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| Ok so hopefully you have read all the stuff on this site and have already spent a considerable time exploring your own anus. If not, no problem, let me recap the important things you should know. 1. Realize it is NOT supposed to hurt. While your first time will likely bring up all kinds of odd sensations, pain should not be one of them. If you do find it hurts, STOP. It shouldn't. Relax, breath and have your partner slow down. Read the page Anal Sex should be Painless for more details on how to have a pain-free experience. 2. Rinse out your rectum. The simple act of douching (or "rinsing out") your rectum will make you feel considerably more at ease and comfortable. Even though anal sex is rarely messy, rinsing out vastly reduces the chances that is could happen. More importantly it allows you to relax more and focus on the pleasure rather than whether it might be messy or not. Rinsing out is not a complicated or messy process. Read the page on Rinsing out the Rectum for more information on how to do it. 3. Mentally prepare yourself for "new". By reading information at this site and by exploring your own anus, you can get to a point where you don't have anything to fear about the process. The more you understand about your Anal Anatomy and what you can expect, the more likely you are to be relaxed and have a pleasant experience. NEW Anal Sensations... If you have NEVER done any anal exploration before, keep in mind that you have a limited understanding of the sensations in that region of your body. You will likely feel the "I gotta take a dump" feeling and the "I REALLY gotta take a dump NOW" feeling. The anal area has all kinds of different sensations available, but up until now because you haven't explored them, they are ALL associated in your mind with defecating (taking a shit). So when you first start to do anal exploration the brain is going to feel the sensation and immediately label it as "I gotta take a dump," because it knows nothing else to connect that feeling to. Simply telling your body that it's ok, that this feeling is simply a finger/dildo/penis, your body will relax and stop complaining. As you explore further you refine your sense of feel in this area to realize that not all sensations need to relate to defecating. Having done a lot of anal exploration. I now can detect 6-8 unique sensations in this region, where as before it was all just the "I gotta take a dump" feeling. Now I can sense movement/pressure at the bend in the colon, the rectal valves opening, pressure in the rectum, objects in the rectum, objects going by the prostate gland, things passing through the anal canal, etc. Interestingly, even just taking a dump has become a pleasant experience. I can now feel so much more than I did before I can now even tell what is going on inside my colon & rectum! When you begin exploring, just be aware that unusual feelings will surface. Don't panic, just notice them. The way to handle it is to stop what you are doing and just relax for 15-30 seconds, if the sensation fades away, you know it is not real. Then you can begin to catalog some new sensations as "this is pressure on the inside wall," or "this is the feeling of fullness when something is in deeply," etc. If you haven't taken a dump recently and your body needs to, when you first start pokin' around in there, you might "wake up" the urge to defecate. This is quite normal. Simply do your business, clean up, and continue exploring. Not a big deal. If you have rinsed out in advance, you would have already triggered the need to defecate if it was going to happen. So this wont be an issue if you have already rinsed out. The Prostate (Males) Prostate stimulation is probably the strongest sensation you will feel during anal exploration. When your partner touches it, you WILL KNOW! The prostate is very sensitive to pressure, especially if you are aroused. In the beginning this may feel a little like the, "I have to pee" feeling, but it's different. If it becomes too intense, simply let your partner know to change angles and it will go away. I remember the first time I had a prostate massage was at a weekend sexuality workshop I went to. It was an amazing experience! I felt the afterglow of that for almost 6 hours! As you become accustomed to the intensity of the sensation it's a very pleasant feeling. The other amusing thing I find with the prostate is that when I am aroused and something (dildo/penis/finger) presses against it, ejaculate oozes out my penis (prostate is the gland that makes the stuff.) It's a wild feeling! Explore and enjoy! [The process is called "milking" in BDSM circles.] 4. Check out anal sex positions. There are many different anal sex positions. Like anything else, they take a bit of time to work up some skill in each position. They can feel a bit clumsy at first, this is normal and goes away with experience. A significant thing to recognize is your level of comfort with having another person "take charge" and enter you. Some people are not comfortable at first with "surrendering" to another person's actions. If this feels kinda queasy to you, then you might want to look into positions where YOU are still in charge and in control of the motion. Positions such as "Ride'm Cowboy" or modified "doggie style" where you can control the motion and timing will make the process much easier and more pleasant for you. If you find yourself becoming uneasy at any point during the process, often just changing to a different position will solve the uneasiness. 5. Relax and have fun! Your first time is often very magical. There are so many new and unique things that the whole experience is quite enjoyable. Here is a hint from a guy who has talked with MANY people about their anal sex experiences... set aside all the fears and hesitations... they typically all turn out to be nothing! Often people go into it with so much fear about the whole thing, that when it's all done they don't remember much about what happened, just that they were surprised it didn't hurt, wasn't messy and seemed very natural. They then need another experience just to see what they missed while they were busy being afraid! Above all, have fun. Anal sex is a pleasurable and enjoyable form of sex for both men and women. People who don't do all the reading and learning that you have done still have a good first experience. Yours is bound to be GREAT! Enjoy! -Todd :-) |
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| "Bliss, I learned from being sodomized, is an experience of eternity in a moment of real time..." "The penetration is deeper, more profound; it rides the edge of sanity. The direct path . . . to God, has become clear" "I am sitting on the threshold. Perhaps this is the final paradox of God's paradoxical machinations: my ass is my very own back door to heaven. The Pearly Gates are closer than you think." Toni Bentley describing her experience of learning anal sex in her book: The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir |
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Todd Perkins - Jan 2005
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