In keeping with the graphic nature of our website, I'm going to share my sexual history in a more detailed way than I normally
would do.
My sexual history is harsh. It begins when I was 6 years old and my sexual role in life was imprinted upon me by a brutal pedophile. I was spending the summer at a relative's house which I did frequently as it was one of my favorite places to be. Swimming pool, 3 story house, loving relatives. One of my relatives was with another one of her boyfriends and he stayed at the house most of the time. Frequently, my relatives would go out and do errands leaving me alone with this boyfriend to watch me. One day early in my stay there, I was left alone with him. I was playing on the stairs in just my underwear, something I frequently did and still do to this day. He came out of the bathroom completely naked holding his penis. It was big and hard and he was rubbing it. As a young curious boy I was fascinated. Seeing this fascination from me, he approached me and asked if I wanted to see how it works. Now, I don't know if at that point he was already a pedophile or just decided to take advantage of the curiosity of a young boy. I shook my head up and down in a 'yes' motion and from that point on my life was never the same. He approached me very nicely and asked me to touch his penis. I wasn't sure about doing that and was hesitant. He got agitated and told me I had to touch it for him to show me how it works. Believing this, I took my hands and starting touching his Penis. He told me to rub it and I did. This stuff was leaking out of the front of it and I think I asked him if it was pee. He told me no it wasn't pee, it was something called semen and he told me to taste it. I let go of him and told him I didn't want to. He got angry and grabbed me by the neck. I struggled against him, but I was very small and weak. He grabbed his penis and pressed it against my mouth. He tried to push himself in my mouth, but I kept it closed. He was smearing his penis stuff on my lips and yelled at me to open my mouth. I started to shake and cry and when I started to cry I opened my mouth. My crying was stifled as he forced his penis in my mouth. I tried to pull away but he grabbed the back of my head and continued to push more of his penis in my mouth as he could. He told me to open my mouth as much as I could and not fight it or it would hurt more. I cried and choked as his penis went in my mouth. I ended up choking really bad and he lost his grip on me. I pulled away from him, but he grabbed me and dragged me into his bedroom. He threw me over the side of the bed and holding me down pulled off my underwear. He angrily grabbed and touched my bottom and I cried some more. Then he said something like 'I'm going to show you what happens to little boys like you.' He let go of me to get something and I got up and tried to run away. He grabbed me and threw me back over the bed. He got his belt and started beating me with it. Hitting my bottom and back, all over, anywhere he could. He told me not to move and I didn't. I was too frightened and in shock from what was happening to do anything. He grabbed something and rubbed some stuff on his penis. His penis seemed like something evil to me now. Remembering the taste in my mouth and not being able to breath. My fascination and curiosity had turned into a nightmare that would change my life forever. He got behind me pushing his hand against my back and holding me down. His other hand was on my butt and I felt something rubbed on my anus. He spanked me until I was crying uncontrollably. And then he raped me. With his hand pressed down on my back and the other pushing down on my butt, he forced himself in my bottom where I go #2. I screamed terribly as he shoved his penis through my anus and up my rectum. In a matter of moments he was in me and I was shattered. I cried and screamed and bled as he brutally raped me.
And so it was on that day, just a couple of months past my sixth birthday that I was sodomized for the first time. During that summer I was left alone with him often. Every time I was alone with him, he anally raped me.
He forced me to suck his penis whenever he could as well. I came to at least tolerate this being done to me and accept the taste of his semen in my mouth. I was gay after all, even if at that age I had no idea what that was or why this was being done to me. And it was much better than having him in my bottom, which was always incredibly painful and brutal. After the 3rd time or so I stopped choking up his semen and started swallowing it. He always called it semen and said it was good for me to swallow it. He threatened to 'hurt my bottom in that way' if I didn't swallow him. So I learned to swallow. Not easy for a boy of six to do as semen isn't the tastiest stuff for a boy to drink. When he wanted his penis sucked he would say to me semen. Simple as that. He would approach me and say 'semen' and depending on if my relatives were home, take me into the bathroom and have me suck him. He did that alot. If it was to be anal it was simply 'butt'.
Eventually I no longer screamed much when he sodomized me, and over time it wasn't even rape really. He would say 'butt' or sometimes 'time to hurt your butt', and I would go downstairs, remove my underwear, get in the chair where he liked to rape me and on hands and knees wait for him with my head down and my bottom up.
After the second time I never fought him again or tried to run away. Doing that the second time had led to being beaten with his belt, getting my penis and balls grabbed while being told those weren't important and his fingers jammed up my anus. Then getting sodomized for the first time on all fours so brutally that it left my bottom covered in crap and blood and me completely broken inside. So from then on I would just get in position and let him do it. It was no longer rape. It just became normal to me, a part of who I was. I never liked it but I did come to accept it as normal and eventually integrate it into who I was. Imprinting on me from then on that this was what my anus was for and how anal sex was supposed to be.
Over the course of that summer a bottom I became. In the process I lost part of my childhood and much of my innocence. The effects of that summer have left lasting impressions on my life. From that summer on, my anus became my sex, not my penis like a normal boy. A result of this being that from that summer on I have been sticking various objects up my bottom and from being told that my penis was not important, I did not masturbate until I was almost 16. It also made me sexually promiscuous once I started having gay sex on my own. I would let any man buttfuck me, bending me over and penetrating me however he wanted. It didn't matter how it felt or if I enjoyed it. Because of the rapings that summer I will associate anal sex with pain and it will always be perfectly normal to me.
In the end I don't hate him for the rapings he did to me. As brutal as he was, he made me a good bottom. My build has always been small and my demeanor with men submissive and because of that reality I would have most assuredly been taking it up the butt anyway. Now whether this was something that was always in me or is a result of what he did to me, I will never know.