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Chris Carr at: andy_dick35@hotmail.com
Thanks!
Chapter XXI
"So you're going to the Homecoming Dance with Maya, even though you have feelings for
Akil?" My cousin Marvin looked at me like I'd lost my mind.
I hated the way he made the situation look. I'd made plans to go to the dance with Maya,
and I couldn't tell her that I couldn't go because I had feelings for another dude. I
explained the situation to Akil, and while he wasn't totally accepting, he didn't give me
stress, either. Only Marv had a problem with the set-up.
"Tracy, you're not even 'out' yet, but by playing this role with Maya, you're making
the whole process that much more difficult when it comes," he lectured. "And by
being dishonest with Maya, you're going to hurt her and turn her against you in the
end."
"Marv, this is a one-time thing. I'm taking Maya to the dance, and that's it. Don't
forget--we're not dating. I'm not obligated to tell Maya anything about my private
life."
Marv sighed. "You told me Maya wants to pursue a relationship with you,
correct?" I nodded. "Then she has different ideas about this dance. This isn't a
one-time thing to her. This is the beginning of bigger and better things."
"Well, I can't help it, man. Look, I'll just tell her after the dance that I just
want to be friends. How about that?"
"It's a good idea, cuz. I just hope you haven't led that girl on to the point of no
return," he said.
"The point of no return?"
"Love, Tracy. I hope you haven't made that girl fall in love with you."
I didn't even want to consider that. I'd known Maya a long time, and though we'd flirted
and gotten closer lately, love wasn't in the air. No. Maya was too smart to put her heart
into our harmless flirting, especially after the way Craig had done her. Surely, she was
being more cautious with her feelings. "Come on, Marv. If you keep jabbering, we're
gonna be late getting our hair cut."
Marv and I went downtown to Moe's Barber Shop, where we'd been getting haircuts since our
hair was first cut. Afterwards, I went down the street to the florist shop and picked up a
bouquet of yellow roses. Friendship roses.
Marv dropped me back home around five-thirty, and around six, I began to shower and get
ready for the dance. Mom loaned me the use of her car for the night--on the condition that
Maya and I take plenty of pictures so she could fill up her album. On my way out the door,
she handed me one of those disposable cameras--in case Maya's parents weren't the
picture-taking type. Mom didn't have to worry, though. Mrs. Martinez snapped so many
shots, I saw flashes of light the rest of the night. But after I
peeped Maya, I couldn't blame her moms for wanting to capture her daughter's image on
film.
Maya had on a simple blue dress, one of those numbers with super-thin straps over the
shoulder that ends just above the knees. It wasn't the dress, it was the dress on Maya's
body that made the statement, and I was hearing it clearly: Maya Martinez was all woman.
That dress molded to her every curve, clung to her flesh like a second
skin, and left no part of her upper anatomy untouched. I knew Maya was fine, but DAMN.
When she walked down the steps in that dress, her breasts bouncing, her
nipples spiking the fabric like tiny tents, I almost dropped the bouquet of roses I bought
for her.
Instead, I kissed her cheek and handed the roses to her. "You look beautiful,
girl," I said. "There's no way you can miss getting that crown tonight."
She accepted the roses with a smile. "Do you really like my dress?" She twirled
around and gave me a spinning, front-to-back view.
Any man with blood beating through his veins would love that dress...especially with you
in it, I thought. For a minute, I wanted to touch Maya, to crush her against me and feel
her skin through that dress. It was an animalistic desire, the same kind of desire
that took hold of me when Craig McLemore was around. But because I felt this desire
towards a female, I heard my brother Duane's voice again, asking a question that I thought
I'd long ago answered: "Are you gay?"
Maya was confusing me...or something like that. I have to tell her that we can only be
friends. That way, I can eliminate this confusion and concentrate on Akil.
Chapter XXII
All eyes were on Maya and I as we made our way down the center
aisle. The fellas couldn't stop staring, and they interrupted Maya and I dancing so much,
I found myself pouring more cups of punch than getting my groove on. It was cool, though.
Maya was scooting closer and closer on the dance floor, and I was getting more and more
uncomfortable around her. I couldn't deny Maya was making moves, but I also couldn't deny
that I was enjoying her making moves. And that was messing with my mind.
"Hey, Diggs. How the hell did you get fine-ass Maya Martinez to come to the dance
with YOU?" Ryan Carter, last year's star varsity rebounder and this year's super
senior, laughed in my face.
"She asked me."
"You wish, nigga. What's up with that? I was trying to holla at her a couple weeks
back and she was igging me and shit, but I know it wasn't because she was trying to get at
YOU."
I might as well be a disease the way Ryan kept saying 'you.' "Why don't you ask Maya?
She can tell you exactly why she didn't want to come to the dance with
you."
The smile on Ryan's face waned. "Why don't you do the smart thing, Diggs, and step
off. Maya needs a man, son."
I was trying not to let Ryan Carter upset me, but here he was purposely trying to start
shit. "Yeah, well, she's with a man tonight."
"Who, you?" He cackled. "The Little Mermaid? Nigga, please. Why don't you
go jump in a muthafucking pool somewhere and drown. Save yourself the embarrassment of
getting dissed."
"Whatever, Carter. It ain't my fault Maya don't want yo ass."
Ryan stepped into my space, glared down at me. He stood about 6'6"--at least five
inches taller--and tried to use his height to intimidate me. I looked him dead in the eye
and glared back. "Aw, so you think you hard, now?" he asked. "Shiiit. Word
around school is you ain't nothing but a little bitch, Diggs. Heard you got some sugar in
yo tank."
Only two people had questioned my sexuality--my brother Duane and Craig McLemore, both of
whom were questioning their own sexuality. Ryan Carter was different. He had no business
questioning me like that. I didn't intend to let him, either.
"Fuck you." I pushed at him, sent him tumbling into the
crowd. He rushed back, hit me dead in the jaw. I fell to the floor. Next thing I knew,
someone was pulling me up.
A chaperone held Ryan by the arms. "All right, gentlemen. You can either settle down
and go your separate ways, or leave. Take your pick."
Ryan broke away from the chaperone's grip. "I'm cool." He glared at me and
walked off.
I stalked through the crowd and headed for the gym doors. I had to get out. I was so full
of rage, I didn't stop, say excuse me, or notice anyone on my way out the door. I didn't
know Maya was following me until we were both outside on the gym steps.
"Tracy, where are you going? You can't leave. What's going on?"
I couldn't even speak, I was so upset. I sat on a step and fumed, staring into space. Maya
sat beside me, and filled the silence with her voice. "Ryan Carter's not worth our
night, Tracy. He's a nobody, just like Craig McLemore and all those other dick for
brains jocks at this school. Don't let him ruin tonight. Please. I just want to have fun,
and be with you. But if you're out here with your lip stuck out, angry at the world, I'll
be miserable."
I didn't know what to say to her, because there was little chance that I would have fun
that night. Anxiety fluttered over me like a black veil, nearly smotherin me with an
oppressive, nervous tension. My neck ached. My mouth was dry. My hands shook, and I
couldn't stop tapping my feet against the concrete steps.
"Tracy, are you all right? Come on, now. Talk to me."
Of course everything wasn't all right. Ryan Carter had basically called me a punk, and
claimed that word around school. Could it be the truth?
"Everything's fine," I told Maya. "Please, just...I need...a few minutes by
myself, okay? I need to think."
"You sure?"
I managed a weak smile for her benefit. "Positive."
She stood and went back inside the gym. My first impulse was to run to mom's car d drive
home, forget tonight had ever happened. That wouldn't be fair to Maya, however. This was
her special night, and I was her escort. I couldn't leave her behind. I stood, leaned
against the rail running along the steps and watched the cars drive by.
Time passed. My fears didn't. If Ryan Carter could question my sexuality, what was to stop
others from doing the same? He'd probably spread that rumor around school just to stir up
shit. I couldn't afford that. What was I supposed to do?
I ambled down the steps and stopped at the bottom. Things were getting out of control. I
was leading a crazy, dangerous life messing with Akil and Craig and now, Maya, too.
Something had to end.
"I knew you'd be waiting for me."
The voice emanated behind me. I turned and found myself looking into those familiar
blue/green eyes.
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