Searching for My Angel, Prologue

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Dear readers; It's up to you. I won't be keeping this one up unless I get some feedback. It's probably going to be a thinly veiled autobiography. So I could really use some encouragement. Thanks

Disclaimer: This is a Fantasy story with Man to Man Sex and Love relationships. Any resemblance to any one living or dead is purely coincidental. If you are under eighteen years of age, you should not be here. You have been warned.

He was cursed. That's all he could think of. No amount of magic seemed to be able to find the man of his dreams. Any attempt just blew up in his face.

Blue's mom sure knew what to name him. Markus Blue Thorn. And everyone from Junior high School on, decided Blue was his name. They sure helped him feel blue. He had a few friends from High School but they didn't take. Once he was in College he never heard from them again. With parents and a few relatives who practiced Magic keeping him attuned to the seasons, and the Magi Holy days, he never could just be with friends. It wouldn't be so bad if they just let him use some of that magic so he could keep some friends. But that wouldn't be ethical.

Then he got into a fraternity. That took all of his magical powers to deflect his parents and the actives. His Godfather, Terrence Blue Thorn, had been instrumental in that regard. He helped run interference with his mom when she wondered what was happening during Hell week.

Blue was glad for his help, though the activities that had occurred on the Wednesday of Hell Week were ones Blue would have just as well passed over. He had never been drunk before, and the active had Harry, Jon and Blue reciting the Greek alphabet mixed with sips of wine. They started with cordial glasses of wine. Then they turned into tumblers full of wine. Blue remembered singing a lot. The next morning Blue remembered a pounding headache, dry heaves and being excused from his chem lab by the TA, God love her.

Once his head was clear enough, he was able to heal himself, but that took an hour and a half. And his Godfather Terry Blue helping at the end.

Through the years at college and after getting the job at JBL, Terry Blue helped him progress with his magical abilities. But no body ever asked why Blue was alone. Oh the occasional questions from his mom, but it never went very far.

And then years passed and Blue was reaching his thirtieth birthday and still no one to love. He had just come to terms with the fact that he was gay, the year before. But he hadn't told his mom or dad. His brother's marriage had just self-destructed, so they were paying more attention to his troubles.

Blue had decided in the past year to say, "Fuck you" to the people telling him he couldn't use magic to find a lover. But the whole year was one stupid encounter after another. At least he had gotten it tuned to gay men. But not one was worth thinking about twice. Users or men interested in themselves first and foremost. Blue had a bit of fun sending them on their way. Until his Godfather was asked by the Elders to have a talk with Blue.

That's when Terry Blue found out how blue Blue really was. And how sad. Terry Blue was Bi-sexual and could relate to the problem of finding love on that side of his heart. But it just didn't help when Blue was alone in bed at night, feeling like he was being singled out.

Didn't he deserve his own somebody? His Angel?

That's when he started his search for his Guy. Blue's Angel. I guess I should say My Angel.

I can't keep writing like this. Pretending it's not me. Hi I'm Blue. In more ways than one.

So lets start over.

Don't I deserve my own somebody? My Angel?

Ok. So I was talking to Terry Blue and I said, "So how long was everyone just going to ignore me being cursed?"

And he said, "Blue you aren't cursed."

And I was nearly in tears when I asked, "Ok, so why can't I find some guy to love? Answer me that? It feels like I'm cursed even if I'm not. And look at all my friends."

Terry Blue took the bait and said, "What friends?"

I said, "Exactly! What friends? I have like three friends in the whole world. I'm thirty. I should have a few more than that. What's wrong with them? What's wrong with me that I don't have any? They just walk away. No explainations. Nothing. Like I wasn't even worth the effort to tell me to go to hell. Of course that's where I feel like I am half the time. No one to hold. No guy to love." That's when I did start crying again. Terry Blue held me for a little while.

All of a sudden the stereo is playing train's Calling mAll Angels.

I got upset and pushed him away. as I said, "You did that."

Terry Blue smiled and said, "Guilty as charged. Just you don't give up. On me or on love. OK? Cause you're my godson, and I love you.OK? OK!?"

I hugged him again and said, "OK."

Then he nugggied me and said, "And I'm a friend, too. So there for your just three friends bit."

The stereo switched to Billy Joel's I go to Extremes.

I grinned and stopped it half way and said, "I guess I do. I love you, too, Terry Blue."

End Prologue

To be continued?

Let me know.