My Transformation (And I still don't understand how it happened!)
by Wordshop
This is a muscle daddy bear transformation. Though it is in some ways as an author the closest thing to what I am, maybe writing the story of what I would likewill inspire me to work harder on my own little transformation inprogress. There is an old sayingabout visualizing and then becoming what you want by visualization. Some aspects of this story arefantasy to improve continuity and others like in most of my writings are absolute truth and based on real people, places and happenings with real locations. This is not a story I am going to love writing. I really wish that I could have talkedmy buddy FanTCdude into doing one of these. We always tend to transform those that are very young. It is a medical fact thatit would be easier to do so, but, at the same time those that are older areripe for transformation as well. What would happen if we could do it just as well with an oldergent? There's only one way to find out!
It all started with a trip to the doctor for a physical. I had known Kerry for years while I had worked in the entertainment industry, he had served as my physician for many of those years, and as personal friend for longer than that.
A couple of weeks ago, on a quick business trip to California, I had been in and had the works. I was poked, prodded, drained, x-rayed, scanned, and hit with an assortment of hammers. When they were finished with that, I had various devices shoved up and down into various body cavities and there was video of that. Needless to say I was scared of the results, simply because I knew well that my own condition had been allowed to deteriorate over the past twenty years.
Nearing sixty years old is a frightening timein general when you're an older gay man. When you're gay it tends to be a youth oriented culture and the youngones get most of the attention. Ifyou're older, you tend to be something that is referred to unkindly by theyoung ones, or you have to fit into the ideal of a rare few. The other way out is to have so muchmoney that you are then descended on by the locusts wanting you to support themso they don't ever have to do something called work.
Kerry sat down at his desk with a pile ofpaperwork, with a glare looking at me in a way that I didn't like.
He opened the conversation with:
"Well, it could have been a great deal worse,but we have got to make some changes or you are not going to be here all thatmuch longer!" "Let's startwith the bodyfat percentage." "Iam not one of those idiots who talks about a number on a scale." "I hate that!" "I don't give a rat's ass what youweigh as long as it isn't all fat!" "Your cholesterol is awful, but I want to do some dietary changes withsome OTC stuff and some exercise before I hand you the snake oil of the newcentury!" "I hate statin drugswith a passion, and as far as I am concerned, we try everything elsefirst!" "Those damned things are alast fuckin' resort!" "Your hormone panel is a disaster!" "Youamaze me in that you have maintained that fur coat on so little testosterone." "This blood panel is not reallyyour fault, but your condition in general is definitely the fault of thisdamned blood panel, that's for sure!" "Too damned many years sitting behind a desk and not chasing your ownvehicles!" "Because of you, thereare a hell of a lot more healthy police officers and firemen who worked ascontract labor for you." "They gotthe exercise, and you didn't." "Your blood pressure is borderline, and though I really should give youmedication, I think that if I do, the side effects from that are going to makeyou feel poorly enough that you're going to find fixing things with exercisedifficult to impossible." "I knowyou were a Corpsman in Viet Nam, and I know that you know, what the hell I amtalking about when I talk about these numbers." "We need to agree that you're not fooling me or evenyourself with what these crap numbers could lead to, you know as well as I do!"
"Now, here is what I am going to do foryou." "With your numbers I canprescribe this course of action without hesitation." "You are a mess damn it!" "Wake up and smell the coffee. . . wait a minute….as of nowyou can't have coffee any more…..correction. . . . . . .wake up and smell theroses!" "You are firstand foremost being placed on male hormone replacement therapy." You will be receiving two differentkinds of testosterone one is a custom compounded cream and the second is aninjection." "The injections willbe a very small amount three times per week and you're giving yourself thoseI.M.." "You are going to be placedon an estrogen blocker because your levels are elevated." "That one may change on it's own as thebody fat numbers go down." "I amplanning on a re-evaluation for that in one year, after the fat percentage isdown." "In 90 days, you are going to stop the testosterone injections whileremaining on the cream as it is a DHT base." "You will then give yourself injections at these prescribed amountsof HGC or human chorionic gonadotropin. This will try and preserve, and maybe, just maybe kick start those ballsof yours into doing something other than occupying space." "Then there is this prolactin crap,your levels are elevated." "Thereis no prolactinoma or tumor, we checked for that." "Your levels are crap because of aging and again possiblythe body fat percentage which is too high, it happens that way onoccasion." "The pills are horriblein price from U.S. Sources, but Betty in the outer office will give you awebsite that some of my patients have found useful for that one." "Follow the directions on the Rx!" "In regards to the E.D. , youhave damage from that accident and you know that." "Once we get the hormone issues resolved, that may improve agreat deal, but, I doubt that it will be anything that we could call afix." "Now, the same sitethat has the prolactin crap will have some of the oral E.D. meds a great dealcheaper than you can get them here." "I want you to take one tadalafil daily because itwill also serve to dialiate your coronary arteries and in so doing it will workto help prevent a heart attack. I want you to take a medication that is OTC for the reflux that thetadalafil will cause at that dosage. If you want to try an oral for sex you may take bothtadalafil daily and sildenafil on short term when it is needed. The sildenafil citrate may allowyou to have some fun with Michael if you travel. Finally I am going to renew all your Rx's for theinjectable Quadmix." "For you sexis good exercise, when we are through with this `overhaul' I suspect Michael isgoing to hate me!"
"Geeze Kerry, that is a lot to remember."
"I know, Betty has it all written up foryou." "By the way, how's Jaydoing?"
"Yeah, he's back to training full timenow." "They got the cancercompletely and he seems not to be any worse off for it."
"That damned FDA should have out and out banned that "hooch" grade alcohol in mouthwash decades ago."
"Who's training Jay these days, still you?"
"Yep!"
"Bring the little shit in to see me when youget a chance." "You've trained himlong enough, why don't you let the little money sponge train you?" "You know Bob, you were quite alooker in your younger years, you had a number of titled pro's eating out ofyour hand, and if you'll pardon the pun `many more places' than that."
"Michael is a lucky guy, and a nice guy, I wantto see your annoying ass around for some years go come!" "Not only that, I want your ass out onthe golf course with me in that charity tournament in January of next year." "There are a number of stunt men youknew well that keep asking about you."
"What are you trying to make me do, you want meto feel guilty?"
"If it works!"
"Damn it Kerry, you're an expert at handing outguilt!"
"I'm Jewish, it's my duty and my Mother taughtme well!"
"In your case I just think that it was a caseof mis-hearing something." "Youthought that she said gelt instead of guilt so you took an extra large portionto pass on to others!"
"I want to see you here in six months!" "Heading back to Taos?"
"Yeah, I really like it there."
"If there is anything wrong or you have anyproblems call me immediately on my cell!"
The samples would hold me a couple of weeks andthe inject-ables he had given me with the scrips would hold me on that untilthe mail order stuff showed up.
Michael was going to be pissed at me, thisCalifornia trip was a great deal longer than I had planned on and I had arrangedfor the purchase of some fresh semen from a Bison breeder not far from SanDiego as part of the trip.
It was May, and I had flown out to the LosAngeles area simply because I had grown to dislike the traffic of the area agreat deal. Kerry's officeswere in Newport near the water in Orange County, and I had a friend to see inAnaheim before departing. The rental car was a Corolla and as I found myself in gridlock on the 91Freeway I thought well about what Kerry had told me. I knew from the copies of my paperwork now in myluggage that the person I had created was not the one I wanted to be. My energy level was shit, mymoods were sour more than good, my level of depression was only exceeded by mymoments of indecision and memory lapses. I was headed down a road that was not a good one and Idamned well knew it.
I owned the Gym that Jay was managing, I guessI could sneak in and see how much of a fool I could make out of myself.
Before having met Michael nearly tree decadesago I had dated nothing but bodybuilders. I spent as much time in gyms as they did and I was both a good observerand a quick learner.
When I had decided to retire, I initially leftthe San Gabriel Valley in Southern California and moved first to Palm Springs,which was then a "gay mecca". I grew to hate things there, and after meeting Michael, and hooking upwe went out less and less, finally deciding to move away from Californiacompletely. I had done verywell with the industry and bought a rather substantial two thousand acre ranch justoutside of Taos, New Mexico. I wasmentally tired, and I wanted retirement when I did it. More recently, I had startedquestioning my medical situation more and more and was beginning to wonder if Iwas starting to make the right decisions on many issues. I knew some were dead correct,but, I was beginning to find myself being indecisive.
By the time I left Southern California and wason a jet headed for the Sun Port in Albuquerque, all the medications had beenordered and the rest was up to me. I was both scared and questioning myself at this point in time. Was I, at age 59, going to beable to pull a rabbit out if a hat and turn my own health around?
When I arrived that evening, Jay was there to meet me. The damned little shit had driven my Porsche. Hewas a 24-year-old kid in something that he definitely could not handle. Yes, it was a couple of yearsold, but a Porsche Turbo is still a Porsche Turbo, and will, without anyhesitation go fast enough to get one arrested everywhere but the BonnevilleSalt Flats during speedweeks in August! I had run that car at the Silver State in Nevadaand had averaged over 160 miles per hour for the entire run. It was very fast, and it was incrediblystable when going very fast, but Jay simply did not have the track experiencethat I did. His thing wasbodybuilding, and my thing was my cars. I loved machines in general and with my Bison ranchingdoing well, I had the money to indulge myself in the few things that gave megreat joy. One was the cars, theother was my music.
On Monday, I would start all themedications.
I had forced Jay to keep a logbook for his own workouts,I guess that I should probably do the same thing on this, and at least set anexample for the kid. Icouldn't ask him to do something that I couldn't do myself.
The only thing I wanted to do was to give myself about two weeks on the medications before I started the active exercise program to allow my body to adapt to the chemical changes and altered hormone profile without trying to take on the chemical changes of the exercise too.
To be continued?