Dwarf Muscle

I had lived in my new house for only a few days when the next door neighbor came over to introduce himself. He was a real nice guy named John, and told me if I had any questions about the area, or if I needed anything just to let him know. Then, when he found out I did freelance work out of the house and was home most days, he asked me if I would mind signing for his UPS deliveries. He said he was starting up a side business and got a lot of stuff sent to him that he then shipped out to customers. At first, I was a little wary, but he assured me it was all on the up and up, and that I didn't even have to move the stuff, just sign for it and leave it on my porch, he'd pick it up when he got home, so I agreed.

The next day, I was in the back room of the house, when I heard several loud thumps coming from the front porch. I went up and opened the front door. There were two large boxes, about two feet wide and three feet tall, sitting side by side on the porch. A UPS truck was parked at the curb, but there was no sign of a driver. I tried to move the boxes over, but they were so heavy, they didn't budge. I stepped around the box, and jumped when I saw a short squat guy in an ups outfit, filling out package info on one of the ups clipboards. He looked up at me and said,"You want to sign for these for your neighbor?" His voice was about 6 octaves deeper than I was expecting. He had very prominent dwarf features... thick, bony forehead, deep-set eyes, square heavy jaw bone. The arm that he was holding the clipboard out to me with was short but extremely thick. I realized that I was staring when he rolled his eyes and said, "Dude, you signing for this or not."

"Oh... yeah... sorry," I stammered, embarrassed, taking the board and signing. "It's just that... well... How did you get these boxes up here?" I asked, trying to save face, and truly curious, as there was no dolly in sight.

"With these," he said, raising his arms and flexing them. The short sleeves of his brown ups shirt were pushed back out of the way by a rising set of super-thick, gnarly biceps. They balled up high and then hardened into two steel balls as he squeezed them out tight. Even though short and stubby, he was the most massive little fucking guy I'd ever seen.

"Jesus," I said. He just sort of snorted and took the clipboard back with his stubby muscle hand. As he turned to step off the porch, I thought I should say something to break the ice, figuring I'd be seeing this guy on a fairly regular basis.

"You know," I said, "seeing as how Christmas is coming, you should dress up as an elf when you're delivering packages." Even as the words came out of my mouth, I knew it was the wrong thing to say. I saw the muscles of his broad, miniaturized powerlifter back tense up as he came to a dead stop. He turned back toward me, and I noticed the size of his huge dwarf glutes, which would have been tremendously out of proportion if the rest of him wasn't so stocky and thick.

"You did not just say that, did you?" he said, his voice sounding even deeper than before. He cocked his head as he looked me up and down, and I realized that his neck was probably 4 or 5 inches bigger than my own. I had the feeling that I'd just pissed off a very powerfully-built Rottweiler. He dropped the clipboard onto the porch and came at me. He grabbed me around the leg and lifted me up like I was a scarecrow. He flipped me down onto the porch and wrenched my leg into a very bad angle. I tried to manuever away, put my head pressed up against a porch post. He twisted my leg harder, and pressed my ankle up into my ear.

"Fuckkk," I groaned. I tried to push him off me, but it was like pushing a wall. His glutes were hard as granite, and I don't think he even knew I was pushing on them.

"You think this is pain?" he said. "You think this is pain?" he repeated, as he applied even more torque to my leg.

"Fucking stop, man, jesssus," I cried out.

He let go of my leg and got off me, tossing my leg back into place. "You think that was bad," he said, smirking over me. "You ever use the word 'elf' around me again, I will put you in a whole world of pain. This freaky dwarf muscle will pound you to a pulp," he said, as he rolled his wrists and checked out his own writhing forearm muscle, all twisted and grisly. "You like all this muscle, don't ya, boy?" he said, nodding at my crotch, which had admittedly swollen up some. "Yeah, I like it too," he said, still flexing, and sprouting a pup tent of his own in his stocky brown pants. "And it's just gonna get bigger and better, boy. Doc has got me on some serious growth hormones, and I'm getting thicker and stronger every day." With that, he hit a lat spread, and as his back widened out, both sides of his shirt ripped open. "Oh yeahhh," he said. "I might just have to come back here more often to toss you around."

"Well, when you do," I said, sitting up, "bring a red, cone-shaped hat. I wanna see what my front yard would look like with a garden gnome in it."

His face darkened and he stepped toward me. I don't know what was wrong with me, but I just couldn't let the massive little tank abuse me like he had without getting him back some. Something stopped him from tearing into me though. Instead, he put his stubby thick fingers around a 4x4 porch post and ripped it out. He took one end in each hand, held it out at arms length and snapped it in two. He tossed the two pieces at my feet, picked up his clipboard and waddled back to his truck.

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