You can write the author at: brownluver@yahoo.com or
Chris Carr at: andy_dick35@hotmail.com
Thanks!
Getting To The Good
By "J"
October, 2000 ©
Chapter IX
Duane stepped into the room, his eyes widening as he took in the sight of Craig and I,
semi-nude, scrambling to cover-up. I dived off the bed and pulled my shorts back on.
"What the fuck is going on in here?" Duane asked.
Craig leaned against a wall, arms crossed against his chest. "You know how it is, Big
D. The kid's been on the dick for a while now."
Duane glanced at me, glanced back at Craig. Then, everything careened out of control. My
brother dived at Craig, and the two fell to the floor, rolling, punching, and head butting
to jockey for the top position. I had barely pulled up my shorts when this all began. I
didn't want to get involved, and thanks to mom, I didn't have to.
"Duane! Stop that!" She went right over to Craig and Duane, swatting and kicking
at them. "I mean it, boy. Cut it out, now."
Somehow, mom's admonishments ended the brawl. Craig stood, dusted himself and took off
before anyone, including mom, could question him. Duane stood and paced.
"Duane Michael Diggs, I told you to come in here and get your brother to help bring
in the groceries. Instead, you're rolling around on the floor with your best friend? What
the hell is going on here?"
Duane, lips pulled tight, looked over at me. "He was doing something in here that he
had no business doing."
My stomach dropped to my knees. Who was my brother referring to--me or Craig?
"Well, you know better than horse playing in the house. You could've broken
something, boy. Or hurt yourself." Mom grabbed Duane's chin and looked closely at his
face.
He backed away. "I'm all right, ma. I'm all right."
"Good. Now the both of you--come help me lug the rest of those groceries in the
house." When mom passed me on the way out Duane's door, she stopped, staring at my
shirt. "Boy, what...Why is your shirt soaking wet like that?"
She didn't notice Duane shaking his head, but I did. "I spilled some water on it. Let
me change real quick." I didn't wait for her approval. I went into my room and
collapsed against the door, almost hysterical. I took a few minutes and tried to pull
myself together; unfortunately, mom was expecting me, so I couldn't take too long. I put
on another shirt and hurried outside. After we brought all the bags inside, Duane and I
retreated to our rooms. I followed Duane into his room and closed the door.
We spent several minutes in silence, staring at each other across the room as if looking
at a mirror. The more I thought about it, I found that looking at my brother was like
looking in the mirror--now more than ever.
"What you saw...I didn't--" I stopped. I could not tell Duane that Craig had
sort of blackmailed me into giving him a blow job. He had already attacked Craig; that
piece of information could no doubt send my brother into a murderous rage.
"Save it, Trace. Don't try to explain shit, OK? Cause I ain't hearing it. I don't
WANT to hear it. And don't you even think about asking me shit, either."
"Duane, don't you think--"
"Hell, yeah, I DO think, which is more than I can say for your dumb ass. You left the
fucking door unlocked. Mom could've been the first one to walk in here--"
"Don't even, Duane. If it had been an hour ago, your ass would be on the line."
Duane patted his leg, staring off into space. He was trying to cool off. "Fuck it.
I'm not getting into it with you. Get out. Get out now."
I didn't have any fight left in me, even though I knew Duane and I would have to talk
about what had happened sooner or later. On my way out of his room, I noticed some telling
evidence and said, "You might want to toss that used condom in the trash." With
that, I left...
Chapter X
After showering and changing clothes, I decided to go for a walk. Aimlessly, I ambled down
Union Boulevard, cut across Adelaide and ended up on Jennings Station Road, not knowing
where I was headed. So many thoughts swirled through my head that I couldn't even focus on
one.
I knew one thing--I was confused as shit, and I wasn't alone. Craig and I hadn't talked
about what happened between us the other night. Duane wasn't even speaking to me. He
seemed disgusted at me, but why?
He was evidently doing a lot more with Craig than I was. My mind still leapt at the
thought that Duane--my own brother--was into dudes, too.
We'd shared the crib as infants, and
when he and my three other brothers were younger, Duane and I had even shared a room
together. I'd known him all my life, but after what had happened, I had to question if I'd
ever really known him. Shit. The way I responded to Craig the other night, I couldn't
really say that I knew who the hell I
was.
"Excuse me." I'd been so lost in thought, I'd bumped into someone and knocked
something out of his hand.
The stranger retrieved the book on the ground. "Ain't no thang."
I shared eye contact with him briefly, and I found myself thinking of teddy bears--his
eyes were that soft kind of brown that made me want to cuddle him. I smiled, and he
returned the gesture. His was a megawatt smile full of gapless white teeth. Lots of them,
in two perfect rows. There was nothing to keep us together, so he continued on his way and
I on mine. I can't explain why, but after a few seconds, I stopped walking, turned and
watched the brown-eyed stranger move further away in the opposite direction.
What was this rumbling in my belly? I tingled all over, and after a while, I recognized
the feeling overcoming me: nervousness. Over a complete stranger? What was it about him
that had me moving toward him, step by step? I don't know. I followed my feelings--and
ended up tailing him. His destination was the Pizza Hut a couple of blocks away.
I watched him walk in, waiting a few minutes before entering the restaurant. To my
surprise, the place was crawling with other young brothers and sisters, most of them
looked my age. They all looked at me.
"Are you with the GMAAD group?" The waitress asked.
GMAAD???? I was getting ready to turn and leave when I heard a familiar voice say,
"Yes. Tracy's with the group."
Standing behind the waitress was none other than Cyrus Colter. I hadn't seen him since my
cousin Marvin made him the surprise guest at our lunch Monday afternoon. I recalled him
mentioning a pizza party on Friday, but by Tuesday morning, I'd already decided against
going. Inadvertently (or maybe not), I ended up coming anyway.
Cyrus ushered me into the restaurant and quieted everyone down.
"Everyone, this is Tracy. Tracy, meet the group."
The "group" responded
enthusiastically--some waved, mouthed "hi", nodded hello, smiled or said
"wassup," "hey," or "hi." "Tracy's just feeling us out
right now, so I expect everyone to put their best foot forward and show
him the best parts of our little group."
The "group" snickered. One of the dudes sitting at a table near the back of the
restaurant motioned for me to sit at his table. I hesitated. Someone sitting at the table
said, "Ain't nothing wrong with us, man."
Another agreed, adding, "If he don't want to sit with us, it's something wrong with
him. Look at all these fine niggas at this table!"
I didn't see anything special, not until my eyes found the brown-eyed bait that had led me
into this trap. He was immersed in his book and seemed to be tuning everyone out.
I took the seat directly across from him. He glanced over the book at me, then closed and
set it aside."This makes two times that I've run into you tonight. Coincidence or
something more?"
"Tracy Diggs." I offered my hand.
"Yo, Tracy. I'm Akil. Akil Anderson."
The arrival of the pizzas interrupted our introduction. After we were served, Akil picked
up the conversation as if we hadn't been interrupted at all. We found a common interest
pretty quick--swimming. While I was on the team at Parkway South, his
school--McCluer--didn't have a swim team. Instead of a school team, Akil started a swim
league
at Aquatic Club, where he was also a part-time life guard.
We also had several friends in common, and had been to many of the same events and spots
around town, yet I didn't recall seeing him before tonight. "I'd remember you,"
I said.
Akil smiled, but it was more of a grin.
Cyrus came over to the table and noted how well Akil and I were getting along. "I'm
glad you made a friend, Tracy. And a good one at that. Akil's one of our newbies, but from
what I've picked up so far, he's a g.b." I guess I looked confused by the term 'g.b.'
because Cyrus added as explanation, "good brother."
In parting, Cyrus mentioned that the group would have another meeting on Tuesday at Cyrus'
office near downtown.
"Yeah, maybe I'll see you at the meeting Tuesday." Akil smiled that smile-grin
of his again.
"Yeah, maybe."
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