Transcend 4

Read previous part

“I had just turned twelve, and even though I had no party, it didn’t matter to me because Sean had promised me that he had a special surprise for me. Sean was two years older than me and I looked up to him like he was the best guy ever. I didn’t even know what gay was back then, but I guess you could say I had a small crush on him. Whatever he did was great. I wanted to be just like him, do whatever he did, go wherever he went.”

“It was because of that that I was so happy when he told me to meet him in the school’s weight room that next day. Sean had been hanging with some of the older kids at school, lifting weights and playing football. I thought he was going to teach me how to lift and stuff so I could play with him again. How stupid I was. I should’ve seen how far we were growing apart sooner.”

“I met him in the weight room and he showed me a little bit about warming up and stretching. Then he took me over to a bar that was lying on the floor. It had two plates on each side and he said we were going to use that. He then put these wrist straps on me and helps me get them on the bar. But he tied them to the bar really tight. He then told me to try and lift it, but I couldn’t move it at all. That’s when he said, ‘Ok guys, c’mon in!’ In the mirror I saw five older kids come out of the locker room. They patted him on the back and told him what a good job he did.”

“I looked at Sean and asked, ‘What’s going on?’ The biggest kid said that they were going to show me what they did to fags and before I could say anything else, two of the kids grabbed my feet and yanked them back. I tried to struggle away, but I was so small and weak that I couldn’t get anywhere.”

“Then they started to beat me.” I shuddered uncontrollably. “All of them just started punching and kicking me, including Sean. I kept screaming for them to stop and yelling to Sean asking him why, but all he had was a cruel smile on his face.”

I pulled the robe down a bit and revealed my bare skin and the various scars that I had and I could feel Sarge wince. “They did all this to me for being something I didn’t even know about. After they were done, they untied me and left me there bleeding. I don’t know how they made it so no one came to the weight room that day, but I had to have laid there for at least an hour before I could even move. Eventually, I got up and stumbled out of the weight room.”

“I didn’t go back to the orphanage. The matron was a cold, uncaring bitch. Even if she did something, she couldn’t protect me all the time. Sean was getting bigger and bigger by the day and he could beat me up and there was nothing I could do about it. Even if he wasn’t getting bigger, Sean had just shattered the last vestige of hope I had. He was my friend. He was the only person in the world I had trusted. And he betrayed me. He beat me up, left me bleeding on a dirty floor and laughed at my pain. How could he do that to me, knowing I would see him every day and be forced to live that beating every time I saw him. So I just left. No one came looking for me.”

I looked up into Sarge’s eyes. “Not long after that I tried to kill myself. But in the end, I just couldn’t go through with it though. I wanted so much to just end it, but I couldn’t. Part of the reason I came here is because I thought you might be a crazed killer.” Sarge gave me a quizzical glance and I continued, “But I’m glad you didn’t end up being one. To be honest Sarge, I’ve been trying not to fall for you from the moment I saw you at the site.”

Sarge gave me a gentle smile and squeeze. “It was tough for me to trust you. After Sean, I didn’t think I could trust anyone ever again. But being here, seeing how much you really care for me makes me feel a little better. I can’t believe how easily you make it seem, but I still don’t think I could trust anyone but you.”

I finally stopped rambling and just looked at Sarge and into his big blue eyes, waiting for him to say something. I could see the gears turning as he composed his answer. Finally, he pulled me closer and said, “Ben, you’ve had more troubles in your few years than most people have in their entire lives. No matter what anyone might say, you are a strong kid. What you’ve been through would’ve broken most people, but here you are, still alive.”

“I wish I could’ve stopped your parents from dying. I wish I could’ve kept you from being in the orphanage. I wish I could’ve stopped those kids from almost killing you and I really wish that I could’ve paid them back for what they’ve done to you. But all that is in the past. The only thing we can do anything about is the future. What you have to do is transcend all the pain and suffering from your past. I promise I will do everything I can to help you get through all this, to where all that will be a distant memory.”

“Don’t let the past color your future anymore. It can’t dictate what you are or what you can be. It is dead and gone now. You have me and I swear that as long as I can, I won’t let anything like that happen to you again.”

He stood up, still carrying me in his arms and headed towards the basement gym. I held onto him even more tightly as he descended the stairs. He opened the door and walked in. “This room is as much your’s now as it is mine. You can either be afraid of it or you can dominate it. Bend everything in here to your will, use all the weights and the machines to make you better and prove to yourself that you are better than Sean and all the kids that hurt you. Transcend all your pain and your disappointments through the fires of weightlifting. I promise you that I will be by you every step of the way and together, we’ll get through all your past pains and prove to everyone how strong you really are.”

I couldn’t move for a few minutes. I really wanted everything Sarge said. I wanted to be huge and strong like he was, like I imagined Sean was. Sarge knew what he was talking about. I wanted to overcome everything that happened back then. I wanted to become better than I imagined Sean was. Even though I hated him now, he did hold a spot in my heart. But now, I had Sarge. Sarge was really who I wanted to be. He was huge, muscular, strong and caring. He already proved so much to me with his few words. I decided then and there I would transcend Sean. I would become every bit of Sarge that I could be.

I motioned for Sarge to let me down. I walked towards the bar that sparked the pain to begin with and gingerly placed my hands on it. The fear was still there, but knowing that I had my big daddy behind me made me feel a lot safer. I turned to him to see a fatherly smile come across his face, the pride of that small accomplishment evident in his gaze.

I smiled back at him and said, “I remember when I wanted to grow up to be like Sean. But now, I want to grow up to be just like you. I want to be huge and strong and as kind as you Sa…dad.”

His grin broke into a full smile,” Well then son, let’s get started.”

Read next part