You can write the author at: brownluver@yahoo.com or
Chris Carr at: andy_dick35@hotmail.com
Thanks!
Chapter XXV
After dropping Maya at home, I drove the streets, just to be driving. I knew my end
destination was the Travel Lodge, and I knew Craig did not want to be kept waiting, but my
head was pounding and I couldn't focus. My thoughts were cluttered, my sense of reality
blurred. Part of me knew that Maya and I had just had sex; another part of me, the part
that was falling for Akil, denied it, wrote it off as a dream. Maya felt like a dream when
I was inside of her, but she was real and we had really fucked. She loved me, she told me
so, but I did not love her. Therefore, I was destined to hurt her, the same way Akil was
destined to be hurt by my transgressions with both Maya and Craig.
And now, in the midst of feeling lost, disoriented and totally out of control, I had yet
to deal with Craig.
We will not have sex. I vowed not to go there with Craig, not tonight and not ever. How
could I make him see that I was moving on...without him? He was so possessive. Once he
"had" you, you were his until HE decided otherwise, and there was no reasoning
with him. Most of his ex's made his possessiveness easy in that they got hooked on the
dick and couldn't refuse him anyway. It was almost understandable, given its enormous
capacity to please. That son of a bitch knew it, too. That made him dangerous. Very
dangerous.
I tried not to think about the dick. It had been a while since I'd had any, and sad to
say, being around Akil and not getting any of his made me horny lately. The taste. The
smell. That hardness. So different from the softness of Maya...I guess I'd been missing
the softness, too, the way I'd responded to her.
Why was I so weak? Why couldn't I take control of my body, my desires? How had Craig
assumed so much powerand control over me? Why couldn't I break it? By the
time I pulled into the parking lot of the Travel Lodge, I was getting hard again. I was
lost.
I shut off the car's engine and walked to room 106. I knocked. Waited. Knocked again.
Waited some more. I knocked harder, thinking that Craig maybe fell asleep. When I got no
response after I commenced to pound on the door, I went back to the car. My head still
quaked with pain, and in this condition, I had little patience for games. I drove home,
half-worried, half-relieved. It seemed I'd avoided being Craig's puppet tonight. Still, I
couldn't shake the feeling that it was not that simple. Nothing was
ever simple with Craig McLemore. Why would he leave the Travel Lodge, after going out of
his way to coerce me into joining him there? That wasn't logical. But then, neither was
Craig. The only explanation that made any sense was that Craig had gotten tired of waiting
and went home. If that were true, though, then he was pissed. And that meant he was even
more dangerous than ever.
I went to his mom's house first, opting to sneak around to the back and peek through his
bedroom window to see if he was there. It was pitch dark inside the room. He obviously
wasn't here.
I drove home and parked mom's car in the carport. I used the kitchen door, wanting to get
straight to the aspirin. It was just after midnight when I walked in the door. The house
was its usual dark and quiet self, although the TV was casting ominous shadows
across the walls. Dad must be in the living room watching TV. I rummaged through the
medicine cabinet above the sink and found the aspirin. I poured two tablets into my hand
and swallowed them, along with two handfuls of tap water. I proceeded into the
living room, headed for upstairs.
"Tracy."
Dad spoke my name. He clicked on the lamp beside his chair and looked up at me.
"You have a good time, boy?"
"Yes, sir. Maya won Homecoming Queen," I replied.
"Your mom will want to hear all about it."
I nodded, making a mental note to retrieve the disposable camera from the car in the
morning. "Well, I've got a headache. I'm gonna go on up to bed."
"Son."
I turned back to Dad, found him approaching me. He had a smile on his face. His smiles
were as rare as lunar eclipses. Something was up. "I hear this Maya is a
knockout," he said. "I'm real proud of you, boy. Real proud." He
unexpectedly grabbed me, wrapped his arms around me. He did this so fast, I had no time to
react. He was walking back to his chair by the time I started to return the gesture.
"Night."
Proud? I thought, staring at Dad's retreating back. Me dating Maya made him proud? The
implications of that reminded me of my throbbing headache. I went up the stairs, refusing
to contemplate any other thoughts tonight.
Chapter XXVI
I woke fairly early the next morning. I tiptoed downstairs in search of cereal, thinking
that my parents were still sleeping. When I got downstairs, I realized they werent. They
were in the kitchen talking. I stopped at the foot of the stairs and listened when I heard
Maya's name.
"I can't wait to get the pictures developed," mom said. "So you say Maya
was Homecoming Queen?"
"That's what the boy said."
"Too bad Tracy wasn't in the running for King. They would've had a perfect night if
he'd won King."
Dad grunted. "Shit, I'm just glad the boy's finally dating again. I was starting to
worry bout him."
My pulse started kicking, and I attuned my ears to their voices.
"Don't start that, Rick."
"What? A boy his age should have girl friends, Mare. He's a Diggs. He's a fine
looking boy, too. All my boys are."
"Yes, so? That doesn't mean Tracy has to chase skirts like the rest."
"Why ain't he? It's only natural. 'Ceptin' for Omar, all our other boys did. I tell
you, Mary, him and Omar, them two have always worried me."
"They're your sons, Rick, just like the rest."
"Yeah, but I've had to watch those two. I never had to watch the others."
"Those two boys are fine, Rick. All our kids are just fine."
"Never said they wasn't. Just said I've had to watch them two."
"Oh, why don't you just go ahead and say it! Say it, Rick! You've got to watch Omar
and Tracy cause you think they're homosexual. Ain't that what you're trying to say?"
I could feel my heart thudding in my chest, and I could almost hear it. "Sit down,
woman. Too damn early in the a.m. for all this carrying on."
"It's you, it's you who's causing all this trouble. Just because a few folks in my
family happen to be homosexual don't mean any of our children are."
It was true. Mom's brother, Lionel, and one of her cousins were both "out," and
now Uncle Lionel's son, Marv, was, too. I'd never really thought about sexuality being
inherited.
"I know that, Mare. I'm just looking out for my boys."
"I wonder, Rick. What would you do if one of our kids did--if one of our sons told
you he was homosexual."
Dad's voice was low, almost a growl. "Don't even think about it."
"He'd still be your son!" Mom's voice was cracking. "He'd still be your
son."
"I don't have no damned fairies in my fucking family and you know that, Mary! I don't
tolerate that shit, not from your sick-ass brother or your nephew and I won't allow one of
my seeds to go out like that," Dad bellowed. "I'd kill him dead, you hear? I'd
kill him dead before I'd allow that shit."
My stomach churned. My palms were beginning to sweat. I felt like a slab of granite,
frozen in time and space. I could not move.
"You are the most hateful--"
The doorbell rang, startling me. I couldn't let them catch me eavesdropping. I shuffled up
the steps to the landing, out of sight. I listened as the door was opened.
"Craig? Is that you?" mom asked.
I felt faint.
"How you doing, Mrs. D?" It was definitely Craig.
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at school?"
"I came home for the weekend. Thought I'd drop by and see my favorite peoples."
"Well, come on in, hon," mom said. I heard the door shut.
"Hey there, McLemore," Dad said.
"How you living Mr. D?"
"Well, I'm living. Can't say much more than that." There was a bit of laughter.
"Well, Craig, it's just us. Tracy's still sleeping," mom said.
"That's cool. I kinda wanted to talk to you two, anyway...."
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