A new Sexuality - ToddPerkins.com

Is your ASSHOLE Calling You?
Releasing Traumas from Potty Training


Many people feel the calling to explore their asshole. As strange as this may seem, this drive is actually an internal mechanism to promote healing and balance in your body. Following your desires around playing with or exploring your asshole can have a powerful effect on improving your life.

Exploring the sensations in your anal region causes stored energetic traumas, mostly from Potty Training, to be released. This allows your body to improve it's health and overall energy levels. Following simple, seemingly sexually related desires, can have a profound effect on your life. No, you are not going crazy... the human body was wired for self healing in all areas.

My goal is to take the mystery out of the process and reveal both great healing as well as the drive behind some sexual desires.


Background on Bioenergetic Traumas:

Deeply emotional issues and conflicts that you had when you were a child often don't get resolved. Parents, not understanding or caring about your emotions, unknowingly prevent you from expressing them and getting them out of your system. So these emotional traumas stay stored in your body waiting for later release.
Unprocessed emotional traumas stayed stored in your body as "body memories." A vast majority of the thousands of trauma memories stored in your body, are from childhood.

They get stored in logical places based on where the trauma occurred. Physical traumas, such as falls or accidents are stored at or near the point of impact. Emotional traumas get stored in areas of the body that related to the trauma in question. Issues around a lack of being loved, are stored in/near the heart, trauma from touching things you shouldn't have, get stored in the hands, issues around it not being safe to move forward in life get stored in feet, legs and hips, issues around sexual guilt or gender confusion get stored in the genitals, etc. Unresolved emotional trauma from potty training gets stored around the asshole (anus) and/or urethra.

The body will store these traumas with no detrimental effect for a period of time. But after a period of time (that varies based on how strong the issue was) the stored trauma begins to effect the cells where the memory is stored. The cells become ill at ease with the traumatic energy and start to change or malfunction. In the early stages this results in minor irritations of some kind. Over time, if ignored, it progresses to dis-ease. The body being no longer "at ease" with this trauma energy.

The body can work to protect you from this negative energy for a while, but over time it weakens in it's ability to contain the trauma. The body will do anything it can to isolate and protect the rest of your body from this energy, but it does not have the ability to release the energy.



This article has two purposes. The first is to help people who are afflicted with digestive and excretory ailments to release the root cause of their dis-ease. Second is to help explain to those who feel they have "bizarre" sexual desires, what is really behind their desires... emotional healing.

The understanding of bioenergetics has much to offer in terms of an understanding of the human body and the way it communicates it's issues.


unhappy kid on toilet

Potty Training is often not fun for kids.

An example: Hemorrhoids

Hemorrhoids are a signal that the body is not at ease. In its earliest forms it's simply an irritant to get your attention. In more progressed forms, it can seriously hamper your life. The body in it's attempt to isolate and remove this trauma energy, literally pushes the cells containing the negative energy away from the body in what we call hemorrhoids.

Ignoring them never works. They are persistent. Surgical removal can work to some degree to remove the worst of the cells and stored trauma energy, but there is often more subtle trauma energy that is left behind that continues to irritate and is difficult to remove or solve with traditional western medicine. The only complete solution is the resolution and energetic releasing of the trauma.


Hemorrhoids
Potty Training

Soiled diapers are only a minor inconvenience to you as a young child. You simply complain when they get soiled, and the parents come and change them. So when parents begin insisting that you are no longer allowed to just excrete at will, that you have to "hold it," it's not generally a pleasant situation for you the child. Holding on to your excretion is not normal to any animal, it's a learned human behavior. This process we call "potty training" emotionally impacts ALL people to some degree or another. The more resistant you were to the process as a young child and the more demeaning and demanding your parents were, the more emotional trauma the process produces.

Here are some of the primary issues.

  1. If the child is not ready to get rid of diapers, he does not understand why it is necessary. The existing system of diapers seems fine. There seems to be no reason to change.

2. Excretion is a natural body action that works on it's own timing relatively independent of a human's desire to control it. The concept of trying to control the timing of something that is outside of your control is counter-intuitive. It makes no sense and seems impossible to a child.

3. Potty training involves some complex muscle control and timing abilities. The child needs to:
A. Recognize when they need to urinate before it's too late
B. Learn which muscles are contracted/released to prevent the flow
C. Learn how to operate these muscles
D. Recognize when excretion build up in the lower colon
E. Learn what muscles are contracted to hold back the movement
F. Learn how to consciously release the muscles to allow excretion later
If any of this seems simple to you, I have some conscious anal muscle exercises for you that I guarantee will take you weeks or months to figure out and to master! There is no aspect of controlling previously involuntary muscles that is easy or simple.

And if this all wasn't bad enough, along comes the unskilled parent.

4. The typically unskilled parent, will use any method at their disposal to coerce the child into learning to "hold it" and release it on command. The typical parent will humiliate, scold, punish, yell at, force, hit, bribe or anything else they think will work to get the child to conform to this seemingly "simple" task of controlling the body and using the toilet.

For the child, the unsympathetic parent is the aspect that pushes the whole issue into an emotional trauma. If the whole thing wasn't confusing and bad enough... the child is now going to get emotionally berated and abused for their lack of understanding and skill.

The child begins to cry, the parent begins to yell... the body stores the whole emotionally charged scene. Then because our society has so many hangups about the body and privacy, discussing excretion or hangups around going to the bathroom are the LAST thing we would ever discuss with ANY other human being, outside of maybe a doctor... when we are having medical problems.

There is no opportunity for these emotions and hangups TO BE DISCUSSED AND RELEASED. So they are repressed. Stuffed back into the body and ignored.

As a result of potty training many people constantly are clenching their anus tight. So "nothing bad slips out." So we don't show other people our "mess." So people don't see the "bad stuff" about us.

When we are young we often interpret our parents disapproval as withholding love from us. So we often learned to fear that if we don't hold tight and stop things from coming out, people wont love us. That if others really knew what was inside us, they wouldn't love us. So we work to keep everything locked tight "inside."
Potty training for dummies









Kid crying



Letting Go - This is Bigger than you Think!

As I began digging into this topic I found that this whole issue was WAY more complex then I would have ever imagined. But having clients who had so many emotional issues around their asshole I found it important to seek understanding. Here is why this is WAY bigger than just a silly case of hemorrhoids.

During the potty training process you likely took in a significant amount of emotional trauma associated with phrases like, "You gotta hold it!" "It's bad to let go until..." "You better hold it!" And then if you didn't hold it, you were probably made to feel ashamed for not holding it. So there is a great deal of shame and guilt around the whole bathroom thing.

These emotionally charged phrases get imbedded in your brain and become very powerful instructions that keep replaying over and over again. "I need to hold it." "I can't let go." And because the brain doesn't know any better, it will apply this to ANY area of your life.

Do you find that you have a need to hold on to things?
Can't throw things away?
Can't let go of people who are not beneficial for you?
Can't let go of grudges?
Difficulty letting go of judgments around yourself and other people?
Can't let go of bad habits?
Can't let go of non-productive thoughts?
Are you "anally retentive"?
Do you "not give a shit."
Do you get "backed up"?
All these things are connected to these potty training traumas from childhood. All these things effect your daily life and likely all the interactions you have with co-workers, friends and family. These are classical "American" issues that seem pretty common to us, but pretty silly to the rest of the world.

Interestingly, these issues also have a detrimental effect on Spiritual growth. Spiritual growth is, more than anything else, a process of letting go of things. If you have hangups on letting go, your spiritual growth could be painful, arduous and messy rather then effortless and beautiful.


Most classically trained Western Doctors receive NO training in bioenergetics, and thus will be of little help in this area. Yet, there are a multitude of ways in which these trauma's can be released. Bioenergetic healers & psychoanalysts know how to release them, many Eastern energy healing modalities can release them, and YOU can release them. This will be my focus; actions YOU can take to release these traumas.


Symbolic Representations

Your physical body is a reflection of the health of your whole body system. This includes your emotional body and spiritual body. If you have a problem in one layer of your body, it will always be reflected in your physical body in some way, because your physical, spiritual, and emotional bodies are all interconnected. So any issues or traumas that you have unreleased in your emotional (or energetic) body will manifest or show up in your physical body in a logical and symbolic fashion. Here's how it works.

Excretion is a letting go of things your body no longer needs to carry around. It's a way of releasing things that your body is done with, things that have served your body, but are no longer of value.

So if you are having problems with the excretion process in your physical body, it's a symbol that there are issues in your emotional body around letting go of mental/emotional things you are done with. That you carry around emotions or thoughts that you no longer need, that you have difficulty letting go, that you still hang onto things that no longer have value to your optimal growth. It's all interconnected. Here are some examples:

life issues
excretion issues
a belief that "life is messy"
you have messy excretions
you are "anally retentive"
you have difficulty excreting (completely)
"timing is never right"
excretions happen at inopportune times
you get "pissed off" frequently
you have problems with urination
feel you have no control over life
difficulty controlling excretions

Physical Actions that Release Potty Training Traumas

The mind and emotional body are very complex creatures. Every person has an optimal methodology that works for them, some things can be extremely effective, while other processes could have no impact at all. The cool thing is that you are "wired" for optimal growth and healing. Because the things that seem the most interesting or exiting to you, are the things that will have the biggest impact on your healing!

Your desires will lead you right to health!

So the process is one of selecting things that seem most exciting to you!

Body Acceptance:
-Spend time nude alone (around your house)
-Spend time nude around other people
(around your house with others)
-Spend time nude outdoors
(nude beaches, desolate sections of parks)
-Spend time nude outdoors-socially
(nude beaches, nudist resorts)

Acceptance of Excretion Process:
-Start urinating with the bathroom door open at home
-Urinate in the shower
-Urinate outdoors
-Start defecating with the bathroom door open at home
-Go to the bathroom in the middle of conversations, encourage the conversation to continue in open doorway while you go bathroom

Acceptance of "messy" issues:
-Wear an "adult diaper" and explore urinating and defecating without using the bathroom
-Stand in the shower, unclothed and urinate on yourself
-Stand in the shower, clothed and urinate on yourself
-Find a willing partner, urinate on each other
-Look at your defecations in the toilet before flushing
-Don't wipe yourself with toilet paper after defecating, wash yourself with your hand and soap in the shower
Enema Bag Kit-Explore giving yourself enemas
(enema bag-$10 drug store-see picture right)
-Explore "rinsing your anus out" with disposable douches ($1 drug store)
-Defecate onto your hand
(with gloves on) look at your defecation close up
-Defecate onto your hand
(no gloves) look at your defecation close up
-Smell and taste your defecation
-Defecate onto your hand, smear some on your body
-Find a person with minimal issues about defecating and defecate into their hand, have them tell you that you did a good job.
(or explore with a person into "scat".. which is really all about healing extreme potty training issues)
-Help others (young kids/older people) clean up after their excretions

Acceptance of your asshole:
-Regularly rinse yourself out (douching)
-Spend regular quality time massaging your anus (external) and rear-end using oil or lube
-Spend time exploring the anus opening with your fingers, gently feel around inside rectum
(well lubed)
-Spend time exploring with a small dildo or anal vibrator
(well lubed)
-Spend time with larger dildos
(well lubed)
-Spend time seeing how large a dildo your anus can take in without pain
(no drugs)
-Spend time strengthening your back PC muscles (kegels)
-Masturbate while massaging your anus
-Masturbate while using dildos or anal vibrator
-Allow another person to massage your anus
-Allow another person to explore your rectum with their fingers
-Allow another person to lick your (washed) asshole (analingus)
-Allow another person to enter you with a dildo/vibrator
-Allow a male to penetrate you with his penis
-Spend time touching/massaging another's anus
-Spend time exploring another's rectum with fingers
-Spend time entering another person with a dildo/vibrator
-
(If male) enter another person's anus with your penis


Obviously you are not going to do all these things right away. Find the ones that MOST intrigue you and try them. Over time you will be lead to explore more things. Listen to your body, it knows what you need for optimum healing.

Oh... and ENJOY the process too!
nude beach

on toilet

shared pee

deficating

dildo up ass

 Resources For Further Exploration

- Douching/Rinsing out the Rectum
DVD Strongly Recommended:

"URANUS: Self Anal Massage for Men."
by Joseph Kramer

A well done video that walks you through hygiene, anal exploration, self massage, working with dildos, etc. Author (Joseph) used this to cure his own case of hemorrhoids.
-Anal exploration cured my hemorrhoids and other disorders too! -Todd
Uranus: Self Anal Massage
  Todd Perkins - Aug 2004
 
The best place I have found for toys:
BoyzShop.com