Milehigh Man - Workout Journal 8/12/-1: SelfScreen.Com

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“Hello to all my fans out there!”

“Yo!”

“hahahahaha, shut UP during the intro man!...hahahahahahaha. This is Aaron. And the first thing I’ve gotta do is put this question out there. There’s a decent sized bunch of you following little ol’ me…”

“Little?”

“Dude…. I am little, look at these arms.”

“Yeah, but you’re three inches taller than me, and I’m a big boy at six foot six….”

“Yeah, but if I scrunch down behind you,….you can’t see me cause of your mass, man. So, I am small.”

“Ok you’re thinly built.”

“hahaahhaha….Ok.. back to my opening and to my first question… there’s a decent sized bunch of you following li….following me. Enough that I can’t call out to everyone anymore so, what do I call you as a group? Post your suggestions in the comment area below and I’ll pick out the best one with collaboration from my new friend and workout coach, Beau. Tadaaaaaah!”

“hahaha… Howdy, Screeners!”

“Ok…so my last plan for workouts…..didn’t work out. I really didn’t gain anything but aches and pains. I was also still gaining bad weight and pooch… “POOOOOOCH!” is beginning to look more like pouch.”

“Rhymes with couch…”
“Shut-UP! Hahahaahahha But yeah…it didn’t work…. So I lost he bet and nooooow… Beau is gonna be my trainer. Well, he already took over about two weeks ago. I know it’s a little hard to tell… in fact I think [glares over at Beau] …someone’s made me worse!”

“No….I didn’t…”

“Well, fan club… He is helping me. He’s started me on a workout that I’m calling the 100. I’m working out with weights and doing some exercises to the count of 100 - if I can do them. What he’s having me do is find the maximum weight I can lift, but lift relatively comfortably, not the one that after two or three reps I gotta bust a groin and a voice box screaming to get out, but the one I can do about fifteen to twenty times. The goal is I’m to keep lifting those weights, which vary depending upon which muscle group and exercise I’m doing, until I can lift them 100 times without really breaking a sweat. Then I’ll move the weight up till I again hit a comfortable weight that’s difficult to lift about fifteen to twenty time and work back towards a 100 rep limit once more.

“Now, while I’m doing this though, since this isn’t really muscle mass building…. Like I want….He is training my muscles to get used to lifting and exercising, and having me do some of the reps and forms very slowly so I learn the proper form of each exercise. But….and here’s a big but…as well as makin’ my butt big!..... He’s having me eat all the time and he’s not explaining why? I know to build muscle I will need to eat, but he’s stuffing my face all the time and I’m not working it off fast enough. I do want to be a cut built man you know? I’m mean look at pooch here!”

“Pouch….”

“Shut the fuck….”

“Language…”

“Up! Folks, I’ve gained like twenty pounds this month…and it looks like it’s all fat! And that I don’t understand because he’s not giving me sweets and he’s not loading me up on bread either. Beau, any explanation for folks?”

“aha….uhmm…Hello again, Screeners. Ok there are three body types listed: ectomorph or skinny, mesomorph or muscular, and endomorph or heavy aka fat. However, most people usually aren’t ever exactly one body type or another, they’re usually a combination of two or sometimes even all three. In pouches case here…”

“Shut UP!”
“hahaha….in Aaron’s case here, the walking stick…”

“Would you knock it off!...[head dives onto his bead burring his head under the pillows…] aaaauuuugh this is so embarrassing….”

“haahahaha… in Aaron’s case here is a combination of the two ectomorph and endomorph, skinny and fat. In his case the distribution is all the fat is on his torso, primarily in his abdominal region, and his arms and legs are skinny. He’s built like a potato on toothpicks.”

[pillow whomp!] “Shut UP!”

“Ooof…. Hahahaha…. There’s nothing to be upset about, a lot of folks are built like that. What we are doing right now is getting his muscles educated in and used to working out, beginning to build up muscle memory so that once this process has begun and is developing he will begin to fill out in his limbs and reduce in his waist and abs, the core region. And yes until your body gets used to it, even though you are on a very well balanced diet, your body will place it all in the midsection till it is used to the new regimen and begins to disperse it out all over the body. That and another reason….which I’m not explaining yet.”

“But you did to the coach… and … AND! … and to Austin. Austin knows too. Cause on Beau’s recommendation, I’m not going to be trying out for the basketball team, but he told Austin and the coach the reason why and won’t tell me!”

“I did tell you I’d make up for it in some way.”

“Some way.. you agreed to anyway…”

“Well… almost anyway…”

“No… you signed off on it right here….[holds up paper with Beau’s signature…]… and it says ‘anything….’”

“Alright, lil’ big man…what is the anything you want?”

“I wanna faun over you…right now!”

“What?!?”

“C’mon, off with the shirt!”

“Wait…are we done with the video?”

“hahahahahahno!”

“No, I’m not…”

“You said anything. You signed on it. Welcher…WEEEEEELCHER!”

“I’m not a whelcher!”

“Then take it off!”

“gggrrmmuttergrumble….” [strips off shirt…]

[comes up from behind Beau…mouth open…and pointing] “Look at that!... omg! Look at those!....angels in heaven look at those wings!”

“Hey now!...”

“No no… you said anything… and I’m gonna faun properly…do a double bi…”

“Well I’m not really an exhibit…”

“Do a double bi you weak-shit!”

“Excuse you?!?! Humphhhhhhh”

“Look at the peak! LOOKATTHATPEAK!......side chest!”

“Hupppppphhffffff”

[squeezes Beau’s upper arm…] Look how thick his chest is….crab shot…”

“What…”

“CRAB SHOT!”

“Hmmmrmrrrrrrrr”

“Oh, c’mon! growl like the Hulk. … … .. I SAID GROWL LIKE THE HULK!”
“GRRRRRRRR!”

“Ok bounce you pecs.”

“Alright… no.. no no… I can’t…”

“C’mon any man that has ever really worked out his chest can bounce his pecs. You can do them both at the same time, or individually either way…”

“No… no… now I’ve done enough….”

[goose Beau’s butt]

“he…HEY!”

“Bounce ‘em or on camera I move my hand from your butt up to your crotch…”

[bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce… left bounce , right bounce, left bounce, right bounce…]

“Now do a victory pose…”

“Ok. That’s it…”

“No seriously, that’s the last thing I want you to do…”

“Fine….aahhhhh hoooooooooomphhhhhh”

“oh…mother….. and that’s the reason why, right there, I want him to be my trainer.”

“You know… you’re awful ballsy once you get to know someone.”

“What? Back away, man… whataredoing…get back…GET BACK!,,,”

“I think someone needs a reminder of nuggies or swirlies…”

“NO! No you don’t! ah-hahahahahahahahahahaha”

“ahahahahahahahahaha”

“Let go of my leg!”

“C'mere lil one!.... knuckle punch OOMPH!”

“OW! SON OF BITCH AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAA!”

“OH YEAH TAKE THAT! OH SHIT….”

“THE CAMERA!”

“CATCH IT….”

Crrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeecccccccccccchhhhhhhhh

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