Warning, this story may contain sexual content involving men or
boys. If this is not to your tastes, please leave now.
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NOTE: This is the end, fellas. 52 and finished! I wanna send a
shout out to all of you who stuck with me. Thanx 4 all that luv...you make a brotha
feel special. Hope everybody enjoyed this story.
Yet again, Craig had tried to get over on me.
Only now, he'd dragged Maya into the deception along with him. What kind of fool was she?
Surely, she couldn't be anything more than Craig's puppet if she'd agree to lie about the
baby's paternity AND marry me to cover it up. Craig had stooped to the lowest low with
this trick. Good thing, too, because I intened for it to be his last. Justice was due me,
and it was time for Craig to pay in full.
I hatched my revenge right there in the hallway,
then waited at the top of the staris for Craig to come out of Duane's room. He didn't
notice me until he was right up on me. I reached out for him. Before he could respond, I
forced myself to slide my lips onto his. He stepped back as if shocked, and looked over
his shoulders.
"Yo, kid, what the fuck you think you
doing?" I reached for Craig's dick and found that it was gaining weight and length.
"Remember earlier? I changed my mind. I
want it...I want you...now."
He gave me an unreadable look. "How did you
know I was up here?"
"I been following you since you walked
through the door," I lied. "I can't take my eyes off you, Craig. I wanna fuck.
Now." I kissed him hard, and wasn't too surprised when I felt his tongue begin to
slide against my own. Craig was almost as easy a target for me as I'd been for him. He'd
used my fears, my sense of duty and responsibility against me, and now I was using his
conceited, self-centeredness and sexual insatiability against him.
He spun me around and rammed his crotch against
my back side. He humped me hard, his heavy dick pressing through his pants against the
crack of my ass. Craig was getting excited; I could tell by the way he was breathing.
"You want this dick, huh? You want this
long ass dick up that ass, don't you boy?"
"Ooooh, yeah, Craig. I want it, I want it
inside me," I moaned. He slapped my ass.
"Oooh, but not here. I don't want to get
caught. Let's go to the basement. Won't nobody interrupt us down there."
Craig didn't protest. He followed his dick--and
me--into the basement. Thankfully, no one was in the kitchen when we ducked down the
basement stairs. Craig didn't even wait until we were all the way downstairs before
backing me against the wall. He lifed my leg up and held it against his hip as he grinded
against me, tonguing me so deeply, I thought he might choke me.
I slipped out of his grasp and skipped down the
steps. He tackled me from behind before I made it all the way down. We fell onto the
carpet, rolling. He ended up on top of me, throwing my legs into the air. Quick as a
flash, he'd unzipped his pants and freed his rigidness from his pants. He dry-fucked me
for a few minutes, ramming the head of his dick against the bottom of my pants. He was
grunting. He was moving so fast, he was about to ruin my little plan. I had to slow him
down and quick. I raised up.
"Not here...in there." I pointed at
the door to the guest bedroom, just off the family room.
I grabbed Craig's dripping erection and guided
him into the small, non-descript room that my parents reserved for overnight visitors. I
pushed Craig down onto the small bed and fell into position between his legs. There had
been a time when I got high off the scent of his crotch, the smell of his balls. There had
been a time when being this close to his super-size dick had been enough to force my own
nut. Now, all I felt was nausea.
I took a deep breath and prayed that I could
make it work. I slid his pants and boxers down his legs and off his feet. I swallowed and
took the head of his dick into my mouth, swirling my tongue over the circular surface,
pulling my jaws tight to squeeze more fluid onto my tongue. Craig hissed through his teeth
and raised his hips, forcing half of his lengthy shaft into my mouth. I almost lost my
lunch, but managed to recover and accommodate the intrusion by swiftly bobbing my lips
along the shaft, feeling it plump and harden as it filled with more blood. Craig's hand
landed on top of my head with force as he tried to ram my mouth as far down as his shaft
would allow. I retreated, raising my head completely off his dick.
"Not like this," I said, wiping my
sticky lips. "I can't swallow. Lay down."
Craig followed my instructions. His half-opened
eyes burned that icy blue-green that let me know he cared about nothing but the sensations
radiating from his swollen dick. He was mines for sure now. I stradled him on the bed,
unbuttoning his shirt and taking off his tie. As I planted kisses on his eyelids, nose and
cheeks, I busied myself raising his hands above his head. Quickly, I used his unfastend
tie to bind his wrists together and then tied them to the headboard.
Craig just smiled. "Umm...you into that
freaky shit, now?"
"Yeah," I said, tightening the tie
into an impossible-to-get-out-of knot.
Once I had him secured, I used my tongue to lick
my way down his body, drawing a chorus of "oohs" and "aahs" from his
half-opened mouth. When I got to his feet, I snatched his socks off. I hated to admit it,
but the boy had beautiful, soft feet. IT wasn't much of a chore to massage his heel and
kiss his toes, but I couldn't lose my focus.
At the same time that I was working on his feet,
I was also working on knotting his socks together. Once I was done, I used the socks to
bind his ankles together. Again, I made a circulation-restricting knot that was sure to
hold for at least ten minutes. Everything was in place.
"Ooh, yeah, boy. You gonna ride this pony
today," Craig said confidently.
I hopped off the bed and looked down on him. He
looked ridiculous. Naked, bound, with his erection jutting obscenely into the air. I
started laughing.
Craig raised up. "What you laughing
at?"
"Oh, nothing...I just forgot to get a
condom," I said. "I'll be right back."
"You gon leave me like this?" Craig
said.
"It won't take long...I'll run," I
said. "Just don't make a lot of noise. Then won't nobody know you're down here."
"Hurry up," Craig said. I walked out
of the room, silently closing the door behind me. I was going to return with something all
right, but it wasn't going to be no condom.
Chapter 49
I crept back upstairs, passing a clock as I did so. Only a half-hour
remained until the start of the ceremony. I didn't have much time, but I'd be damned
if I let lack of time stop me from doing the right thing. Rather than risk Maya not
opening the door, I didn't knock. I simply walked right inside Duane's room.
Maya sat on the bed, looking beautiful in a shape-hugging white gown.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
I could tell by her puffy eyes that she had been crying. "Maya,
we've got to talk." I closed the door.
She rose from the bed. "You're not supposed to be here.
It's bad luck."
"No, this is not bad luck," I replied. "Bad luck is
being tricked into marrying a girl who's pregnant with someone else's baby."
Maya stared at me without expression. "What are you talking
about?"
"Cut the bullshit, girl. I heard you and Craig talking through
the door. I heard it all, Maya."
She turned away from me, arms crossed against her chest. "I
don't know what you think you heard--"
I grabbed her and spun her around to face me. "Stop it, OK?
Stop fronting like you don't know what I'm talking about! Do you know what
you've done? Do you realize that you have screwed up the one good thing in my life
with your lies?"
I didn't realize I was shaking Maya until I heard her crying out.
When I released my grip on her shoulders, she fell onto the bed, sobbing.
"What about my life? My life is fucked up, too."
"That didn't give you the right to mess up mine," I countered.
"Tracy, I didn't--this wasn't my idea. It's not what I
wanted," she said.
I nodded. "Yeah, maybe. But you went along with it and
that makes you just as guilty as Craig."
Maya wiped and rubbed her eyes. "All right. So you know
the truth. What happpens now?"
I sat down on the bed next to her. "Well, you and I can't get
married today, Maya. It wouldn't be right
or fair. No one would benefit from that except Craig."
"But everybody's here...there's food and stuff," Maya said.
"They'll understand. They'll have to understand," I
replied.
"But what about the baby? What will I do about the baby?
Craig won't marry me."
For the first time since Maya started confiding in me over the summer, she
was vulnerable, unsure and feeling unwanted. I put my arm around her shoulder.
"Maya, you may love Craig, but he's in love with only one person and that's
himself. You and your baby would be better off without him."
"You don't know him like I know him," Maya said. I sighed, hating
what was about to come.
"Unfortunately, I do know Craig like you know him, Maya. In
fact, I know him better." I grabbed her hand. "Come with me."
"Wait. I can't leave here. The wedding--"
"There's not going to be a wedding, and anyway, we're just going down
to the basement. You and Craig need to talk. I'm going to take you to
him."
Maya stopped protesting after I mentioned Craig's name. We almost got
spotted twice as we made our way down to the basement, but managed to get there
undetected.
"Why is Craig down here?" she asked.
I stopped just outside the guest bedroom.
"Maya...Craig is inside this room. I want you to wait here and
listen."
Maya looked confused, but shrugged. I opened the door and went
inside, leaving the door cracked. Craig was exactly as I'd left him.
"What took you so long? You know I don't like to wait."
"Some things are worth the wait," I said.
"Hell, yeah. I can't wait to tap that ass," Craig said.
"Won't be the first time."
"Got that right. I plugged that ass so many times, yo shit got
my name on it," Craig replied.
I knew I could count on Craig's conceitedness to hang him. I looked
to the door. "Maya?"
The door slowly swung open and Maya appeared, eyes wide and wet, lips
trembling as she took in the scene before her. Craig raised up as far as his restraints
would allow.
"Fuck! Maya baby, this...this ain't what it looks like."
Maya stepped further into the room, looking between us as if looking at
demons. "Is it true? Did you...," her voice dropped to a whisper.
"Did you have sex with Tracy?"
Craig yanked at his restraints. "No! This crazy fucker
tied me up...he's sick, girl."
"But I heard you...I heard what you said," Maya said.
"It wasn't nothing, Maya. Nothing," Craig said.
"You sick bastard!" she screeched. "I hate you
both!"
With that, she turned and ran away. Craig jerked his body in my direction.
"I'ma kill you for this," he growled.
"That's if you ever get out of here," I said, walking to the
door. I flicked off the light. "So long, muthafucker." I locked the
door and closed it. When I reached the stairs, I looked up and found Maya sitting on
the top step, her eyes open, but hollow. She was staring at nothing. I called
out to her. Her eyes focused on me. They seemed cold, dark. She stood.
Before I could say anything, she threw herself forward and tumbled down the flight
of stairs, landing at my feet a bloody and unconscious mess.
Chapter 50
The day that was supposed to be my wedding day
ended up being a day of loss. Maya's fall led to a miscarriage. Although I didn't tell
anyone, I knew that the loss was intentional. I'd watched her throw herself down those
stairs, and I knew that she meant harm when she did. Thankfully, no one asked too many
questions. As for Craig, he was "exposed." When everyone descended on the
basement in the aftermath of Maya's fall, Craig's cursing and carrying on drew attention
to the locked guest bedroom. I stood by as someone went to get the key and unlocked the
door. I was among the "shocked" spectators to discover him bound and nude,
looking like the sex slave he was. The ambulance arrived before I could hear his
explanation, but Duane later told me that Craig claimed that this girl he just met lured
him down there, tied him up and ran off.
The cancellation of the wedding came as no big
surprise given the circumstances. And now that I'd reclaimed some control of my life, I
realized I could no longer live with my parents. I suspected that they didn't want me
around, either. Dad stayed holed up in his room the days following the non-wedding,
letting his absence communicate what he had to say to me. On December 29, I packed my bags
and began to stuff 17 years worth of stuff into a few duffel bags. As I was doing so,
Duane sauntered into my room, looking groggy from just waking up.
"Where you going?" he asked.
"I can't stay here," I said. "The
only reason dad let me back in here was because of the wedding. Now that it's not
happening, I have to go."
"Did he tell you that?" Duane asked.
"I haven't seen him since the day of the
wedding," I said.
"Exactly. If dad didn't want you here,
Trace, you know you wouldn't be here."
I sighed. "Okay. Truth is, I don't want to
be here no more."
He sat on the bed. "I don't know why not.
This is your home, the only home you've ever known. I know you guys been having problems
lately, but mom is still your moms and dad is still your pops. Can't nothing change
that."
"True. But I'll be their son only if I keep
on being the Tracy THEY want me to be."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
he asked.
A knock sounded at the door. My brother Eric
entered. "Hey, I'm going to make breakfast if y'all want--" he noticed the
duffel bags on my bed. "Hey, where you going?"
"He's leaving," Duane replied.
"Leaving? Where are you going this
time?" Eric asked.
"Gotta go," I said.
"This is the wrong time for you to be
pulling this teenage runaway shit, Trace," Eric said. "Dad is in no condition to
be dealing with that. You should know that."
"This is not about me running away. This
is...permanent."
"Permanent? Why are you trying to leave
home now?" Eric asked.
"It's a long story...and one I'd rather not
get into right now. It boils down to respect and happiness. I haven't been happy for a
long time...maybe forever. And just recently, I found happiness--but I lost it trying to
make everyone around me happy. I'm not going to put myself in a position to do that
again."
Both my brothers looked confused. "Duane,
remember the day you went away to college? We were sitting on the stairwell in the dorm,
remember? You asked me something...something about myself. And I told you no, I said that
it was Craig who was really that way, remember?"
The slightest hint of fear colored the edges of
Duane's eyes, as he looked between Eric and I. "Yeah, I remember."
"Well, I lied. I knew then what I know now.
Truth is, the answer to your question is yes."
Duane hung his head. Eric darted his eyes
between Duane and I. "What the hell are you two talking about?"
I could hear a closet door somewhere beginning
to creak open. Now was not the time to slam it shut. "Eric...I'm a homie."
"A homie?" he asked.
"A homie-sexual," I replied.
Eric's face seemed to freeze. He didn't blink,
his muscles didn't twitch, even his eyes didn't wander. Duane sighed, stood and stretched.
Both of them gave me looks of disgust, anger and something else that was unreadable.
Finally, Eric spoke. "You are not a faggot," he said. It was a definitive
pronouncement, almost like he was reciting a commandment.
"No, I'm not a faggot, a sissy, a queer or
any other derogatory thing you can think of. I'm also not a nigger, a coon or a jigaboo.
I'm black...and yes, my brother, I am gay."
I didn't expect to be slapped by own brother,
but then, you never can predict how someone will react. My lips stung from the sudden
back-hand that Eric gave me. But rather than react to his reaction, I chilled. Stared him
in the eye. "Hit me if you want to. But no matter how many times you hit me, it won't
change nothing. I'll still be gay."
Eric's jaws clenched and his fists were balled
tight and pulled close to his sides. "I oughta..."
"Leave him alone, man," Duane said.
"Don't tell me shit! Ain't no brother of
mine gonna walk around here talking that fag bullshit. Oh, hell naw." Eric was
steaming.
"He's my brother, too. And if he say he
gay...," Duane said, looking at me, "then he gay. We can't change him."
"Fuck it! I am not gonna listen to one more
thing you gotta say," Eric said. He stalked out of my room, slamming the door behind
him.
That left Duane and I alone.
Chapter 51
After the scene I'd just gone through with Eric, there was no way I'd put
myself through a secon round with Duane. I walked out of my room and went to the
phone in the hallway. Good, dependable Cyrus promised to come retrieve me and my
belongings ASAP. I returned to my room to hurriedly finish packing and found Duane
still there, sitting on my bed.
"Look, if you're trying to stress me, I--"
"No, no. It ain't about that," he said. I noticed
that he seemed to be in deep thought; he was barely blinking. "You know, before
I went to college, I never knew how widespread this shit is. I ain't been on the
yard nothing but a few months, but already, I'm seeing a whole side to dudes that I never
even knew existed. It seem like every brotha I roll up on is looking to hook-up on
the down low."
In the midst of my own drama, I'd forgotten that Duane was dealing with
similar issues. We hadn't talked about the subject but that one time on the
stairwell in his dormitory. I almost didn't know how to broach the subject again.
"Craig must be having a good time up there at U of I," I said.
"You could say that," Duane said. "But he ain't alone.
I'm still trying to wrap my mind around this thing. I...I still don't know
how I feel about it...but what you just did...it took balls to stand up to Eric the way
you did."
I sat down on the bed next to Duane. "Well, after awhile, you
get tired of lying and backing down from people. I just got to that point," I
said. "But I think you need to figure out for yourself how you feel about
this."
I walked over to my desk and pulled a card out of the drawer.
"If you're ever home and you need someone to talk to, call this number."
The card was the same one my cousin Marv had given me this past summer, the card
with Cyrus' number on it. Duane glanced at it quickly and put it inside his pocket.
He didn't say anything else before he got up and left.
I began to tote my bags downstairs not long after. I took a moment to
look at the trophies crowding the mantlepiece. Most of them represented Eric, R.J.
and Duane's accomplishments in the areas of football, basketball and track, but two of
them bore my name.
One was a second place trophy I won in the eighth grade spelling bee.
The other was a swimming team trophy won back in the summer of 1998. I wanted
to take them with me, but decided to leave them instead. A small part of me feared
they'd be thrown out on one of Dad's bad temper days, but the better part of me trusted in
his loving me enough to keep these small mementos of my successes.
When I turned to head back upstairs, the kitchen door opened and mom
trudged inside, off balance because of the heavy grocery bags she was trying to carry.
Naturally, I went to help her, but she turned away from me. "It's okay."
She nearly threw the bags on the kitchen counter trying to put them down.
"I've got it," she said.
I didn't say anything. I headed back upstairs to bring the last
things down. When I returned, mom was unpacking the groceries and putting them away.
We exchanged glances as I sat a duffel bag on the growing pile of things at the
front door. Then, mom looked away.
"I'm leaving," I said simply.
"So I see," was her reply.
I can't say that her nonchalance didn't hurt my feelings, because it did.
I mean, was this my mother I was talking to, or a stranger on the street?
"I'll leave a number for you, in case you...you need to get in touch with
me."
She pulled a coffee tin out of the shopping bag and slammed it against the
counter. "Fine."
What did she have to be angry about? "Mom. You know this
is for the best."
"The best? What do you know about what's best? Tracy,
you're 17 years old and already, you think you have everything figured out. Well,
I'm here to tell you that the only thing you've figured out is how to destroy your own
family."
"I have not destroyed this family."
"Oh but you will, Tracy, you will the minute you walk out that door
again."
"You can't expect me to live under the same roof with dad...not after
everything that has happened," I said.
"So things have been uncomfortable lately. You're so willing to
let this destroy your relationship with your father, your brothers, even me."
"Mom, dad and I have never had a good relationship!
He's made it clear that I'm his last son in every way."
"And what have you done to try and make your relationship stronger?
I'll tell you. You've done absolutely nothing. You've been content with
saying no more than what you had to say to your own father, Tracy."
I sighed, wanting to scream. "Don't blame me for this mom,
because it's not my fault. You know what? I have tried...too hard...to be his
son. But his son and the person I really am are two different people. He won't
accept the real me, I won't be his son anymore, so it's out of both our hands."
Our little discussion was interrupted by a knock at the front door. I
went to answer it. "Ready?" Cyrus stood on the other side of the
screen.
I looked at mom. "You go, Tracy. Go. But this time,
son, it's a permanent move." With that, she headed slowly up the stairs.
"Yes," I said, looking at Cyrus. "I'm ready."
Chapter 52
This
is the end, fellas. 52 and finished! Thanx 4 all that luv...you make
a brotha feel special. Hope everybody enjoyed this story.
Peace,
J
In the days leading up to the new millennium, I settled back into Cyrus'
pad, camping out on his couch again. My brother Omar was about to move into a place
out in University City and had offered me a place to stay, provided I stay out of his way.
He was still a little sore at me for what I'd almost done, so he wasn't being
especially nice toward me. I knew I'd get him to come around once we were roomies.
On Dec. 29, I set out for Akil's. Now that I had reclaimed some
control of my life, I had to find him. I had to see him and let him know that he was
the only one I loved, that all the struggling I'd gone through lately was because of the
way I felt about him.
I didn't know what to expect. Our last encounter had been hurtful not
only for Akil, but also to me. He'd never talked to me, or treated me as coldly as
he did that day in the park. I know his anger was justified, but knowing that did
not ease the sting of his words.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized how special Akil was.
A lesser brotha would have resorted to violence given the situation.
Somebody like Craig would've popped me. But not Akil. That he didn't
stoop to that level had to count for something positive.
I stopped at the mall to buy Akil a peace offering--a journal in which to
write his poems. I hoped it would be enough to get me in the door.
Unfortunately, it wasn't Akil who answered the door. His Aunt Dora gave me a
blank stare when she pulled the door open. Her face then fell into sadness.
"You're too late," she said. "Akil left."
"Left?" My heart began to bounce off my breast bone.
"Surely you're not surprised. Not after what you pulled on
him."
"Where? Where did he go?"
Dora pursed her lips. "Why should I tell you? You're the
very reason he's not here as it is. He does not want to see you."
"Please! There's been a misunderstanding! I need to get in touch
with him."
Dora just looked at me. "I don't think so," she said,
closing the door.
I wedged my foot between the door and the frame. "Wait!
Wait! Can you at least get a message to him?"
She did not respond one way or the other.
"Please tell him that it was all a trick...the baby--it wasn't mine
and there was no wedding. My feelings for him haven't changed...and I'm staying with
Cyrus."
Dora closed the door, shutting me out as her nephew had all ready done.
No one had much sympathy for me. Cyrus, Omar and Marv's attitudes
were all somewhere along the lines of "what do you expect." There seemed
to be little I could do to change the situation. I had no idea where Akil could have
gone, Dora was not giving up any information, so as hard as it was to do, I had to forget
about him. I had to concentrate on getting myself together and preparing for high
school graduation and beyond. New Year's came and went, and I sent out college
applications to Lincoln University in Jef City, U of Michigan and on a wild shot,
Morehouse College. I had no real preference; I couldn't yet envision myself as a
college student.
Maya returned to school toward the middle of January. She looked a little
tired, but there were no outward signs of the distress she had been through recently. I
saw her sitting in the cafeteria by herself one day and went over to say hello. She
just looked at me and continued to eat her applesauce.
I sat down across the table from her. "Maya, I know I've put you
through some stuff, but I have never done anything to purposely hurt you. Everything
I've done has been to protect you."
She didn't respond.
"Maybe I should have been honest from the beginning and told you about
me and Craig, but I didn't think things would get as intense with us as it did. I
didn't plan for that to happen," I said.
She remained quiet.
"That's all I wanted to say." I got up to leave.
"I know," I heard Maya say as I left. "I know you
didn't mean no harm."
I turned around and smiled. She gave me a weak, half-smile. I
knew even that was hard for her to do given what had happened. At least I could ease
my conscious about the way I'd hurt Maya. If only I could have that same chance with
Akil.
God must have been listening because not long after that, I got a letter
from Akil--no return address, of course. Once I saw Akil's handwriting, I nearly
tore the letter trying to get the envelope open. I exhaled, and read.
Tracy,
Don't think because I am writing this letter that I have forgiven you, or
even that I want to speak to you. I am writing only because my aunt gave me your
message and there a few things I've got to get off my chest. First, I can never get over
the fact that you lied to me the entire time we were together. No matter if you
didn't marry the girl, no matter if the baby isn't yours--you slept with her and didn't
tell me. Who else was there? I can't be sure that Maya was the only one you
didn't tell me about, and I can't be with nobody I can't trust.
I can't describe the way your lying has hurt me. I ain't never opened
myself up to nobody the way I did with you, and you made me regret it. Maybe one day
I'll be able to forget this shit, but for now, it cuts too deep. And please, don't
try to get in touch with me again. Don't worry my aunt. I'm trying to get past
it, I'm trying not to hate you, but I'm struggling, man. That's why I left. I
can't be near you feeling the way I do.
Peace,
Akil
My first reaction was to ball the letter up and throw it in the trash.
I refused to accept that Akil and I couldn't get past what happened. If he
would just let me talk to him, I could convince him to give our love the second chance it
deserved. I knew I could. But there would be no second chances, at least
not now.
Akil had decided that all ready. He still loved me, even if he didn't want
to be around me. Love's too powerful to just dry up. I retrieved Akil's letter
from the trash, straightened out the crinkles, and placed the letter in the journal I had
bought for him.
I hugged the journal to my chest and took comfort in the fact that
one day, we'd meet again.