my eyes off the light.
“It’s all show. Everyone is pretending. The hypnotist finds a bunch of extroverts who love to show off and they do what he tells them. They don’t really get sleepy. You’re not getting sleepy, are you?”
“No,” I said.
“You’re not finding yourself becomming weak and compliant, are you?”
“No.” My voice was barely above a whisper.
“And you certainly aren’t going to listen to me and obey my commands.”
I tried to say no, but I felt too relaxed. I shook my head slowly, not wanting to lose sight of the light.
“Good,” said Rob. “Keep relaxing, then. You need to relax; you told me so. You want to relax more. My voice is soothing. It calms you. Your cares are floating away as I speak to you. Every word I say makes you feel better. But I am not hypnotizing you. You probably don’t even want to be hypnotized.”
“Hypnotized,” I whispered.
“No. You just want to relax and listen. The more you listen, the more you relax, and the better you feel. If you want to shut your eyes now, you can, but can imagine the crystal still. You don’t have to, of course. I’m not hypnotizing you. That’s what it’s OK to shut your eyes. Go ahead. You have my permission.”
My eyes shut. The darkness was relaxing, but I could still see the beautiful light. I could feel myself go deeper into a near sleep.
“Good,” said Rob. “Now, right now, you can hear only my voice. Nothing else matters. You’re not hypnotized, of course, but you know that my voice is what you need to hear. To relax and pass your courses. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” I said. My own voice sounded so far away.
“Good. You like the sound of my voice, don’t you?”
I couldn’t speak. I nodded. My chin dropped to my chest.
“You want to hear the sound of my voice. Not because you’re hypnotized; hypnotism is just a game. But because my voice makes you relax. Relax for me, Joe. Relax more for me. Feel yourself falling down into total relaxation.”
My muscles were like water. I could barely stay seated. I started to lean.
“Don’t fall, Joe. You’re relaxed but can sit upright. Are you hypnotized?”
“No,” I mumbled. “Not hypnotized.”
“Of course not. And the more you realize that, the more you can relax. You are more relaxed now than you ever have been, aren’t you? But you will relax more and more. And there’s one more thing you need to do. Do you want to know what it is?”
“Yes.” I wasn’t thinking, just answering.
“I will tell you a phrase. When you hear the phrase, you will return to this state of joyous relaxation. Can you do that for me, Joe?”
I nodded.
“The phrase is ______________________. When I say it, you will return. And you will forget the phrase immediately. That’s fine, because this isn’t hypnosis. Understand?”
“Yes.”
“What is the phrase?”
“______________________”
“Good. And what happens when I say it?”
“I will return to this relaxation.”
“And?”
“And forget what the phrase is.”
“Good boy. Very good. Now, it’s time to wake up. When I count to three, you will be awake and alert and feeling completely refreshed. Almost like in hypnosis, only you know you haven’t been hypnotized. You will not worry about the test; it will go perfectly. And you will be grateful for what I’ve done. Are you grateful?”
“Grateful.”
“Good boy. Now I will count. 1. Feeling a little more alert. 2. Almost away. 3. Fully awake.”
I blinked my eyes. Rob was sitting by me. “How was that?” he asked
I thought. “Great. I feel better than I have in days.”
He grinned. “Now you can take that test. We can talk later.”
* * *I sailed through the test. Rob had been a great help to me, because I wasn’t tense at all. The answers came easily to me.
I was all smiles when I returned to the room.
“How’d it go?” Rob asked.
“Great!” I said. “I may have aced it, thanks to you. I owe you.”
He gave me a grin. “One of these days, I’ll take you up on that. In fact, there’s no time like the present.”
“What do you mean?”
“______________________”
“What are you . . . ?” But my question died. I felt myself becoming relaxed, my mind muddy, my muscles melting.
“That’s right, Joe. You know what those words do to you, even if you can never remember them. You know. They make you relax.”
“Relax,” I muttered. I felt so good. I could barely stand.
Rob seemed to know. “Sit on the bed beside me, Joe. it will make you feel even better.”
I nearly stumbled but sat on the bed beside him.”
“You feel better, don’t you, Joe?”
“Better,” I said. I smiled.
“Good. And you know why you feel better? Because you did as I told you. You will always feel better if you do what I tell you. Isn’t that true?”
“Yessss,” I said dreamily.
“That’s right. Because whatever I tell you is the truth.”
Something about that bothered me. “Everything?”
“Yes. Everything. You will agree to this and feel even better. Say you agree.”
“I agree,” I murmurred.
“Everything I tell you when you are in this state is the truth. Repeat that and feel even better.”
“Everything you tell me is the truth,” I said. The words flowed out, and I felt wonderful. It was true. Everything he told me was the truth. I know because he told me so, and it was the truth.
“Good boy. Now, I want you to open your eyes and focus on me. You will stay in this state but focus on me.”
I did as he said. He was sitting beside me. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
“You like looking at me, don’t you?”
“I like looking at you.” I did. What he said was the truth.
“And you’re thankful for my help with the test. You’re very grateful.”
“Grateful,” I agreed.
“Very grateful. As a matter of fact, you’re falling in love with me.”
“What?” That sounded wrong. I knew that whatever Rob told me was the truth, but that wasn’t right. He was a guy. I don’t love guys.
But whatever Rob told me was the truth. I felt confused.
“What’s the problem, Joe? You’re falling in love with me.”
He said it again. It made it truer. But it didn’t seem right. “I’m not gay,” I said.
Rob laughed. “Who said you were gay? I only told you you were falling in love with me. Purely platonic. No sex at all. Just look at me. Look at my face.”
I did as he said.
“You find me very attractive. You love the look of my face. The more you look at it, the happier you are.”
It was all true, of course.
“Do you feel it? Do you feel yourself falling in love with me?”
“Yes,” I mumbled. It felt so good to see his face.
“Say you’re falling in love with me.”
“I’m falling in love with you.”
“Yes, you are. Now, keep falling, deeper and deeper in love, more and more relaxed. You’re not gay.” He mumbled a syllable under his breath; it might have been, “yet,” but it didn’t matter. “But you do love me, Joey.”
“I love you,” I said.
“Good boy. And when you fall into this state, when you hear the words ______________________, you will want to be called Joey. It will make you feel good. Isn’t that right Joey?”
I hadn’t been called Joey since I was eight. But I wanted it. “Yes.”
“Why is that, Joey?”
“Because I love you,” I said with all my heart.
“Good boy. You’ve done pretty well today and I think it’s time to end things for now. In a minute, I will count to three and you’ll wake up. You will still be in love with me, but you must keep that a secret—from me, and even from you. You won’t tell anyone, but you will know it’s true. Understand?”
“i won’t tell anyone.”
“That’s because they wouldn’t understand. You know it’s perfectly fine to be in love with me and not be gay. But others won’t understand, will they, Joey?”
“No. Wouldn’t understand.”
“But, as time goes by, your love for me will grow. It will be real. Just a secret that only you know.”
“A secret.”
“And you won’t even know it. It will be buried deep in your subconscious, but your conscious mind won’t realize it. You will treat me just as your roommate. Your good friend and roommate.”
“My roommate.”
“Good boy, Joey. Now I’m going to count. One. You’re beginning to come out of this trance. Two. You’re forgetting my commands, but will remember them when you hear the magic words. Three.”
I blinked. Rob was sitting in front of me with a slight smile on his handsome face. “Sorry, I must have zoned out.”
“No problem,” said Rob. “No problem at all.”
* * *The next few days were busy ones. I saw Rob while studying or coming back from class, but he just said “hello” and made small talk. I did find myself looking at him a bit more. Daydreaming about something.
Finally it was the weekend. I partied a bit Friday night, even getting a couple of definite maybes. I slept in on Saturday.
When I woke up, Rob was there. It somehow made me feel good. “Hi,” I said.
“______________________” he said.
Once again, I felt confusion, replaced by relaxation. I was falling, drifting, floating. All at once. I felt so good and my eyes fluttered shut.
“How do you feel, Joey?”
“Nice,” I said.
“That’s good. We have a lot to do today, and I want you feeling nice.” I heard him moving. “Now, Joey, open your eyes.”
I did as Rob asked. I saw his face in front of me, smiling at me.
And I felt myself melt. My insides went runny.
“Do you have something to say to me, Joey?”
Indeed I did. “I love you,” I said. It felt so good to say it.
“And I love you, too, Joey.”
There is no way to express how happy I felt to hear those words. It was as though everything in the world was perfect.
“And since we love each other, we can kiss. You want to kiss me, Joey.”
And because everything he told me was the truth, I DID want to kiss him. “No,” I said.
“Why not?”
“I’m not gay.”
Rob nodded. “No, you’re not. But we have all weekend.” He took something out of his pocket. It was the crystal and it began to spin evenly. I remembered it from a few days before.
“That’s it Joey. Let it relax you. It’s like taking a nap. You don’t want to look away.”
I didn’t want to look away. It felt so good, like being in love but tenfold. I just kept looking and relaxing. Occasionally, Rob would say something, give me directions, showed me how to keep feeling better.
I had never felt happier.
“Who do you love, Joey?” Rob asked.
“You,” I said, not taking my eyes from the crystal. “I love you.”
“And you want to kiss me. You even want to make love to me.”
It was true of course. It bothered me. “I’m not gay,” I said.
“You’re right, Joe is not gay. But you’re not Joe now, are you?”
“Not Joe?”
“No. You’re Joey.”
He was right. “I’m Joey.”
“Good boy, Joey. Do you remember being gay, Joey? When you first began to notice boys?”
“I . . . no.”
“Sure you do, Joey. Just think back. When you were in summer camp. You were in summer camp, right?”
Was I? I didn’t think so, I didn’t want to argue. “Yes,” I said.
“You were. Camp Cherokee. You were twelve. It was a great summer. You played baseball, swam, did arts and crafts, studied nature, rode horses. You remember doing all those things. And liking them. Do you remember now?”
I did remember. I wondered how I had ever forgotten. I liked the arts and crafts especially.
“It was a great time, wasn’t it?”
“A great time,” I agreed.
“Now, close your eyes. You don’t have to watch the crystal any more.”
I closed my eyes.
“Can you see the light?”
It was still blinking. “Yes.”
“Good. But as you watch it changed. It grows. It becomes a scene of something that happened at summer camp. You will watch it, and remember.”
“Remember,” I said.
“Good. It’s a summer night. You wake up have to get up to go to the bathroom. Can you see it?”
“Yes.”
“Where are you? Look around.”
I could see the room. There were several bunk beds around me. I was on the lower bunk.
“Now, you get up to go to the bathroom. It’s in the back of the cabin. Watch it happen and stop at the bathroom door.”
And I did see it. I got up, having to pee. I walked to the back of the dorm, passing the other sleeping boys. I stood in front of the door.
“Are you there?”
I nodded.
“In a minute, you will open the door. You will see your counselor. His name is Bob. He is a very handsome man, five years older than you.”
“Handsome.”
“He will be masturbating. His cock is big, very much bigger than yours yet. He is too close to stop, and you will watch him cum. Understand?”
“Will watch.”
“Good, Joey. The door swings open . . . now.”
I was looking into the bathroom. Bob was on the toilet, his cock big and hard. I stared at it as his hand moved faster and faster up and down the shaft. He was panting and giving off deep moaning sounds in the back of his throat. Then, a white spurt erupted at least two feet in the air, following by several more. The cum covered his chest. I stared at it.
“Did you see it?”
“Yes,” I said.
“How did it make you feel?”
I tried to remember. “I don’t know.”
“Then I’ll tell you. It made you feel turned on. Your little boy cock became stiff. Remember that feeling?”
I remembered the little stiffie had had. It felt good. I was confused about everything else, but it felt good. “Yes.”
“Good. And what did Bob say next?”
“Don’t remember.” I just remembered I had a stiffie.
“He said, ‘Get the hell out of here, faggot.’”
Of course. I remembered that. I remembered how embarassed I felt that I had gotten stiff.
“So you went back to your bed. You lay down, but couldn’t get the image out of your mind.”
I remembered it.
“You began to play with your cock. Remember that?”
My hand reached for my cock. It felt good. So good. I licked my fingers, to get them wet like I had seen Bob’s hand. “Yes.”
“It was the first time you jerked off. And when you think of Bob’s cock, when you think of his cum, you get hotter. It feels better.”
I remembered imaginging Bob’s cock. I could feel myself getting bigger and bigger, hotter and hotter until ..
“Cum now, Joey.”
I came. It was intense. I felt a warm squirt of cum touch my chin.
“Good boy, Joey. Now, you’re still back in camp, It’s that moment. I want you to open your eyes.”
I did as he commanded. I was in my camp bed. The room was strange, like it was a single room, not a cabin for 15. But I was at camp.
My hand was on my cock, covered in cum.
“You remember tasting it,” came a voice. “Taste it now.”
I put my finger in my mouth. It tasted strange.
“You like the taste. It reminds you of sex. Of pleasure. Taste it deeply.”
It did taste good. Well, not good like candy, but it made me feel good to taste it. I licked it off my fingers, slowly at first, and then avidly.
“Good boy, Joey. Now close your eyes again.”
I did as he asked.
“You remember now, don’t you?”
“I remember,” I said.
“And you always remembered. Whenever you jerked off, you tasted your cum. You imagined Bob jerking his cock, and seeing him cum in front of you. Understand?”
“Yes.”
“Good boy, Joey. Now, I’m going to wake you up. You will not notice that your came on yourself and will dress without thinking anything about it. But when you wake up, this memory of summer camp will become more and more a part of you. Joey will remember jerking off to cocks and handsome men. The memory will grow as time goes by, becoming more vivid. As Joe, you won’t remember, but Joey will. When he’s back, it will be as much a part of him as his hands or feet. Understand?”
“I understand.”
“When I count to three, you will wake up. One. Feeling more alert. Two. Joey is fading away. Three.”
I blinked. I felt a bit disoriented as I absently adjusted my pants. There was something on my chin but I didn’t think about it. “What’s going on?” I asked.
“Nothing yet,” said Rob.
* * *I spent the day hanging with Rob. My earlier impression of him was clearly wrong; I realized I liked the guy, and trusted him completely. Shows how easily you could get a wrong first impression.
We watched a movie together and tried a restaurant. And all the time I kept thinking how nice a guy Rob was. I was lucky to have him for a friend. He was so handsome.
We got back to our room just around eight. Normally, I would have thought about going out somewhere, but when Rob suggested we go back, I quickly agreed.
“Now on to the next step,” Rob said.
“The next step?”
“______________________”
Joy. Happiness. Bliss.
“Do you hear me Joey?”
“Yes.”
“Do you remember about Bob?”
I did. I had spent my adolescence jerking off to his image, thinking about his cock and tasting my own cum. “Yes,” I said, dreamily. A big smile crossed my face.
“Now, think back. Think back to your teens. Did you ever have sex with a girl?”
I did as he asked. “Yes,” I said.
“Of course you did. You didn’t want to admit you were gay. You were lost and confused at your thoughts, and decided to try sex with a girl. What was her name?”
“Jessica Boswell.”
“And you had sex with her when?”
“I was a junior. It was in my dad’s car.”
“Yes. That’s how it happened. But there were problems.”
“Problems?” I didn’t remember any.
“You had trouble getting hard. No matter how much you felt her boobs or let her touch you, nothing was happening. Remember that.”
Did it happen that way?
“And she said to you, ‘What are you? A fag?’ You remember that now. You remember the scorn in her voice. And when she said it, you found your cock began to get hard.”
I remembered how hard my cock was. And I remembered her words now. I felt so embarassed and turned on.
“And when you fucked her, you imagined she was a guy. You imagined cocks and cum, and a handsome man calling you a fag. And it made you hard and ready.”
“Hard,” I murmured.
“But you continued to see Jessica, didn’t you? You dated her for awhile.”
I nodded. “My junior year.”
“That wasn’t because of Jessica, though. It was for her older brother, Bobby.”
“Bobby?” I didn’t remember Jessica having an older brother. Just a couple of sisters.
“Yes, Bobby. Jessica’s older brother. You remember him. Tall guy, very handsome. Dark brown hair and deep eyes.”
“I remember.” And I did.
“And Bobby was gay. He didn’t mind that people knew; he was big and strong and able to take care of himself. You looked up to him. Sometimes, when you’d be with him while waiting for Jessica, you’d glance at him. The idea that he was gay and unafraid was very exciting.”
“Exciting.” I remembered it. Glancing over at Bobby’s handsome face. Wondering what his cock looked like. Imagining myself sucking it as I jerked off or had sex with Jessica.
Rob talked, and I kept remembering more. How I felt when Bobby seemed to notice me. How we started talking. Hung out when I broke up with Jessica. And the moment of truth, when he asked me up to his room, when his parents and sister were away.
“You said, yes, Joey, didn’t you? Say ‘yes.’”
“Yes,” I said.
“Very good. Now, in a moment you will open your eyes. Bobby is with you. You are in his room alone, and ready to have sex with him. You will want this, JOey, because you’re gay.”
“No,” I protested weakly.
“You fantasize about men and cocks. You can’t have sex with a pretty girl without thinking of it. And you have the hots for Bobby Boswell. Be objective. What would you describe a man who feels that way?”
“He’s gay,” I said.
“So you’re gay, Joey. Joe isn’t gay, but you’re not Joe. You’re Joey. And you’re ready to admit your gay. Not to the world, but to Bobby Boswell. You admire him, you want him, you trust him. You want to tell Bobby your secret. You’ve been holding it inside for far too long. It will feel so good to finally be able to share it. You want to tell him, and you hope he’ll want you for it.”
I felt confused at the feelings, but I knew the words were the truth. “I want that.”
“Good, Joey. Now it’s that day again. Open your eyes.”
I blinked in the light. Bobby Boswell was there; I was in his room looking at a the posters in his wall. It looked a lot like a college dorm room, with two beds and double desks, but It was in Bobby’s house.
“So, Joey,” he said. “You’re a pretty good guy.”
I felt my face get hot. “Thanks,” I said.
“Lots of the other guys won’t have anything to do with me now that they know I’m gay. But you’re a good friend.” He sat on the bed beside me. “Can I ask you a question, Joey?”
I nodded. His presence was exciting. I could feel my cock stir.
“Now, don’t be upset, but there’s something I’ve been noticing when we’re together. It’s the way you look at me and . . . well, don’t take this the wrong way.” He laughed. “If the answer is no, then that’ll be the end of it.”
“What is it?” I asked, but I think I knew.
“Are you gay yourself?”
I felt myself get red. “I’m with your sister.”
He moved nearer to me. “You didn’t answer.” He looked deeply into my eyes.
I couldn’t look away. “Yes,” I said, the words barely above a whisper.
Bobby smiled. “I thought so. You’re a pretty hot guy, too.” Then he leaned nearer to me. His lips were inches from mine.
I couldn’t hold back. I kissed him, tentatively at first, then with more and more passion. I was gay and this was oh so perfect.
He broke off. “What do you want, Joey?”
I could only think of Bob the counselor, his cum spurting into the air. His delicious cum. “Your cock,” I whispered.
Bobby grinned.
I helped him off with his clothes. His body looked beautful— older than I thought, like he was in college. In only a few minutes we were naked.
His cock was beautiful. Maybe seven inches, cut, curving delciously toward his belly.
I hesitated. A part of me wanted this with all my soul. But another part—a small shrill voice in the back of my head—was saying I didn’t. It was wrong. It was disgusting.
“It’s all right, Joey. It’s what you want.”
“No, I . . . " I wanted this?
“Remember Joey, what I tell you is true. You want this. You always wanted this. And it’s not happening now—it’s a memory. A memory of what happened that day. You have already done it.”
“I’ve done it,” I said.
“And you remember. Remember it happening. Remember taking me in your mouth. It happened, and you can’t change the past. You don’t want to, anyway.”
I was leaning nearer and nearer his beautiful cock. It had happened. It was past, and I couldn’t change that. I was just reliving it.
I took Bobby Boswell’s cock in my mouth. It felt warm, tasted good.
“Good boy, Joey. Suck me. Show me the good cocksucker you are. Suck my cock, you little fag!”
The words set me off. I licked the shaft of Bobby’s cock, sucked on his balls, took him deeply in my throat. I loved his cock in my mouth. I loved the smell of his sweat.
“That’s it, fag. Take me.”
It didn’t sound like anything Bobby would say, but that didn’t matter. I could feel my cock straining, growing as hard as I had ever been.
Bobby’s hand touched my cock. “Good boy,” he said. “Now keep sucking me, faggot. You love it. You love everything about it.”
“Yes, sir,” I said and dove in again. His cock now slipped easily beteen my lips. I could feel it slide in and out my mouth. The cock flesh against my lips felt so good. The taste and texture under my tongue was the greatest thing I ever felt.
“You’re gay, aren’t you, Joey?”
I took a moment and let him out of my mouth. “I’m gay.”
“It feels good to say so, doesn’t it?”
I nodded and took him in his mouth. I couldn’t go any longer without it.
“I will tell you more truths. This is what Joey likes. This is what Joey needs. You need cock, Joey. You need my cock.”
I needed his cock. I needed his cock. I needed his cock. I needed it.
“You need my cum. You want my cum. You need to taste my cum.”
More truths. I needed his cum. I sucked more and more strongly. I needed his cum.
And he came.
I felt the cock start to spurt as Bobby pushed harder into my mouth. I felt cum hitting the back of my throat, filling my mouth. I sucked it down, until I could suck no more and it dripped out of my mouth and onto the floor.
Bobby pulled out of my hungry mouth. He pointed at the drips. “Lick it up.”
I was happy to obey. It tasted so good, so sexy. I polished the floor with my tongue.”
“Very good, Joey. Very good. You remembered so well. Now sit back on the bed and close your eyes.”
I did as Bobby asked. He contined to talk to me, about how I would wake up in the present. How I would go back to being Joe again (I was vaguely disappointed to hear that). How I would forget what had happened, that it was just a quiet night in the dorm. That nothing would make me thing otherwise, and that whenever Rob said my special phrase, I would now automatically change to Joe and forget anything that happened when I was Joey. But that as Joe I would like Rob more and more. That it would be perfectly normal if I showed affection to him in private and that it was perfectly fine if I thought he was handsome and sex. Not gay, but as a friend. It was all so reasonable. I could feel that way.
And it was the truth, of course.
1. 2. 3. <snap>
I blinked. It was a quiet night in the dorm. I was surprised how late it was. There was a funny taste in my mouth that I realized was perfectly normal.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s see what’s happening at the Union.”
* * *I slept late the next day. I had had a good time hanging out with Rob again. I don’t think of other guys that way, but he really was a decent looking guy. He reminded me of someone I vaguely remembered from high school, a senior.
I hung with Rob all day. A couple of times, he patted my hand. It felt nice.
We ended up going to dinner together at a Denny’s. I really had a good time. Rob was funny and told him some things about me that I had never expected to tell anyone. He was just easy to talk to.
We caught the early show of a movie after we ate.
I laughed when we got back to the dorm room. “Dinner and a movie. This is just like a date.”
Rob grinned. “No. If it were a date, we’d hop in bed and I’d fuck you.”
I laughed. “No chance of that.”
“Why?” asked Rob. “Wouldn’t you want me to fuck you?”
I started to say I wasn’t that kind of girl: I didn’t fuck on the first date. But I got a look at the look on Rob’s face.
“Are you—?”
“______________________”
“. . . serious?” I said, my anger fading immediately as I fell into a warm happy place. I shut my eyes. Everything else seemed to fall away into bliss.
“Hello, Joey.”
“Hi,” I murmured.
“How do you feel right now?”
“Good.” I had shut my eyes and fallen into pure bliss.
“And are you gay?”
Why was he asking such obvious questions? “I’m gay,” I said. I felt compelled to answer.
“Do you want to be fucked?”
“No,” I said.
“Why not?”
“Hurt.”
“But you’re gay. You like that.”
“No.” I loved to touch and suck. “Not that.”
Rob was quiet for a moment, as though changing his plans. “OK, Joey, I want you to open your eyes.”
I did as I asked. In front of me was the crystal. I let out a breath of contentment.
“That’s it, Joey. Relax even more, even further.”
I hadn’t realized I could become more relaxed, yet relax I did. Drifting away like in a dream. Feeling so good. With every flash of the light I felt better, more docile, more complacent. I closed my eyes.
“You feel good Joey. But you haven’t reached full relaxation yet. You have a fear, something that’s bothering you and keeping you from reaching perfect happiness. What’s bothering you, Joey?”
Something was bothering me. Something deep in my mind. “I don’t want to be fucked,” I said.
“That thought’s the only thing between you and perfect happiness, Joey. It’s keeping you from being happy.”
I frowned. Was it? Was it keeping me from being happy?
“You need to drop that thought. I want you to imagine a garbage can. Do you see it?”
I saw a garbage can. I nodded.
“Now, the thought is just a bag of garbage. Do you see it?”
There was a bag. It had “I don’t want to be fucked” written on it. “Yes.”
“Take that thought and put it into that garbage can.”
I reached for the bag. The one thing keeping me from happiness. I lifted up the bag. It was surprisingly light. Then I put it into the garbage.
“Is it there, Joey?”
I nodded.
“And now, it’s gone. It’s gone forever.”
“Gone,” I said. And I finally felt completely happy.
“Are you gay, Joey?
“Yes.”
“Do you want to be fucked?”
I thought about it. “I don’t know.”
“But it doesn’t bother you?”
I shook my head. I felt so good. Nothing mattered.
“In fact, you like it. You’re gay and you like it.”
“I like it.” I knew that.
“Good. Now, when I say, ‘open,’ you will open your eyes. You will see Bobby Boswell in front of you. It is the summer before he went off to college. His parents and sister are away, and he wants to fuck you. Would you like that?”
“Yes,” I said. I liked it and I was gay.
“You’ve been wanting this for awhile now, but the time isn’t right. But you have all the time now. You want him to fuck you. You want his beautiful cock inside you.”
“Inside me.”
“You want it so much you can hardly hold youself back. Your ass aches for him. Remember?”
I tried to, but somehow I couldn’t. “I—”
“Remember it.”
It was a command, not a question. I remembered. I remembered how much I wanted Bobby, how much I was afraid I wouldn’t be good enough for him. But mostly, how much I wanted his cock to fill me up.
“I remember,” I said.
“Good. Now, open.”
I blinked. Bobby Boswell was standing there, naked, just the way I remembered him. I felt nervous and unsure, and at the same time, very turned on.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
My mouth was dry. “Oh, yes,” I whispered.
“Take off your clothes and lie on your back.”
“Oh, yes,” I said, my voice tight. I slipped off my shirt, my jeans, my underwear. It only took me a few minutes, yet it seemed to take too long before I could lie down on the bed.
Bobby was stroking his cock. It glistened with KY. “You want this, faggot?” he asked.
“Oh, yes. Please.” I was begging.
He pushed my legs up and pressed his cock against my ass. It struck me that he knew what he wanted, that he knew more than just a high school kid should know about this.
But, as he entered me, the thought vanished. There was a sharp pain as he stretched me out. I let out a small yelp.
“That feels good.”
I realized it did feel good. I began to push against his cock, trying to feel even more of him inside me.
“You want this,” he said.
“Oh, yes.”
“It feels good.”
“So good,” I agreed.
He reached out and began masturbating my cock in time to his thrusts. “You love to be fucked.”
I loved it. “Fuck me.” The sensation of having him inside me, sliding in and out was making my cock harder than it had ever been. His hand moved up and down the shaft like an expert. “Fuck me like the little fag I am!”
He did. I don’t know how long we went at it, but each minute was heaven. He fucked me hard, and I kept wanting it.
“I’m gonna cum in a moment,” said Bobby. “You will cum when I do.” He was breathing heavily, but still managed to speak. “It will be the best orgasm you’ve ever had. If you open your mouth, it will fill it.”
I opened my mouth wide
He came inside me.
I came, too, the cum arcing to hit me in the chin, then into my hungry mouth. I scooped whatever missed onto my toungue.
It was the best thing I ever tasted.
“Good boy. Now, close your eyes, Joey.”
I did as I was asked. I felt happier than I had ever felt in my life. I don’t know how long I lay in my blissful state when a voice started to talk.
“Do you remember that, Joey? Your first time with Bobby?”
I remembered and smiled. “Oh, yes.”
“You remember it, and all the other times, too. There were other times.”
I remembered them.
“You loved him.”
“I loved him.”
“But that fall, he went off to college. Far away. And when he returned you realized you had drifted apart. You felt a little sad, but knew you had to move on.”
“Move on,” I said.
“Good, Joey. Now, I’m going to tell you things. These are things you know. They are the truth. You will repeat them back to me, and when you say them they will become undeniable. Once you say them, it will be impossible for you to deny them. And you won’t want to deny them, because they are as much a part of you as your name. Understand?”
“A part of me.”
“Good. Your name is Joey.”
“My name is Joey.”
“You are gay.”
“I am gay.”
“You like to suck cocks.”
Mmmmm. “I love to suck cocks.”
“You love to be fucked.”
“I love to be fucked.”
“You love Rob Wilson.”
“I love Rob Wilson.”
“You will do whatever Rob tells you.”
“I will do whatever Rob tells me.” It could not be any other way.
“When you hear the phrase ______________________, you will transform into Joey.”
“When I hear the phrase ______________________, I will transform into Joey.”
“You will forget the phrase ______________________ " as soon as you hear it.
“I will forget.”
“And when I say, ‘Goodbye for now, Joey,” you will forget about Joey and return to being Joe.”
“I will be Joe.”
“Nothing about Joe has been changed.”
“Nothing about Joe has been changed.”
“Rob is Joe’s best friend.”
“Rob is Joe’s best friend.”
“Joe will never notice anything Joey does. When he comes back, he will think everything is perfectly normal.”
“Joe will never notice anything Joey does.
“Good, boy, Joey. Now repeat all I have just told you.”
“My name is Joey. I am gay. I love to suck cocks. I love to be fucked. I love Rob Wilson. I will do whatever Rob tells me. When I hear the phrase ______________________, I will transform into Joey. I will forget the phrase ______________________ as soon as I hear it. When you say ‘Goodbye for now, Joey, I will be Joe. Nothing about Joe has been changed. Rob is Joe’s best friend. Joe will never notice anything Joey does. When he comes back, he will think everything was perfectly normal. Is that all true?”
“Oh, yes. It’s all true.”
“Good boy, Joey.” There was a pause. “Now, goodbye for now, Joey.”
I blinked. Rob was sitting next to me on the bed. He was naked. I was naked.
But that was perfectly normal.
* * *As I sucked on Rob’s luscious cock again after all these years, I remembered it all. How he had conditioned me to be his gay sex slut. Not constantly and not all the time. There were times when I would bring a girl back to the room and tell Rob to make himself scarce. He would smile a knowing smile and let me have the room to myself.
But there were nights when he wanted me. And those nights, Joey would be there for him.
I remembered it all as I sucked down Rob’s cum. It tasted of old times and happiness.
“Are you glad you remembered, Joey?”
I looked at Rob with adoration. “Yes.”
“Good. Well it looks like I’m going to be moving into town. I can see you as often as I like.”
“Oh.” I grinned. I couldn’t think of anything better.
“You’re a good little fag, Joey.”
It felt so good to be called “fag” again. My cock twitched.
“And you’re my little fag.”
“Yes,” I am.
“Your cock is hard, isn’t it, Joey the fag?”
It was, harder than it had been since . . . since the last time I saw Rob.
“Cum, little faggot. Cum for your lover Rob.”
I came. The stream of hot cum burst out of my cock, spurting violently in the air. My body shook as I felt the intense pleasure.
“Very good,” said my lover Rob. “Now,” he said. “In a minute, I will turn you back into Joe.”
“No . . . “I whispered.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be back with you. And sooner than you think. Goodbye for now, Joey.”
I blinked. For some reason I was naked and there was cum on my chest. But that was perfectly normal. I started putting my clothes back on, though I left the cum where it was. “Well,” I said as I put on my underwear. “It’s was great seeing you again.”
“Same for me,” said Rob. “And I think we’ll be seeing a whole lot more of each other.”
“Good,” I said. “I’d like that.” I always liked Rob.
END