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Ok, so you feel drawn to begin exploring with dildos... How do you pick one?
Simple... let's take a look at what's involved. Truly the best way to begin exploring any form of anal sex is with some self exploration with a finger and then a dildo. The trick is to be able to understand your own body. How to relax your muscles, what sensations you enjoy and especially what feels good to you. When YOU do the poking it's far easier to understand what is going on and feels much safer than if someone else is poking inside you. |
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| Starting out... I started my anal exploration by locating smooth objects I found around the house to stick up my ass. I had a sanded and varnished wooden dowel, a sturdy little glass bottle and some other crude objects I used on occasion. I used these instead of buying some real dildos over fear of what someone else might think of me. The fears, "What if I order a package and it's obvious?" "What if someone finds it?" "How can I give my real name to order this?" Etc. After years of doing that, I decided to get "serious" and order an "Anal Starter Kit". It came in an unmarked box, with only a return address, and the company name on the credit card statement was generic. My fears had been unfounded. Sex toy companies are very sensitive to these issues and are VERY discrete The difference between using a real dildo and other objects you find around the house is AMAZING! Dildos are soft, pliable, easy to clean, are safe and feel GREAT! Objects you find around the house... well, not quite the same. Really... get an anal starter kit, you will be glad you did! One of the interesting phenomenon I noticed with dildos is looking at them and going, "I could NEVER fit that up MY ass!" I looked at the largest of my kit with fear and trepidation. I was definitely going to start with the SMALLER ones first! Interestingly though, the smallest was really too small. Useless in fact. I used it once. But what it DID do was to give me the confidence to move to the next larger size. The second one was cool, but made me long for something bigger. I immediately moved to the 3rd size. Put lube on it, and started to slip it in. There was a little bit of pressure and I had to slow down and go more slowly. But gosh, when that 3rd one went in... HEAVEN!! Wow! What a great feeling it was! Then came the vibrator... WOW!!!! So many sensations to explore! Getting a kit that has several sizes of butt plugs or dildos will be much easier on you to start. It builds your confidence and gets you exploring quickly. I used that kit for many years before I outgrew it and got bigger toys. :) But I realize that buying dildos is not always possible. So if you must... search the house for items. |
  Anal Beginner's Kit (3 butt plugs & a vibrator) |
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Finding things to stick up your ass... I've found the anal region to be the most delicate part of the body. If something is not PERFECTLY smooth, you are likely to cause yourself pain and some bleeding. I don't say this to scare you, I say this to have you look carefully! Things MUST be completely smooth, rounded, not pointy and preferably long enough that you can keep a hand on them. Object that are plastic, check for any seams that stick up or sharp edges. Glass, use only thicker glass objects (no light bulbs!) Smooth vegetables are ok. Other objects that are porous, such as wood should be covered with a condom or your anal juices will soak into them... not good! Also avoid short/small objects that could accidently slip completely inside of you. While for most people all they have to do is "push" and the object comes right back out (just like taking a shit)... but if you panic, your anus will clamp tight and you will find yourself in the hospital emergency room under anesthetic trying to explain how that object got up your ass! (see this site of emergency room anal removals) One of the more useful things I have found to use was a plastic toothbrush holder. It goes with me when I travel. While I don't use it for my toothbrush, it does fit nicely up my ass and feels great against my prostate! |
 X-ray ketchup bottle in anus  Plastic toothbrush holder (dildo) |
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Types of dildos... Purchasing dildos is kind of like clothes shopping. You can find a seeming endless variety of different styles, colors, shapes and sizes... your goal is simply to find something that seems to appeal to you. Often people start out by selecting the type of feeling or function they want from the dildo.
Knowing how big of a dildo to buy takes a bit of trial and error. You need to try some different sizes in your ass to see what feels good to you. If you are just starting out, here is what I suggest: -a good size dildo to start with is 1.5"-1.75" (largest diameter) and 6"-8" (length). -a good size butt plug to start with is 1.5" (largest diameter) and 4"-5" (insertable length). Anything larger might be too much for now.
Dildo Materials... Dildos are made out of a variety of different materials. Each has its benefits and drawbacks. They are listed below in order of their expense and durability.
For the most part I don't pay any attention to the materials. For me shape and size are the most significant elements. Where to buy dildos... Stores: Most major cities have a bunch of sex toy stores. While they might not carry a wide variety, you can look at what you are buying in advance. When you go to a store I suggest you bring a small ruler with you. Some times things are not labeled with sizes and things have a tendency to look smaller in the store than they do at home just before you are about to put it in your ass! :) Know what size you want BEFORE you get to the store, then measure them at the store. Once the dildo leaves the store, you cannot return it, for any reason. Online: In the early days I was too embarrassed or shy to show my face in a sex store. So I ordered most of my stuff by mail order, then in later years, online from various websites. The item was then discretely shipped to my house and only I knew what was in the package. This always worked well, and was often cheaper, especially if you are ordering a bunch of stuff. Often the sex stores sell things at full markup where you can find online sites that discount the same products. Even with shipping it's cheaper. Sex toy stores are very sensitive about your privacy and confidentiality. It has become a very competitive business online. Sites want to keep you as their customer and will work to keep your trust. Here are some online places that I have ordered from and have had good service and prices: |
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Todd Perkins - Jan 2005
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